Chapter 691: Old Friend
I wanted to go to my room and climb under the covers. To hide from the pain I felt, the slow and unrelenting crushing of my heart. To push aside the promise I'd made to sit down and talk to Shenka when I was done with Gram. But as I paused at the bottom of the stairs, I felt someone cross the wards before hearing the sound of knocking on the kitchen door.
Retreat still sounded like the best plan. Shenka was there to pick up the slack and even if it was Tallah all over again, I knew my second had it handled despite my fears the night before. But I needed the distraction, longed for something to break the heavy weight of grief I carried. And so, despite myself and my desire to escape into solitude, I found my feet carrying me down the hall and into the sunlit kitchen.
Shenka turned to meet my eyes, hers hooded in dislike just as I shifted my gaze from her to the open door. And the young woman standing on the other side.
Mia Dumont's wavering smile almost did me in. That, paired with her tears and the soft cry of desperation she uttered was surely aimed to crush my already fragile hold on my empathy.
I went to her, embraced her as she shook in my arms, guided her inside and to a chair at the table. Avoiding Shenka's glares of irritation, I held Mia's hands as she pulled herself under control. She smiled again through lashes thick with mascara, eyeliner forming twin rivers of dark pigment down her pale cheeks.
"Oh, Syd," she said. "I'm sorry. So silly of me. It's just so nice to see you."
I turned to Shenka who tossed a box of tissues at me. It thudded into my chest, a dash of energy behind it. Okay, I knew my second didn't like Mia, but she never told me why.
And now really wasn't the time.
Considering Mia once hated my guts and blamed me for the loss of her family magic to Andre, tried to have me burned at the stake for my involvement, it was amazing she and I were even remotely considered friends. After all, she'd lost her crap over the theft of the Dumont family power. Not that she'd really had her life together in the first place. But she'd shattered completely, reduced to the weak and fragile witch who now sat before me.
But I'd known Mia for a long time now, since she called herself Pain. My abnormal, unpowered Goth friend, a long way from the witch whose magic had been sealed away by her own mother to protect her from Odette. Leaving her brother Quaid to suffer at the hands of the Moromonds.
I would not think about Quaid.
Would. Not.
"I hate to dump all of this on you," Mia said, squeezing my fingers while Shenka made a strangled noise behind me. "But I don't know who else to turn to." She pulled me a little closer, cold lips pressing to my cheek. "I can always count on you, Syd."
She could. She was my friend, no matter what happened. Even if Shenka didn't agree.
Mia continued to ignore my second, like she always did, focused completely on me. In fact, Mia rarely acknowledged anyone outside herself. Made me wonder if the cracks in her personality somehow damaged her focus. Though her selfish absorption could have been one of the reasons Shenka disapproved of her.
Though it wasn't like Shenka to care.
I pushed away my worries about my second and listened as Mia went on.
"I'm worried about my family." I almost winced, afraid she referred to the Dumonts, only to understand a moment later. "They are lovely, don't get me wrong." She released one of my hands to dab at her face with a tissue. "But I'm not as strong as I was, and they are so weak."
Ah. She meant the small "coven" she built from the ruin of her old life. A handful of witches booted from the Dumont family after Andre took over, beneath his notice and without enough magic to protest their expulsion.
"What if I'm leading them astray?" Mia's ice blue eyes, Ameline's eyes, widened in worry, her face reminding me of a porcelain doll or an anime character come to life. "I'm doing my best, but I want to make sure they are happy."
Guilt sizzled around my edges, the need to help my friend overwhelming me with its sting. I didn't blame Mia for her reaction. Understood she was doomed long before I met her, as a baby. Too young to understand, spending her whole life with part of herself missing. Being thrown into that horrible family as an impressionable young woman already damaged by years of loss. I was amazed she'd stood up at all, especially against Ameline, when Mia tried to claim the right to lead the Dumont family.
It wasn't her fault she failed.
I offered once before, told her I'd welcome her into the coven with open arms, accept her as a Hayle, give her purpose again. And meant it. Maybe this was the perfect time to renew my pledge to her.
If you welcome this creature, Shenka's mental voice cut through my thoughts, grant her a place with our coven, anger crawled over me as she snarled her fury, I'm leaving.
