151
“Link!” Megan yelled as she opened the back door.
“Megan? Megan!” Link yelled as he ran towards her and caught her in the air as they both cried and hugged.
Link had been waiting for us on the porch. I didn’t stop to greet him as I raced behind Felix to the infirmary where I found Emily pacing up and down in the hall in front of the examination room.
“Any news?” Felix asked Emily.
“Not yet, they’ve been in there for a while now,” Emily said as she hugged me and looked at Felix frowning as she did.
“He’s her bonded half, Ems,” I said and her eyes widened slightly.
“Wow, you two really do share everything,” she remarked.
The door opened and Peter stepped outside looking grim and I could hear Ava crying inside. I smelled blood, a lot of it and it disappeared faintly as he closed the door behind him.
“I’m so sorry, Sire, I tried everything I could but she was already in premature labour by the time I got here,” Peter said.
“Is she okay?” Felix asked.
“Physically yes,” Peter said.
“She doesn’t know,Felix,” I said and he nodded his head as he walked out of the infirmary.
“The baby didn’t survive the birth, I’ll give you a few moments alone with her but then I’ll have to take her away for preparations for the ceremony,” Peter said.
“I’ll wait here for you,” Emily said.
“It’s okay Ems, you should go to the house, you’ll know what to do,” I said and watched her as she left me in the hallway.
I raked a hand through my hair and took a deep breath before opening the door. Ava’s blood hit me and then the scent of the baby. I could faintly smell myself and a hint of raspberries, the baby’s scent. Ava was bent slightly forward, a small bundle in her arms as she cried.
“Ava,” I said as I walked towards her and she looked up at me.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she cried.
“It’s not your fault,” I said as I sat down next to her and moved the blanket away and looked at my daughter’s face.
My own tears gathered in my eyes and slid across my cheeks. She would’ve been a beautiful little girl, her features were delicate and she was so tiny. Her little body fit into my hand and I felt her loss at that moment. Before now I hadn’t really thought about her as a real living baby, but now that I looked at her and held her, her loss seemed almost too much.
“I wanted to name her Hope,” Ava said softly.
“Then we’ll give her that name,” I said.
I sat with Ava for another two hours before Peter knocked on the door and I had to fill out the forms he had brought with him. Ava started crying again as he took Hope and I tried to soothe her, she’d be mad at me soon enough, but right now I could share her pain.
“What’s that?” Ava asked as Peter injected something into her IV.
“It’ll help you feel better,” he said and looked at me.
I understood that look. It was Felix’s blood, as her bonded half his blood would help heal her quicker than she’d heal on her own, like my blood could heal Megan and hers could heal me. I couldn’t wait too long before telling Ava the truth because she’d be discharged within a few hours.
“We should talk,” I said to her. She had officially been discharged, showered and gotten dressed.
“About?”
“I know the timing sucks but I’ll be filing for divorce on Monday,” I said.
“Divorce? Because I lost Hope? You tell me this just hours after she died? You made a promise to me! A commitment!” she yelled as tears streaked her face.
“We never loved each other Ava and this isn’t about Hope,” I said.
“I love you!” she yelled.
“You don’t really,” I said as she turned towards the counter and started throwing things at me.
“I hate you! I hate you so much!” she yelled.
I grabbed both of her arms and pulled her against me as she sobbed. “I didn’t plan this Ava but things changed in Montana. I found Megan, she’s alive and I marked her because she’s the one, the only one for me. You have a bonded half and once you give him a chance you’ll love him more than you’ve ever loved anyone.”
“You marked her?” she asked me softly and I could see the pain in her eyes.
“I’m not going to apologize for it, I’ll always choose her and I’m sorry if you’re hurting now, I didn’t want to tell you this now but it can’t wait any longer,” I said.
“She’s here, isn’t she, in my house?” she asked.
“Her house,” I said.
“You never loved me did you?” she asked.
“Ava, don’t do this, your bonded half is a good man,” I said.
