Chapter 414: Liam's Arms
I couldn't take it. Couldn't. I fled from Mom, from Gram, from all of it. Couldn't bear the touch of the veil, instead threw on my jacket and boots and felt the bite of the cold as I ran out into a frosty white world almost unfamiliar, across town, through the glass door, down the stairs, across the green barrier and into Liam's waiting arms.
The cavern's power embraced me, held me as close as my Sidhe friend as he guided me into his room and sat me on the edge of his bed. The draping branches of the carved tree above me drooped as though in tune with my sadness.
Liam held me, rocked me as I cried and babbled, unable to get anything out clearly for a long time. When I finally could, I'd calmed enough to pull away and stand, to pace, feeling odd as I did, my human body an adjustment after the muscular power of my demon form.
He listened as he always listened, face creased in concern, hands clasped in his lap, hazel eyes full of worry while I dumped the whole crappy, nasty, unfair situation on him, from the fighting to Dad's ascension and my new worry I'd never see my father again.
Galleytrot padded into the room part way through, keeping his head down, stretching out at Liam's feet as if he didn't want to interfere or intrude. But when I finally turned to them both, I crouched and hugged the big hound, feeling his power slide around me too even as his wet tongue stroked over my cheek.
"Syd," he rumbled a morning thunderstorm, "I'm so sorry."
Liam grasped my hands, pulled me into his lap. I sat there, tears welling again though I was sure the well of them was almost dry and cupped my face in his hands.
"You survived," he said, "more than that. You kicked ass. And your father... Harry will be okay, Syd. And I have absolutely no doubt you'll see him again."
"Mom just made it look so... final." I snuffled, wiping my nose on the cuff of my jacket.
Liam nodded sadly. "It probably feels that way to her," he said. "I can't imagine what she's going through." He slipped his arms around me, hugging me close. "But as long as your father's effigy is still here, you can see him. Right?"
I perked a little. Liam was totally right. And I was being an emotional freak.
As usual.
I lifted my head from his shoulder to smile at him, only to meet his lips. Liam kissed me gently, with a tentative touch from his warm lips, tension in his body as though he feared I'd reject him. For a long moment I didn't, hugging him around the neck, feeling the heat of his skin, the slow and welcoming pressure of his mouth on mine.
But I finally had to pull away. Stood up. Backed off, almost tripping over Galleytrot.
"Liam," I choked. "I didn't tell you everything."
He nodded a little. "I guessed as much," he said. Blushed. "I'm sorry I kissed you, but I knew you were going to tell me something I wasn't going to like and I didn't want to miss the chance."
Sweet. Adorable and sweet and lovely and just the very best person I'd ever, ever known. And here I was, about to break his kind heart, just like Galleytrot asked me not to.
"I can't be with you," I whispered. "Not ever. And not just you." I hugged myself, turned away from him, faced the hall and the distant view of the Gate in the far chamber. "I'm immortal. I'm going to live forever. Which means I can never be with anyone who isn't."
I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised to hear him laughing. I turned back, hesitant, really expecting to see despair on his face despite his good humor. Instead he smiled at me, eyes full of sparkle.
"At least it's not about Quaid." He stood up, came to my side, hugged me again, but without need behind it. Just a hug, an offering of support.
And I took it, no matter the consequences.
"Syd," Liam whispered into my hair as he held me, "it doesn't matter. It never will. Yeah, I only have a normal lifespan to look forward to with you. But I'll always love you, even if my ghost has to haunt you for eternity."
Great. Just what I needed, another echo to worry about.
"I can't even think about it," I said. "I'm sorry, Liam. But this changes everything."
The part of me that had considered saying yes to him, throwing my feelings for Quaid away and committing to what Liam had to offer, withered and crawled into an unhappy hole inside me.
"It does," he agreed. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
I loved him for his optimism, but sometimes it really sucked.
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