What is your problem? I turned to glare at Shenka who scowled right back.
She didn't respond, simply turned her back and went to stand at the window, shoulders stiff.
Seriously?
Fine. Whatever.
"I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job." The words sounded hollow in my ears as I turned back, but Mia beamed at me.
"You think so?" She puffed up, as though she needed my approval.
She was doomed.
We talked a few more minutes, Mia rattling on through thought after thought, mind flitting from idea to impulse. I shrank from her emotionally, guilt more powerful than ever as I watched her spiral into insignificance right before my eyes.
Shenka finally spun and joined us, pulling out Mia's chair with a single, harsh jerk of energy.
"Forgive us," she said in a grating tone, "we have preparations to make for conclave. If you'd be so kind."
Mia acted as if Shenka hadn't spoken, rising to her feet like it was her decision to go.
"I really have to leave," she said, hugging me, kissing both of my cheeks. She felt cold, almost vampire-before-dinner cold. "So much to do before the Councils arrive."
I hesitated. "You're coming to conclave?" Only coven leaders were invited.
Oh, right. She thought she was one.
"I'll see you there," she said, eyes bright, still with tracks on her cheeks from her makeup. She waved with an airy smile, letting herself out and I watched from the open door as she drifted down the driveway, paused to look both ways. Talked to herself in a singsong voice a moment before turning and floating away to the right.
I had no idea where she was going, but she clearly wasn't here anymore.
As I turned to give Shenka hell for being so rude, she stomped into my space and shook a finger at me.
"You listen to me, Sydlynn Hayle," she said, the family magic crackling between us. "You made me responsible for the nurturing of this coven. As your second, it is my job to ensure the happiness of each and every family member."
"I'm still leader," I growled back. "And I say who joins and who doesn't."
Our first fight. Okay then. At least she was standing up to me finally instead of going all quiet and weird.
Though as her power trembled on the edge of our connection, I almost wished she shut it.
"I've worked too damned hard to bring balance to this family for you to barge in with your crazy-ass refugee plan and tear our coven apart." Shenka's eyes snapped with blue magic, a testament to her anger. "You want a healthy, strong family to come home to after you've saved the world? Then you stop being such an idiot about Mia Dumont." She shivered. "Syd, seriously. Even if we weren't facing bigger issues, even if there wasn't a giant battle to the death coming, I still wouldn't want her or her ragtag band of nutjobs in this family. And neither should you."
It was hard to hear Shenka, so hard. I wanted to save Mia-
"You can't rescue everyone," Shenka said, finally calming, resting her hands on my shoulders. "It's not your fault and I want you to stop beating yourself up over people and events that had nothing to do with you." She let out a long, gusty sigh. "We need you to be focused, to keep your attention on what's happening out there." She jabbed a finger toward the door. "While we maintain the stability and quiet you need when you're here." Another jab, this time at the floor. "Inviting Mia and her brood into this coven is inviting trouble and strife." Shenka shook her head, glossing black hair waving around her. "I know you're buying her 'all's forgiven and let's be friends' routine because you want to believe you can save her, that she's salvageable. But Syd. I'm here to tell you I can see right through her little act." Shenka dropped her hands. "She will destroy you if she can. And there's nothing of the girl you knew left to save."
Um, what? "How do you know that?" Mia wasn't lying to me. She forgave me.
Didn't she?
"You walk around with your head in the clouds most of the time," Shenka said, now with a wry twist to her lips. "And I can hardly blame you, with all the mess you have on your plate. But I'm down here with the rest of the witching world, and I pay attention to details." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I have sources who've chatted up her little coven. And they were more than happy to badmouth you and this family."
More sadness. More anger.
"And so," Shenka said, driving in the last word, "was Mia."
I bobbed a nod. I had to trust Shenka.
"I just..." I raised my hands, dropped them as my heart, already beaten black and blue today, cracked a little further.
"I know," Shenka said. "You care so much. Too much." She turned and left the kitchen, pausing at the door to the basement for a parting shot. "But it's time to toughen up and move the hell on."
Not even the sunlight could warm the chill passing through me.
Would have been nice of her to tell me just how to move on.
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