“How would you know? Who even knows if I have a bonded half out there?” she yelled again.
“Ava, give him a chance, he’s worried about you and his blood healed you, that’s what Peter gave you,” I said.
“So it’s really Felix?” she asked me.
“You knew?” I asked her.
“I wasn’t sure what I was feeling was real,” she said softly and sat down, seemingly defeated.
“It is,” I said.
“I don’t want it to be real,” she said.
“Why not?”
“I don’t even like Felix!” she said loudly.
“Whatever you do don’t string him along, he’s my brother and my best friend, don’t hurt him because you’re hurting. He’s a good person and you could love him if you tried,” I said and left the room.
I stood on the porch and took a few deep breaths. Everything was happening too fast. I had too many conflicting emotions at the same time and I had no idea how to handle them all. I didn’t feel equipped to handle everything, but I had no choice in the matter. I had to.
Felix emerged from the other side of the driveway where the trees ended abruptly. His expression was solemn and when I blinked he stood in front of me. “I’m sorry brother.” His arms enveloped me and for the first time ever I saw him cry.
“How is Ava?” he asked me.
“Angry now, she knows about the bond,” I said.
“You told her?”
“She already knew.”
“Of course she did. Megan’s a real trooper, took charge the moment she stepped foot in the house,” he said.
“You should stay close to Ava, she’s angry and hurt, don’t let her do anything stupid,” I said.
“I’ll try but I know she doesn’t want this bond,” he said.
I didn’t say anything because acknowledging it would make it real. Instead I squeezed his shoulder and headed inside the house. Megan’s scent was everywhere and I felt calmer, more at peace knowing she was here.
Megan wasn’t in my bedroom but I could see that she had been busy. All the windows were open as were the sliding doors. The dressing room now held Megan’s clothes and the sheets on the bed had been changed.
I undressed and got into the shower and closed my eyes. I needed a moment of solitude, a moment to fully grieve the loss of my daughter. I didn’t even register the shower door opening and my head snapped up at Megan’s touch.
“I’m here, Ryder,” she whispered.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said as I turned around.
“I love you Ryder, she was your daughter and you have the right to be sad about losing her, the right to grieve how you see fit. I’m not going anywhere,” she said.
“I love you, Megan,” I said as her arms encircled my waist and I lowered my head to rest against hers.
“Let’s go to bed,” she said and shut the water of the shower off.
“Miss me that much?” I asked her.
“Don’t be a moron, we’re going to bed so you can sleep,” she said sternly but her eyes were smiling.
“Don’t ever leave me again. I don’t think I’d survive if you did,” I said. “And don’t call me a girl for saying this.”
Megan laughed as she pulled one of my t-shirts over her head and pulled on a pair of my boxers. “I wasn’t going to, but now that you mention it …”
“You were saying?” I asked as I pinned her down on the bed.
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” she replied wrapping her legs around me.
“I guess this is goodnight then,” I said and pushed myself off her.
“It didn’t feel like you wanted to say goodnight,” she said as she straddled me instead.
“Weren’t you advocating celibacy earlier?” I asked her.
“There’s an exception to every rule,” she whispered and lowered her mouth to mine.
I took my time undressing her, the wait was worth it. I didn’t want to rush this with her, every touch, every kiss left me trembling for more. When I finally pushed inside her it wasn’t like the first time at all. It was better, so much better than I could’ve imagined.
It felt like our souls merged, anticipating her wants and needs. Everything felt perfect, our hearts were beating in unison, our breaths labored, the sweat on our skin glistening as we moved together. Her orgasm triggered mine and for a moment I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t function.
Falling asleep next to her, her fingers intertwined with mine, gave me a sense of peace that I never knew I needed. I had missed this, I had missed her. I could feel the connection between Abeloth and Kaida growing as well, the bond between all of us pulsating.
“I love you Megan,” I whispered with my eyes closed.
“I love you too Ryder,” she whispered back.
“Marry me,” I said as she squeezed my hand.
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