Chapter 101: We'll Never Be One
There was only so much crying into my pillow I could take. Mom took one look at me and let me retreat to my room, joining me later with a tray of snacks, but leaving me in peace. Even Sassy didn't say a word and he usually gave me a hard time for being such a whiner.
I joined Mom and Meira for dinner, but the conversation was pretty much just the two of them. Even my little sister seemed quiet though, so it was a depressing twenty minutes.
I was about to retreat back to my room to sulk when Uncle Frank arrived. His appearance instantly jerked me out of my own worries, remembering his concerns about Sunny, but that faded as she walked through the door behind him.
I loved Sunny. Even though she was this really old vampire with enough power to probably tear me apart, she was the sweetest person I knew. I lined up for a Sunny hug when I caught the look Uncle Frank gave Mom.
Something wasn't right.
When Meira backed away from the undead bombshell and I took my turn, Sunny barely embraced me before dropping her arms, immediately crossing them over her chest.
Sunny's hugs were usually long and loving with whispered words of encouragement thrown in for good measure. She didn't meet my eyes, or Mom's, just kind of stood there and looked uncomfortable.
It was the last straw. Even Uncle Frank seemed too distracted to say hi. Instead of letting my heart be broken any further, I slunk away back to my room and did a little more pillow crying.
It wasn't long before Sassy landed beside me hard enough to shake the bed.
"Not everything is about you, you know."
I expected a shot from him, but not the way he said it. I looked over at him where he hunched next to my pillow, amber eyes half-lidded. He seemed almost sad.
"I know that," I shot back, but his tone had diffused me enough it barely came across as snarky.
"I'm not sure you do." He sighed and curled up, chin on paws.
I was not in the mood for another fight. "Can we just not talk, please?"
He didn't say a word so I took that as a yes.
Then it hit me. Sassy. His dad. He wasn't talking about Uncle Frank and Sunny just now, how not everything was about me.
He was talking about himself.
I tried to muster some sympathy, but I felt wrung out.
My demon chose right then to start hammering against the walls of the wards my mother put up. I could feel them weakening under her anger and frustration.
Stop it, I snapped at her
She snarled at me and hit harder.
I said stop! I'm not letting you have control of me ever again.
We'll see. Her voice echoed in my mind. You have to sleep sometime.
I shuddered. She was right. What was I going to do?
Sassy will be here. And Mom. That was weak. But I knew I could never do this on my own.
Not if they are sleeping too. She wouldn't. Oh, but she would use her power on them if it meant freedom.
We need to help each other. I was already tired of this conversation and it had barely begun. If we don't stop fighting we'll never figure this out. Wouldn't you rather be part of me than have to force me to let you have control?
No, she hissed spitefully. I'd rather you weren't around at all.
Oh no, she did not. This is my body, in case you forgot.
It's my body too, she snarled. And I think I've been very understanding the last seventeen years, letting you have all the fun.
Fun, right. She had no idea.
I'm tired of being trapped in here, she said. I like what being free feels like.
I should have felt sorry for her. Essentially, my demon lived in prison and she saw me as her warden. . But I just couldn't bring myself to feel bad for her when I was still deep in my own pity party.
You'll stay in there and behave yourself, I shot back, wincing because I sounded just like my mother.
Sweet dreams.
She refused to talk to me after that cryptic parting shot. Which only made me crankier.
My door creaked and small feet pattered across my carpet. A little hand crept into mine as Meira leaned over me.
"Are you asleep?" Her whisper was loud enough to wake the whole house.
"No," I snapped.
She was quiet for a long moment. "Can I sleep with you?" Her amber eyes glowed in the dark of my room.
"No," I said again. "Go to your room." I knew I shouldn't be taking it out on Meira, but she had very unfortunate timing.
She hesitated again. "But... I'm scared. I had another nightmare last night."
So what? I had a demon trying to take me over, doing things with my body I wasn't aware of. What was a stupid bad dream compared to that?
"Take Sassy," I said. "And go away."
I heard her draw a sharp breath, knew I hurt her feelings, but I couldn't help it. "Did you hear me?" I sat up in bed and stared her in the face. "Get out of my room, now."
Meira choked on a sob and ran. I heard a nasty huff behind me and felt something sharp jab my side. I snarled a bad word, turning to see Sassy bound from the bed and go after my sister.
He paused at the door long enough to glare at me. "Nice going, Syd."
I flopped back down on my bed as soon as he was gone.
Alone. Good. I was glad. They could all just go away.
And as for my demon... we'd just see who was stronger in this relationship.
I would not fall asleep. I. Would. Not.
***
I woke up half way down the stairs, almost falling over my own feet in the dark when I realized I was moving. Disoriented, I grabbed at the banister, just catching myself from falling.
I heard my demon growl in frustration inside my head and realized what happened.
I said no! Why couldn't she just leave it be?
And I said yes. She fought me for a moment, but obviously wasn't strong enough when I was awake to do anything about it.
That's it. I stomped my way to the basement, passing the kitchen clock that shone 2:13AM. I flopped into the center of the pentagram and focused my power on my demon.
I re-examined the gash keeping us apart while she paced on the other side, chuffing unhappily under her breath. The protective barrier was still there, stupid thing. I forced myself to reach for it and felt the pain come back.
It's no use, she said. We'll never be one.
Well, we have to do something, don't we?
She obviously agreed because she calmed a little.
Just let me have our body at night, she said. You won't miss it when you're sleeping.
I shuddered at the thought. Where do you take... us, anyway?
Running, she said. In the wild. It's amazing.
That's why my body hurt so much. All night?
She just smiled smugly at me.
It was wrong. I couldn't agree to that. What if someone sees you? You do know the family will blame me, right? If we were forced to uproot the coven and move again because she felt the need to stretch our legs, I'd be in huge trouble.
I'm not stupid, she shot back. I'm well aware of our safety and that of the family.
I hesitated, thinking about it. Could I live with it? If it kept her quiet? Problem was, what if that wasn't enough for her after a while? What if she decided she wanted to know what going to school was like?
Stupid. She lived inside my mind so she knew what I was thinking.
Been there with you and done it to death, she said. Though I wouldn't mind a little more private time with the yummy Quaid Moromond.
My stomach clenched. Ew. Just. Ew. Don't say stuff like that.
Prude, she said.
True. Guilty. Still.
I was about to deliver a really good come back when I felt/heard Meira call for me.
Syd!
It was so loud in my head I immediately leapt to my feet and was running up the basement stairs before I knew I moved.
Syd, please, help, he's here, he's taking me! Syd! SYD!
Panic gave me wings. I cleared the corner in the kitchen and raced up to the second floor, pounding down the hall to her door, feeling her go, knowing I was too late, losing her, reaching for her even as her mind slipped from mine.
Before I even slammed open her door, I knew Meira was already gone.
***
