Chapter 801: Familiar Magic
I sat on the side of my bed, looking out the window into the quiet street, the buzzing streetlight below me oddly comforting. I'd tried to sleep after returning home, put Gabriel to bed with Charlotte who met me at the front door after Sass, Galleytrot and I strolled home in the sharpening night air. Her massive scowl told me I was in horrible trouble as she took my son from me.
Okay, so I didn't exactly put him to bed.
Snort.
Galleytrot and Sassafras naturally abandoned me for her room, leaving me alone. Which was fine, it really was. I had a hot shower, pulled on my favorite robe. Had a little cry. Not much. Just a pathetic little spill of tears I held over from the Gate.
From Liam.
And felt my heart ease at last.
Wrapped myself in the love in my house, the people sleeping there. Shenka and Charlotte, Galleytrot and Sass. Gram and Demetrius. All of us, happy just to be home.
But sleep wouldn't come. My mind struggled with belief. That Ameline was really dead. That Gabriel was safe. That I'd won.
I'd actually won.
Imagine that.
Even the Brotherhood were crippled, Liander Belaisle on the run. And with the help of the Steam Union, I hoped they would never be a threat again.
I'd be ready, waiting and able to take them out the moment they were stupid enough to try it.
But my disbelief ran deeper than that. My family was whole, Mom and Dad, Gram and Demetrius. Meira was Ruler. Sebastian and Alison safe. Uncle Frank, Sunny. With the possibility they could be healed as Sebastian was healed as his clan built on what I'd supplied them. I was holding out on doing the same for Sunny's family, if only to see where Sebastian's ended up before risking the vampires I loved.
Just in case I'd screwed up after all.
Despite that reservation, the future was so bright I didn't know if I could stand it.
Now that the Gate was sealed, I felt like the last thread was tied up. My fate was fulfilled-okay, for now-and the coven was safe.
I should have been jumping for joy.
So why did I feel so empty?
Longing ached inside me, despair. The phrase, "No fair," echoed in my head.
Why did I have to win, but lose all at the same time?
We feel it too, my vampire sent, soft and mournful.
Shaylee wept quietly, though her strength rose and hugged me.
We know what we're missing, my demon snarled. And we're never going to have him.
I felt the thread between Quaid and I. The one I'd seen, the day Liam died. The tie keeping the two of us together.
Reached for it. We need to be free, I sent. And so does he.
They sighed and grumbled and wept. But agreed.
Heart trembling, I reached out to sever the connection.
The very moment I felt him in the backyard.
We don't have to go, my vampire sent.
Yes, my demon sent. We do.
Agreed. Shaylee's crying stopped. If only to say goodbye.
I went to my door, opened it. Drifted through the hall, down the stairs. To the back hall.
My hand hesitated on the handle to the door, pushed it open.
The grass was cool on my feet, damp with dew in the first of September night, the motion sensitive light over the door already on. Illuminating the back yard.
Casting a cool, bluish glow over Quaid. He stood waiting for me, hands in his jean pockets, leather jacket creaking over his shoulders. His dark waves fell across his cheeks, hiding his eyes from view as my body cast a shadow between him and the light.
It wasn't until I stopped and actually reached for him with my power I felt it.
Quaid.
Not Enforcer Tinder.
Just. Quaid.
And my heart.
My heart leaped.
"What did you do?" The words breathed out of me as I tried to inhale and exhale all at the same time.
Quaid ran one hand through his hair, head down, power pulsing softly, quietly around him. "I saw Miriam," he said, deep voice full of light. "And Harry. They looked so happy, Syd."
I nodded, stupidly, mouth open.
"I'd already made my choice. But they sealed it for me." Quaid's shoulder's shifted, as though he bore some uncomfortable burden. "I resigned."
Duh.
"I should never have joined the order in the first place." Quaid's anger finally showed through, poking out of his magic.
With a face attached.
"Quaid," I said. "You love being an Enforcer. Don't let her ruin that for you."
Payten.
How could I live with this agony? And why, oh why, was I trying to send him away again?
Because, if he had any doubt, I would sever the connection. Still held it carefully in my magic. Ready to let him go.
Listened.
"She lied to me," he said. "Tried to convince me you thought you were better than me. That you didn't love me." He shook his head. "I shouldn't have listened. But, Syd, I was so proud. And I have so much of my life to make up for." He finally met my eyes. "Or I thought I did. That the sins of the people who raised me were my responsibility. And that I had to redeem myself before I could be worthy of you."
I was going to sob. Held it in with sheer will.
