Chapter 541: His Limit
I ran all the way to Coven Hall, Charlotte right behind me, wanting to ride the veil, but hearing Mom's voice in my head, begging me to play it cool even as the terror I felt at Ameline's cryptic note drove spikes of panic through my chest.
The last time she'd contacted me about someone I cared about, I'd found my demon grandmother dead in her apartments and was accused of her murder. So I didn't think anyone would blame me for the blinding fear gripping me as I raced after Liam.
Only to crash into his back as he stopped to allow Tippy through the door ahead of him. Liam turned, frowning a little, hazel eyes flat as his strawberry blonde hair hung over his forehead. But his gaze lightened as though he only then realized I was there. He reached for me as I staggered, concern rising in his face in answer to what had to have been open terror on mine.
"Syd." He hugged me gently before letting me go, the old Liam back again. Now that I knew Ameline was involved, I immediately suspected she had something to do with his actions this morning. "What's wrong?"
I touched his cheek with trembling fingers, feeling how cold and clammy he was, internally snorting at my last thought. Like she'd be so petty to try to turn Liam against me. I knew she had to have bigger fish to reel in. But his physical condition amped up my worry. "Are you feeling okay?"
He snuffled a little, nodding. "Just getting a cold," he said. "I'm fine."
A cold. Right. But when I tried to probe him with magic, he gently but firmly blocked me again.
"I'm fine, Syd," he said. Smiled a little, the smile I-sigh-loved. "You worry too much, you know that?"
My fear level dropped a bit as he slung one arm around my shoulders, the familiar scent of earth and his laundry calming me.
Right.
We walked over the entry together, through the magic doorway to Coven Hall's main corridor. I waved at him as he left me, missing the warmth of his arm over my shoulder, wondering where his coldness from breakfast had gone, but happy it seemed to have passed. I watched as he moved through a door on his way to class, leaving me to stand there and fret over him before just making it through the closing portal to my own class before it sealed shut.
As hard as I tried to track Liam down all day, he evaded me, and I wondered if Tippy had something to do with it after all. She was nice enough in lab, chattering on about how amazing she'd be as my second, but the moment we were set free, she latched onto my Sidhe-friend?-and took off. And though I was sure she wouldn't be so stupid to use magic on Liam, why else had he made such a sudden about face?
Because I'd been a jerk about his mom. Time to face the fact I could only reject him so many times, prod him and try to-gulp-control him in the name of keeping him safe before he'd had enough. Liam was sweet, kind and gentle. But even he had to have his limit.
Maybe I'd just hit it.
Misery, thy name is Syd.
After one last failed attempt to talk to him, finding his dorm room empty that night and not wanting to think about the fact he was probably with-didn't want to think about it-her, I found a seat on a bench at the edge of the Yard and tried to quell the returning fear squeezing my chest so tight I could barely breathe.
Power whooshed, air parting only feet from me, discharging a handful of black-robed Enforcers into the Yard. One of them turned, chocolate eyes meeting mine and, before I knew it, Quaid waved to the departing group and made his way toward me.
Just what I needed. A Quaid lecture.
My day would be complete.
At least he didn't dive into accusing me of looking for trouble right away. Nope. He lulled me into a false sense of security by frowning as he sat and taking my hand.
"You look like you need a shoulder," he said.
Normally, this would cue tears and hopeless sobbing. At least, from the old me.
Okay, maybe for the new me, too. I felt my eyes prickle with tears, my throat tighten, but I held off, rigid and tense. To his credit, Quaid didn't pull away, sitting back with my hand still in his strong, warm one, letting his power out ever so gently to wrap around mine. My demon welcomed him, pulled him close as I fell back into the familiar circle of his arms.
"Rough day?" Quaid's deep, rumbling voice vibrated between us.
I'd missed his voice. His magic. The power of his embrace. The way his body felt when we-
Oh, Syd.
I shook off the sadness rising at what could have been and answered him. "You could say that," I said. "You too?"
He shrugged, resting his cheek on my hair. "Yes," he said. "And no."
It had been so long since I'd just sat in a comfortable silence, I actually felt a little angry when he spoke again.
