Chapter 764: The Knock
I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised the Gate chose to knock that very same night. I'd barely settled Gabriel into his crib when I felt the resounding hammer of the knock echo through him and into me.
At first, I had no idea what it was. Freaked me the hell out, to be honest. But when Galleytrot's big head came up, cocked to one side, ears perked, I made the connection.
Feared Gabriel would cry again, the pressure was so immense. But my son instead came wide awake, eyes glistening, a burbling laugh erupting from him.
"Momma," he said.
Okay then.
"Syd," Galleytrot said. "I've never heard of one so young being Gatekeeper before."
Way to add to my worries, big dog. "Well," I said through gritted teeth as Sassafras purred and rubbed his head against my son, "we're just going to have to wing it and hope it works out."
I bundled him into a carrier, anxiety coming in little waves, strapping him to my chest. What I really wanted to do was put him back to bed and ignore the knock even happened. Just for tonight. We had two more, didn't we?
Instead, my son beaming his delight at being pressed to me with his arms and legs free, face first to the world, I slowly descended to the first floor, his joyful wriggling forcing me to grab the bannister for balance.
Trying to decide if I could take my son into the veil or if we should walk. Drive over in the family van?
How utterly normal that sounded to me.
And, for the first time, normal felt all kinds of wrong.
The big dog and Sassafras trailed along behind me, silent and watchful. Mom took one look at me as I entered the kitchen, Gabriel strapped to my chest, and panic rose in her face. Shenka was already half out of her chair even as Charlotte, a deep scowl pulling at her mouth and brows, came to stand in my way.
Made my decision, knowing magic was as much a part of my son's life as it was mine. And attempting to convince myself my demon grandmother would never let anything happen to either one of us. "We'll be back," I said, hoping I sounded confident. Took Charlotte's outstretched hand. Like she'd let me go anywhere without her.
Drew a breath.
And opened the veil.
Ahbi welcomed me and, with an eagerness I felt suddenly guilty about, my son. I'd failed to even try to connect with her, lost in my own little Gabrielville. Yes, Meira had crossed more than once, but she'd done so without me present. Meaning Ahbi lost the chance to meet her great-grandson.
I really sucked at this putting others first stuff.
Even as I knew without a shadow of a doubt, despite my lingering concern, we would be absolutely safe in the veil.
Stepped inside with my werefriend and the big hound before exiting, a breath later, in the Sidhe cavern under Wilding Springs.
The Gate glowed in anticipation, the power hungry, reaching for Gabriel. He reached back, Cian's soul answering the knock with a heavy boom of his own.
A shivering green line of fire ran around the edge of the Gate as, with a deep and contented sigh of settling earth, it fell still.
"I guess that's that." Phew. Honestly? So much for the no guarantee my son would be able to answer it at his tender age. It appeared, yet again, when it came to Gabriel, I had nothing to worry about.
Kind of anti-climactic, truth be told. All of my adrenaline skipped through my bloodstream, looking for a target even as I thanked Liam for this gift, this part of himself I could still hold and love.
Galleytrot sat at my feet, tail thumping the ground. "I miss it here."
I looked around, nodding. Felt traces of Liam still lingering. "Me, too," I said. I hadn't been back in months. Stopped spending alternate nights once my size became an issue and Mom's worry about me traveling in the veil made it more inconvenient. Besides, Liam's scent, his presence, really was long gone. The remaining bits and pieces were mostly memory and sad pockets of loss.
Still.
I took the opportunity to show Gabriel around, keeping my eyes from the cleanly scrubbed spot in front of the Gate someone took the time to bleach. Removing all physical, visible traces of Liam's blood.
Didn't matter. My mind could still see him lying there, Ameline standing over him. With a gun. And the blood, so much of it. On her. On the floor.
Then on me as I held him and tried to keep him with me-
No. Not tonight. Tonight would be about happy memories. For my son.
And his.
I crossed to the hall, turned left into the bedroom. Laid Gabriel beside me on the bed as Galleytrot and Charlotte waited outside, backs turned, giving us privacy.
Whispered stories to him of his father and my love. Let him feel as much of Liam as I could muster as we curled up together on the bed I'd only slept in a few months, though it still felt like home after all this time. The cavern's magic kept the dust away, the air scented with the earth but nothing musty, only fresh and spring-like.
Gabriel's normal giggling was silent, his hazel eyes wide, crackling with green fire, his entire attention locked on me. How much did he understand? If Galleytrot was to be believed, everything. Cian's grown soul would process and pass on all of it.
Freaky. And yet, so very amazing I was able to do this before Liam's memory faded with too much time.