"I let myself believe you didn't need me," he said. "That you were better off without me. Only to have my love for you punch me in the gut over and over again." Quaid's voice stuttered, fell quiet before he rushed on. "It's not Payten's fault. I didn't lie to you, we weren't a couple. But I did... Syd, I did sleep with her, that first summer."
"I know," I said, somehow managing to sound calm despite my magic quivering around the thread of power keeping us together and my need to run to him. To hug him and never let him go. "Payten told me everything. Including about Ameline."
Quaid's surprise was sharp, painful. And then, sadness took over.
"Pender is putting her on trial," he said. "For treason."
"I'm sorry." And I really was. I could at last feel sympathy for the girl. Knowing how much I loved Quaid myself.
And would, I now understood, do anything to have him.
Released the thread, let it live. Wanted it to.
No matter how tonight ended.
"I've been looking for a family," he said. "But I needed to grow the hell up enough to know I already had one. That I threw it away." He choked. "Threw you away. Because I couldn't believe I could ever make amends for Batsheva and Dominic. Odette. Clare and David." All the hurt, all the weight, I saw it now, the burden he carried from the people who were supposed to love him. Who used him instead.
The heart and soul of an honorable man, crippled by his need to prove he wasn't them.
"And Mia." Quaid finally sobbed himself, but just once, abrupt and harsh. "I couldn't even save my own sister."
"Quaid," I whispered. "No one could have. She didn't want to be saved."
He shook his head, but not to deny my words. "That was the moment I realized I couldn't be an Enforcer anymore. Because the very order I wanted to be my family killed my only sibling."
Oh, Quaid.
He looked up again, chocolate eyes brimming with tears, tracking down his face, into his stubble, dripping onto the dark fabric of his t-shirt. "I just didn't know how to leave them. Where to go. Because you married Liam and then he died... and I knew you wouldn't want me. Not after everything."
We had the worst timing ever.
"Quaid," I said, "this isn't just your fault, you know." My hands fisted, thumped against my thighs in agitation. "I didn't believe you. Never trusted you, not completely. And I'll always regret the fact I chose to listen to someone else's truth instead of yours." He didn't say anything as I let my hands fall open, shook the cramping from them as I went on. "This is the hardest part," I said, tightening chest squeezing the words from me. "Knowing Fate manipulated us." I shook my head. "I'm not excusing what I did. But if I hadn't married Liam, I wouldn't have Gabriel. And I think, despite the fact I love his little self so much I would choose to die than have him leave me again, he is necessary for another reason."
Damned Fate and her meddling.
Quaid nodded slowly. Ran one hand over his face. "I do understand that now," he said. "As hard as it is to swallow. We had to come to this place, like this."
We did, didn't we? Almost made me feel better.
"I thought I'd be alone forever," he said. "It was keeping me from acting. From taking the step I needed to. Until I saw your mom and dad." His lips smiled, cheeks still wet. "And how happy they were. I knew, if there was even a chance, I had to try." He lifted one hand. Dropped it to his side with a thud. "Try to find happy." He let out a long, shaking breath. "I know I've been an ass, no matter what Fate's intentions," he said. Laughed through his sorrow. "I'm amazed you haven't kicked my butt before now."
I choked out my own laugh.
Didn't answer.
Held my breath and my tongue for fear of breaking the spell of the quiet dark and his need to speak.
"Coven Leader Hayle," he said. "I find myself without a family. I am a powerful witch of all elements in good standing with the High Council." Breathe, Syd. "I would humbly ask to be allowed to return to the Hayle coven where I wish to remain all the days of my life."
Syd. Breathe.
He hesitated as I tried to draw air.
"Even if that means we can only ever be friends," he said in the space of my silence. "All I want is to be with you, Syd. Because, you're my happy."
Exhale.
Inhale.
I crossed to him, floating on air, my alter egos sighing, stretching outward, their power wrapping around him, pulling him to us.
His mouth was hungry, his lips hot, tongue desperate as he breathed into my lungs and pinned me tightly against his broad chest, our power mingling, tying together more tightly than ever.
As I pulled free, panting for breath even as I longed for his again, I filled him with the family magic, its power going eagerly to him, as though it missed him as much as I had.
"Third time's the charm." He chuckled, shrugged. Kissed my cheeks, my forehead, my lips, gently. Oh, so gently. "Syd."
"Quaid." There were no words as the thread tying us together since we were born, set ablaze the day we met, the power binding us sealed forever.
I stepped back, taking his hand, calm and at peace for the first time since I could remember. Smiled up at him, tugged a little.
"Come inside," I said. "We have daughters to make."
The light in the back yard flickered off as the door swung softly shut behind us.
***
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