Chapter 689: Unbroken Bond
I tried to count the months since I'd seen him as I stepped outside into the cool grass and deep of evening. Unable to process how long it had been, all the while not really caring the moment my eyes settled on him.
His hands bulged in the pockets of his jeans, fisted inside the denim, dark head down, wavy hair longer than I'd ever seen it hanging over his face. His broad shoulders rounded inward, black t-shirt wrinkled over his wide chest, the scuffed toes of his leather boots damp from dew.
I had no control over myself, the way my breath caught as our power linked. How his magic, reluctant in the instant I saw him, surged in answer to mine and wrapped me up in the heat of his power. It was so hard not to run to him, to throw my arms around him. Now that I understood the connection we shared, it was all the more painful. I knew I'd carry this aching longing the rest of my days.
My demon moaned her unhappiness as I forced myself to a halt a few feet from him, arms tight to myself to keep from grabbing him even as his familiar scent drifted toward me on a soft breeze.
Traitor air, carrying temptation my way.
When Quaid finally looked up, I almost lost myself. So. Close. But the flicker of agitation in his eyes, the tension in his tall body, was enough to hold me back.
To make me wonder.
"Nice to see you." I wanted it to come out with sarcasm. Intended it to sting, to bite, my longing driving me to hurt him for the choices he'd made, the pain he'd caused. Instead, I whispered it, heart on fire for him.
Only him.
"I thought it was best if I stayed away." His voice growled low, gravel over a thick throat. No snark from him either, nor the smirk I expected.
"You've been avoiding me." I release the tension in my arms, hopelessness making me want to cry all over again. Why did he have to show up, tonight of all nights? When I was already weak from tears and unable to commit to letting him go?
Quaid's shoulders twitched as he half-turned from me, the chocolate deliciousness of him pulling back. "Have you made your decision yet?"
Oh. Boy.
I could have sank into despair, but felt a twinge of temper spark and seized on it, my old friend, my faithful companion and protector of my heart. Better anger than grief.
Always.
"I wasn't aware it was any of your business." Crackle. Pop. Damn it.
He looked up, no anger, just the same agitation, deep and swirling, feeding his magic, his sorrow.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
Choke. "So am I," I said, anger falling away. Not like I could stay mad at him, considering how I felt.
How neither of us thought we had a choice.
Our gazes locked, held. For a long moment we stood there, just staring at each other, so many words unsaid, so much love held, trapped, excruciating between us. My yearning grew, but my feet remained anchored by the knowledge he wasn't here to tell me he'd changed his mind.
He was here to say goodbye.
Quaid groaned softly, power surging around me again and closed the gap between us in a rush. His mouth felt hot, his breath in my lungs and I clung to him, to the burning kiss and the hardness of his body.
His hands curled into my hair, pulling me closer, deeper, as I lifted myself from the ground, wrapping my legs around his waist, hugging him with my entire body, the pressure of his need tight against my own.
I felt him moving, didn't care where this led us, as long as my bed was our destination.
As he climbed the stairs, panting over my lips, hands pulling at my clothing, I unwound my heart and power and welcomed him home, the door to my room closing softly behind us.
***
Dark eyes studied me, shining waves of hair hanging over my hand. I tried a smile as the morning sun lit his beautiful eyes even as my lower lip trembled.
Quaid kissed me, first my lips, then my forehead, pulling me closer until it seemed his body was mine. I trembled against him for a moment until my sadness passed. When he finally released me, we both smiled this time.
Soft. Sweet. Delicious.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you, too." I kissed him, tried to believe this wouldn't be over soon. Let myself believe Quaid and I were together. Forever. "Breakfast?"
He stretched out his long body, the muscles in his chest rippling, pentagram tattoo dancing on his tanned skin. When his chocolate eyes met mine, dark with passion, I felt my pulse increase.
"I'm starving," he said.
And devoured me.
***
I loved how he didn't flinch from the heat of the shower, though I didn't have the ability to really feel it anymore. When we finally descended to the kitchen, his fingers wound through mine, I actually started to believe it. Not just imagining, but believing Quaid made his own choice.
And now mine was simple.
The shocked look on Shenka's face flashed quickly away as she smiled and welcomed Quaid, but I could tell from the tilt of her head and the questioning look she gave me behind his back she was as surprised by this turn of events as I was.
Sassafras's tail thrashed against the table-top as he glared at our visitor with flashing amber eyes.
"Quaid," he growled.
