Chapter 161
Cassie
There were many benefits of being a shifter. Quicker, stronger and faster. We didn’t get drunk as quickly as humans. In fact it was pretty much impossible for us to get fall down drunk but there were downsides as well. Like the fact that my body metabolised coffee so quickly that even seven huge mugs down I was still tired.
Stepping into the kitchen Julian frowned. The look on his face spoke volumes. But not as much as his pounding feet on the stairs had done.
He had woken up, found me gone and freaked out. It was pretty clear that he had thought I’d gone wandering again.
I would have felt bad except I was too tired to care.
“You weren’t in bed.” He said flatly. His tone full of accusation.
“Sorry I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to disturb you by tossing and turning.” Turning towards him I forced myself to smile.
Sliding onto one of the stools my husbands eyes appraised me. Taking in my disheveled hair and the wet cleaning cloth in my hand. I tossed it away into the sink and wiped my wet hand down my thigh.
“How long have you been up Cassie?” He asked , his eyes finally leaving me to look around the spotless kitchen. Every side had been wiped down, the inside of every cupboard scrubbed clean.
“A while.” I admitted with a shrug.
“You should have woken me up.” Julian’s voice was flat but not emotionless. He was just trying not to get angry.
With a sigh I jumped up on the side. Letting my legs swing.
“Why?” I asked. “Why would I force you to be awake just because I’m not tired?”
It was a genuine question but Julian’s eyes narrowed. “You are tired though Cassie.” He pointed out. His eyes glued themselves to my face and I knew he saw how exhausted I was. How the circles under my eyes were so dark they looked like bruises.
“You’re more that tired. You are exhausted but you would rather stay down here and clean than try to sleep?” His eye met mine unblinking. “Why?”
“Leave it.” Turning my back on him I went to the coffee machine. Not that I thought another mug would do any good but it sure as hell couldn’t hurt either.
I didn’t hear him move. But he was behind me in a second. His hands sliding around my waist to pull me back against him.
“What’s going on Cassie?” He asked softly. His breath moving my hair slightly.
“Nothing.” I lied .
Julian made an exasperated sound in the back of his throat. Half growl and half groan. “Stop lying to me Cassie. More importantly, stop lying to yourself. Something is up with you.” With sure firm movements he moved me in his arms. Pressing me between the hardness of his body and the solid worktop behind me.
I couldn’t help it I let my forehead drop to his chest and took several long shaky breaths. I could lie to him. I knew that but what would be the point. He knew I was lying and I knew he knew I was lying.
“Something is up with the whole world right now. But -“ I sucked in the smoky rich scent that was all him. “I hear things when I’m going to sleep. Sometimes they wake me up from my dreams, sometimes they-“ I swallowed hard. “I hear them when I’m wide awake. And they are so real.”
A sigh lifted his chest. “You hear Noah and Niall.” He said in a matter of fact kind of way.
It wasn’t a question but I answered it anyway. “Yes.” I whispered.
“And that’s why you ran out naked into the snow?” He asked simply. “I get that.” Julian’s voice turned kind. “I would have done the same. I miss them but I know it’s not anything compared to what you are feeling. Do you want to go and be with them?”
My heart skipped a beat. I wanted that more than anything. I needed them in my arms to feel complete but I knew leaving now would just make things worse. Julian was the rightful king and as his wife and mate I had a duty to stand by his side and fight for our kingdom. It was the only way we could ever hope to be a family again and live in peace.
Peace? I snorted in derision. My children probably would never live in peace. Julian sure as hell hadn’t. People had been trying to murder him since he was a child. And even back then I had been the one to save him.
We were a couple now. King and queen of an entire people. I would save him now as well. It was my destiny.
Our destiny.
“Did you hear them last night? Is that why you came down here? You were too afraid to go back to sleep?”
“Staying busy helps. But no.”
“No?”
“I didn’t hear them last night. I know I’m not really hearing them. It’s just hard to work out what’s real and what’s not when I’m half asleep.
“What did you hear last night?” He asked softly.
I lifted my face so I could meet his eyes. “It’s nothing.” I shook my head.
“Cassie, tell me.” Julian demanded.
I took a deep breath. Settling my nerves. Why was it so hard to be honest with him?
“You.” I said in a tiny whisper and his eyes widened. “I heard you?”
“Even after ?” He didn’t need to carry on that question.
“Yes. Yes even after you had woken up. I could hear your voice even when I could see you were asleep and your mouth wasn’t moving. You were telling me to wake up.”
Slowly he cocked his head to the side and studied me. “I know this is all strange and confusing Cassie. I know you're scared. I am as well but-“ reaching up he cupped my cheek. “Listen to me. This me. This me who is holding you and loving you. This me who falls in love with you a little more every time I kiss your lips.” He brushed his lips against mine. “You don’t need to wake up. This is reality and we are going to be just fine.”
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