"So what's up?" His thumb gently rubbed the back of my hand, arm tightening around my shoulder.
Yeah, like I was falling for the trap that would lead to his inevitable judging. "Nothing I can't handle," I said, more sharply than I intended. But he hadn't had my back in the past, not the recent past, anyway. And I wasn't in the mood to hear him pontificate about how much of a screw up he thought I was.
Instead of the jab about being a trouble magnet I expected, Quaid sighed. "I'm sorry, you know," he said into my hair. "About how many times I've doubted you."
This was new. "You should be." Nice, Syd.
Quaid's chuckle made my demon purr and stretch her power toward him. I shut her down. No way was I ending up in his bed just because she thought he was being nice.
For once.
"Just tell me," he said. "I swear I won't say a word."
Against my better judgment, knowing I was making a colossal mistake and would end up calling him all kinds of mean names in my head and likely out loud because of it, I dumped my worries on him. All of them. About Ameline, Venner, Liam, Sonja. Ms. Spaft. All of it. Quaid was good to his word, keeping his damned mouth shut until I wound down with Mom's warning.
And my own fear for the coven, whispered in the dark.
"What if I ruin it for the family, Quaid?" I met his eyes at last, tears welling, but not embarrassed by them. "I've never had a choice, have I? But maybe I have." I sniffed, wiped at the moist track down my cheek. "Maybe you've been right all along and if I hadn't butted my nose in, none of this would have happened."
Quaid let out a gusty sigh and turned his body toward me, releasing his hold so he could grip my upper arms and shake me, ever so gently. "Syd," he said. "Stop being an idiot."
I tried to pull away, but he was too strong, enfolding me in his arms, pressing me against his broad chest, the scent of him all rich and lovely filling my world until I just let him hold me.
"You're the bravest person I've ever met," he said, shocking me right down to the tips of my toes. "And I promise you, no matter what happens, if you need me, for anything, you just ask. And I'll be there."
Big words. "Until you can't be," I said.
He was silent a moment before he spoke again, voice thick with emotion. "Of all the things I regret most in my life," he said, "saying no to you is the worst." I wasn't about to encourage him, but then again, this supportive Quaid disarmed me enough I stayed where I was and listened. "I've seen things, Syd," he went on, words dropping low and quiet in the darkness, "things I can't even describe." His chuckle warmed me, sent zinging sparks through my blood. "I've even made my own trouble a few times." Hot lips found my temple, the heat of his breath adding to the thrill of fire coursing all over me. "I will never let anything slide again." More sadness. He was running the gamut of emotions with me tonight.
"Thank you," I whispered. Cleared my throat. Tried again. "I'm really worried about Liam."
Quaid's whole body tensed and he half pushed me away before his head dropped, shoulders slumping under his black robe. Way to ruin the connection, Hayle. "I know," he said, yet another surprise from Mr. Sarcasm. "And from the sounds of things, you should be. Have you told your mother?"
"I don't have any proof, remember? Just a mysterious note. I know it's from her. But that 'A' could be interpreted otherwise." I missed Quaid's warmth as he turned away, gaze lost in the distance.
"Then we'll find some." He turned back, smiled, a real smile, not the smirk I always wanted to wipe from his handsome face.
I have no idea why I brought her up. Except maybe with Liam hanging between us, it reminded me. "How's Payten?" I said it softly, gently even, but my mention of his tawny-haired "friend" made him frown.
"I don't know," he said. "We're not together. And I've been away on assignment."
I wondered how long the situation would last, now that he was back.
My question finally shattered the last of our togetherness. Quaid stood, offered his hands and I accepted them, feeling a bit better at least, if guilty for wrecking a perfectly good moment. We had so few of those, he and I.
I felt him hesitate before he bent over me, lips brushing across mine. I could have had more. Could have gone with him back to his room, spent the night with him, allowed my demon to have her way. But I wasn't that kind of girl and the agreement we'd had, to just love each other, felt thin and cold there in the darkness.
"Keep me posted," he whispered over my lips before leaving me, disappearing into the Yard, while I hugged myself and wondered if I'd ever allow myself to get over him.
***
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