When lying there became too sad, tears pooling on the quilt beneath my cheek as I fought to catch my breath, I stood, hugging Gabriel close, carrying him out and into the hall again. Galleytrot groaned as he stood, shook himself, followed to the archive and Liam's desk.
Neat and tidy, as he left it, a single book open beside his dark laptop, one of my hair elastics used as a bookmark. A few notes scrawled in his terrible handwriting on a notepad beside the keyboard. My usual chair was a heavy, carved thing with a deep purple seat, upholstered in velvet. I'd never sat in Liam's before.
Sank into it, sighed as the chair seemed to hug me, leather padded cushion firm but comfortable.
Weird, the view from here. How a small change in perspective could alter everything. I suddenly felt like Liam was here with me, in the chair. Working still, lifting his head to smile at me as I came through the door.
Made me smile, too. Through more tears.
Gabriel leaned suddenly forward and I lunged to support him. His little fingers raced over the page of the book, the words I couldn't read, before he sat back and burbled.
Whatever he said, I couldn't make out. But he seemed content.
I stood, carried him into the stacks of the archive. Showed him the endless books. Ran one hand over the spines as Gabriel continued to stare in silence.
The Sidhe cavern sighed and embraced my son as we left the archive. It felt almost greedy to hold him. There had been so much grief here of late, it was nice to feel the shift. By the time I finished the tour, the living wards eased up their attention, satisfied he was whole. And belonged to the cavern.
Through it all, Gabriel remained saucer eyed, silent, mouth open. When I left the archive, stepping back into the entry at the front of the cavern, he suddenly giggled, both hands pressed to his mouth.
And the Gate sang.
Glowed in a flare of green fire.
Swung open.
I spun and stared into the Sidhe realm, hands shaking. Thank goodness Gabriel was back in his papoose. The whole cavern rang like a bell, the music growing louder as I approached the open Gate, Charlotte tense beside me, Galleytrot relaxed in counterpoint.
Gabriel reached out, one chubby hand waving, while Thalion and Fergus appeared on the other side.
I hadn't talked to Liam's grandfather since the night I discovered I was pregnant. Seeing him had almost crushed me. Liam's face, Liam's voice. Not Liam. This time, it hurt-hell, yeah-but Gabriel's steady, sweet power cut the edge and made looking in Fergus's hazel eyes not as painful as I thought it would be.
"He's able to answer, I see." Thalion's smooth voice was light, almost kind. Sidhe were notorious for their lack of empathy. But he'd softened since we'd met and, when he smiled at Gabriel, I knew there was real affection behind his stunning face.
"He is." I stepped close to the veil between our planes. Fergus made baby talk while Thalion smiled at me.
"He's... different." I had to bring it up. Despite Galleytrot's assurances. Despite the brief moment Sonja told me he looked like Liam. I needed confirmation. "Older than he should be. Maturing quickly."
Both Fergus and Thalion nodded, but it was my son's great-grandfather who spoke.
"We all did," he said. "Trust me, everything is fine." Laughed. "Let me guess: he doesn't cry. Can speak already. And he's what, a month old?"
I nodded, feeling the last of my tension ease.
"Excellent development," Thalion said. Was that pride in his voice? "But I expect nothing less from you. And Her Highness."
Shaylee preened. Bratski.
"You will find he develops rapidly in his first few weeks," Fergus said. "Up to three times faster than a normal baby. It will slow, in time."
That almost made me sad. So much sweet infantness I'd be missing.
Sigh.
And yet. Phew.
"Thank you." I kissed Gabriel's head. "Good to know." Realized this wasn't just about me. "How are things across the realm?"
Thalion's shoulders shrugged elegantly, long, silver hair falling in a perfect spill of silk. "Quiet," he said. "There are still moments of unhappiness between Queen Aoilainn and the Unseelie monarchs, but we manage."
I could tell from the soft sarcasm in his voice just who was causing the trouble.
Shaylee snorted in my head. Mother.
No kidding.
"We shall pass along the good news to Their Majesties," Fergus said, stepping back from the Gate. "Both about your healthy son and the Gate's safety." His smile was Liam's smile. "It's good to see you, Syd."
You too, my love.
I waved goodbye as the portal swung shut, feeling Gabriel's power connecting to it, tied up with it until it finally sighed closed, the song silent to the ear but still vibrating inside my son.
But speaking to the Sidhe prince just reinforced my need to finally get on with it. Things might have been settled in the Fey realm-and I was happy about that-but I had my own threads to tie together into neat little bows of revenge and hate. And though the thought of putting my son at risk by leaving him for any length of time made me want to throw up, I had to move on.
Ameline.
I'm coming for you, bitch.
***