"Sassafras." Quaid didn't try to touch the demon cat, just nodded gravely to him as though understanding exactly what my furry protector was thinking.
What I started thinking when reality hit.
Was he here to stay, or to break my heart again?
Demetrius sat at the end of the table, scooping in a fork full of scrambled eggs. His big, blue eyes smiled at Quaid as he waved. But it was Gram's reaction that caught everyone's attention.
She lurched to her feet, face twisted in fury, frail body shaking. My grandmother jabbed one sharp-nailed finger at the Enforcer trainee and snarled like a caged animal.
"How dare you!" She lunged at him, pushing against his broad chest, so weak now she didn't budge him even a little as he gently grasped her hands to stop her from pounding on his broad chest. "Betrayer of your heart, betrayer of your order!" She pulled free, staggering, almost falling as Shenka flew to save her.
Gram pushed my second away, wavering as she glared at Quaid, wiping her mouth with the back of one wrinkled hand.
"Get out," she hissed. "And never come back."
"Gram." I didn't mean to be so harsh. I really didn't. I loved my grandmother, knew how much pain she had to be feeling.
She turned on me, then, pounding her thighs with her fists as she shrieked a curse. "What were you thinking?" Gram shook her head with so much violence she almost fell over again, swatting at Shenka who continued to try to help. "What were you thinking, you stupid, stupid girl?" Gram's face fell, collapsed, tears rising in her faded blue eyes, coursing down the deep creases in her skin as she began to sob.
Demetrius rose slowly, calmly, and took Gram's hand. She didn't seem to notice as he patted her shoulder gently before turning to me. I could tell from the lucidity in his gaze he'd come back to us as he sometimes did, and wondered why he'd managed at this moment. Yes, I'd forgiven him the things he'd done to me, knowing now he was brainwashed and tortured by the Brotherhood. But I'd never really considered him compassionate.
Until now.
"Forgive her," Demetrius said with a small, apologetic smile for Quaid. "Ethie just needs to rest."
I stood frozen, wanting to reach out to her, knowing I'd be rejected as Demetrius slowly led my sobbing grandmother from the room, leaving us all in heavy silence.
My happy hope shattered into dust.
"I shouldn't have come." Quaid turned, headed for the back door. I went after him immediately to the sound of Sassafras sighing. I caught the love of my life as he strode in long, thudding strides out the back door and to the yard.
The thrum of the Wild Hunt, its sleeping magic stirred by the disturbance in our power, fell still as Shaylee soothed the ride back to sleep.
I wished I was so easy to calm.
"Why did you come here last night?" I jerked Quaid around to face me, fingers digging into the bare skin of his arm.
I had to ask. And yet, I didn't want to know the answer.
Coward.
Quaid spun toward me, mouth twitching, jaw working, his power bubbling with frustration and anger and grief until he shook his head.
"I don't know," he said. "I wanted to stay away, Syd." Quaid's voice rumbled through me, his words hurting worse than any blow. "I tried so hard. But I heard the Council was here, that you're being forced to choose and I just couldn't..." He turned from me, a curse bursting from his lips. "I don't know!"
My magic flowed around him as I pulled him back to me. Quaid finally met my eyes, body tilting toward me as I did my best to force myself into quiet.
"It's not your fault," I said. "It's destiny."
He didn't answer, just stood there, lost. As lost as I felt.
"I will always love you," I said. "I have no choice. Just like I know you love me and will forever." That much was true. Absolutely true, the magic inside us confirming my words. "But love can't keep us happy, can it?" He flinched. "Not if one of us feels trapped." Another twitch from his broad shoulders. "Not if it means sacrificing what you really want."
Quaid's hands lifted, as though to grasp onto me. But he didn't try, just stood there, heart and soul in his eyes.
"Syd," he whispered. "I don't want to hurt you. I want to stay."
Hope bloomed anew, found a small, fluttering home inside.
"I'm here," I said. "And we have time." We didn't, I knew that, now. The Council would be on my back, pushing hard from here on in. "If you ask me to wait, I'll find a way."
I hated the bond for making me weak. Any other guy, he'd be kicked to the curb long ago. But Quaid, our fate, our power... I meant every word.
He finally shook his head, hair swinging as he relaxed, came to me, hugged me. I savored the heat of his skin, the scent and touch of his body, the deliciousness of his power even as I felt him pull away again.
He left without a word as I watched him go and wished there was something I could do to change his mind.
And mine.
***
