Chapter 220
Julian
“Ian.” I don’t know what made me say my second in command's name because I knew I couldn’t tell a soul what had happened this morning but maybe I just wanted to tell someone something.
The secret of it was already gutting me. There was no way I could tell Cassie. Megan was right about that. She wouldn’t believe it and would leave in a heartbeat.
I didn’t have her in my life how I wanted but I did have her in my life.
“Yes, your highness?” In the rear view mirror Ian’s eyes locked with mine. And I looked away quickly. I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell anyone.
“Julian?” He probed. His eyes widening as he dropped the honourific . Something he hadn’t done in a long time. When was the last time we had spoken as friends? Too long.
“Is everything alright Julian?” He pulled the car into the hospital car park.
I needed a friend more than anything right now.
“I feel like I’m losing her.” I said instead and it was only partly a lie. I was losing her and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. If Megan ever made good on her promise then I would never see Cassie again and I knew it.
The thought made me physically sick.
Ian turned his attention back to the road. The parking lot was busy. Cars filing in , and queuing to get out. We had chosen to pick Cassie up at rush hour but at least it gave me a chance to think.
“Cassie?” The car stopped as we sat in traffic.
I rolled my eyes. “Of course Cassie. I feel like I’m losing her. Everything I do and say sets her off. I don’t want to lose her.” My eyes glued to the back of his head. “You spend a lot of time with her now. Has she said anything?”
Ian shook his head without turning to me. “She doesn’t talk about anything but work and the boys. And anyway. I thought this was the kind of situation you wanted.”
Leaning back against the leather seats I frowned. “Of course this isn’t how I wanted things. I want Cassie to love me and-“
“And Megan as your mistress.”
I did a double take. “She is not my mistress. She is-“
I fell silent. I couldn’t continue. Not without putting my foot in it and risking my family's lives.
“Ok.” Ian sounded bored. “It doesn’t really make a difference. Cassie believes she is. It’s her who you have to convince.”
“And how do I do that?”
“Get rid of-“
“Forget it.” Angrily I turned away. There was no point even having this conversation. Ian couldn’t or wouldn’t help me. His loyalty which had once been mine completely was now on my wife and children.
“Just love her Julian.” He said warily. “She loves you already. I don’t know why because she can have any man she wants but she does. She wants to forgive you. You just need to give her a reason to.”
My eyes snapped open, following his gaze. I saw Cassie by the main entrance. Her slim body wrapped in a black dress that hugged her figure deliciously and then flared out until the skirts grazed her knees.
It was the simplicity of the dress that made it so perfect. Cassie was beautiful just as she was. She didn’t need anything to show it off.
“Love her.” I mumbled. If only it was that easy. I was about to lose her and I couldn’t stand it.
“That’s the one- hey where are you going?” Ian called out as I slipped out of the door and leaving it wide open rushed across the parking lot.
“Loving her.” I called back.
People turned to stare at me , more than one mumbled in shock but I didn’t care about any of them. My eyes were locked on my prey. My wife.
Cassie turned in shock. Her eyes wide as I swept her up in my arms and kissed her.
For a second she became stiff in my arms and then with a sigh that ripped through me , she softened. Her arms went around my throat and her mouth parted under mine as I dipped her lower.
It was the best, most honest kiss of my life but at the same time it was a lie. Because this wasn’t a kiss where things were going to get better. It didn’t matter how I looked at things now I was about to lose her.
Pulling her into my body more I moaned.
I didn’t care anymore who was watching or what they might be thinking. I needed Cassie more than I needed my next breath.
Because once tonight was done I knew I would never be able to touch her again. She wouldn’t allow it.
This was my last chance with her. One last night to love her properly.
Tearing my lips away from hers, I rested my forehead against hers.
“What was that for?” She whispered. Her eyes swivelled up to mine.
Smiling, I brought her mouth back to mine. My hand cupped the back of her head. She tasted so sweet. So deliciously sweet. I didn’t know how I was ever going to give her up.
“Do I need a reason?” I whispered against her mouth.
“Yes.”
I chuckled. “I saw you looking like the most beautiful thing in the world and I had to kiss you. I still have to kiss you.” To prove my point I did it again.
“Julian.” She moved her head back. “What is going on? Why this sudden wave of affection?”
Closing my eyes I sighed. I wished I could tell her the truth. I wanted to but I couldn’t. To protect her and the boys I had to play Megan’s game even if it cost me everything.
“I just want to spend this evening with you. No arguments, no one else. Just me and you. For one night.”
Her eyes widened and then she nodded and my heart shattered.