Chapter 183
Cassie
I knew this would happen, I knew it and yet when he dropped my hand to hold her up , it had felt like a knife slicing into my heart.
Julian was going to cut my heart out against and this time it would kill me.
LIES
There it was that word again. Tumbling over and over in my head like tumbleweed. The grey woman had tried to warn me that things were going to get bad. The title of the book had whispered to me that I was surrounded by lies and deceit and I knew that was true because I couldn’t open it.
I was just too afraid of what I would read on those pages.
But I had assumed it was an attack that was going to happen. I was ready for that.
What I wasn’t ready for was Megan and how soft Julian’s eyes had got when he had looked at her stomach. He might say he didn’t care for her anymore or that he never did.
Julian never got to see me pregnant. He had never looked at me with that soft wistful look in his eyes.
My shoulder was caught in a strong hand and I was whirled around.
“I called after you.” Julian said in greeting. “You seemed to speed up. Are you running away from me?” He looped one arm around my waist and tilted my chin up with the other hand. “Why are you running away from me?”
Biting my lip, I hesitated. To tell him the truth would make me sound like a jealous bitter woman.
LIES
I pushed the thought away. Some lies were necessary I told myself.
“It hurt you.” Julian said yanking me into him so we bumped together. “When I dropped your hand.”
He said it in such a matter of fact kind of way that I didn’t answer him. What would be the point anyway? He already knew the truth.
“I just didn’t want her to fall.”
“I know. I know.” I said stronger and louder than before. “It wasn’t that. It wasn’t just that anyway-“ I amended, I looked away quickly.
“I love you Cassie, but-“
I tore myself out of his arms and stomped away. Of course there was a but at the end of his sentence. There was always a but when it came to Megan.
He acted differently around her even after everything she had done.
“Cassie stop this.” Again he caught my shoulder but this time I was ready for him. Shaking him off I turned with a growl into his face.
“You are acting like you are jealous.”
His words made the growl die on my lips. Was that what he really thought? Of course he would be right. I was jealous and I had every right to be. Something he couldn’t seem to understand.
“I love you Cassie.” Reaching out he rubbed his thumb across my lip. “Only you. But Megan might be carrying my child. Don’t I owe that child some protection.”
I huffed. “Of course you do.” I admitted with a sigh. “And I wouldn’t like you if you didn’t love and look after that child but-“
“I have no feelings for her ,Cassie. You are my mate and I love you with all my heart. I just don’t want to be the kind of ruler who,” he shook his head. “Well you know what I’m talking about. I understand this is painful for you, so maybe you should stay away from her for a little while until tempers start to cool down. You let her get under your skin too easily and Megan is going to play on that.”
The moment he said it he knew he had made a mistake. One of several that had come out of his mouth in the last few minutes.
“Don’t even say it Cassie.” He warned with a low snarl.
I met his eyes and my lips thinned. Oh I was going to say it alright. “I should have known you would want to be alone with her.”
His eyes darkened but I didn’t stick around to sneer at him. Instead I walked away, my shoulders held high.
“Well.” I threw over my shoulder. “I won’t get in the way.”
“ Stop this right now. I understand that you don’t like this but-“ I could hear his feet chasing after me. But I didn’t look back.
My feet sped up.
“You are my wife, my mate and the love of my life Cassie.” He called after me. His voice sadly broken. “Please don’t shut me out. I need you.”
It took everything in my power to not turn around and rush into his arms. I knew I was being unreasonable. I just couldn’t help myself. The image of his hands on her and his eyes lovingly looking at her belly were scorched into my retinas.
I was hurting and I wanted to hurt him in return. I wanted to hurt them all.
WAKE UP.
LIES.
The words thundered in my head. Was my brain trying to tell me to wake up to the lies that Julian was telling me when he said he didn’t care for Megan or was it something else. I didn’t know and I was too tired to try and figure it out.
I just wanted to wake up and find out that all of this was a nightmare.
“And she is your mistress.” I let out a sarcastic little laugh. “But your king, so I guess you are allowed both.”
Behind me I heard him growl.
“I’m tired Julian.” I called back to him. “And I need some alone time. Go back and make sure your mistress is fine. I won’t make anymore of a scene don’t worry.”
I sounded bitter.
I was ok with sounding bitter.
Hunching my shoulsers I hurried forward a few steps. Only to have my feet taken from under me. Julian caught me around the middle and swung me up and over his shoulder.
I shrieked, beating at his back with my small fists.
“Get off me, you big overgrown brute of a mutt.”
Smack, his hand came down hard on my ass. “Not until I prove to you how much you mean to me.” He said as he kneaded the stinging cheek.
“Not until you stop being angry with me and tell me you love me.”
I growled at him. “You’re mistress is waiting.”
I didn’t need to see to know he had rolled his eyes. “I don’t have a mistress, queen Cassie. I have a mate and a wife. She is all I will ever need. Even if sometimes she drives me absolutely insane.”