Chapter 260: Cookies And Charades
I walked in the back door, the blanket still clutched to my chest, barely noticing the sound of voices coming from the kitchen. When Dad's rumbling baritone broke through, my head snapped up and I hurried down the hall. No big surprise to hear his voice, but there was a tone to it that sounded almost happy.
Had something happened?
I'm sure I must have looked funny as I came to a halt just across the threshold, a child's blue blankie in my hands, the front of me covered in silver cat hair, mouth gaping as I stared at my father sitting casually crossed-legged and relaxed at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee half-way to his smiling lips.
"Syd?" The mug lowered, his blue eyes steady, locked on mine, no hint of the haunted look he'd worn just this morning in his gaze. "Are you okay, cupcake?"
Had he totally and completely lost it? I glanced up as movement caught my eye to see Mom deliver a plate of cookies to the table, still playing Little Miss Domesticated like nothing had changed. I felt like I'd suddenly walked into the Twilight Zone.
"Chocolate chip," Mom smiled at Dad. "Your favorite."
Dad smiled back, helped himself. "Delicious, my love."
My gaze flickered to Sassafras where he sat, arms crossed over his chest, scowling at the two of them from the other end of the table. "Can we drop the charade already?" His voice hummed with a growl of power. "Why the act?"
Instead of freaking out like I expected her to, Mom just smiled at Sass and actually stroked his hair. Like he was a real boy or something. Which he was. Damn it, I was sure I couldn't possibly get more confused about this whole insane situation.
"No act," she said, turning her sweet expression on Dad. "We've just come to an understanding."
I shuffled a little further forward, eyes locked on Dad. He felt pretty calm for someone who'd been stripped of every last ounce of power he owned. Way calmer than when he'd simply been trapped here in mortal form. In fact, he seemed... accepting. Yeah, that was the look on his face, in his deep blue eyes, the emotion behind the curve of his smiling lips.
I wanted to slap him. To take him and shake him. Anything, even his sullen brooding of the past year, would be better than standing here watching the last of the fight in my father die as he just gave up and decided to be normal.
"Are you out of your freaking minds?" The hysterical shriek in my voice wasn't helping things any, but I could barely contain it.
Mom's smile twitched before returning. Ah. So there was still some doubt. Okay then. At least I had a chance.
But Dad squashed my hope when he spoke up. "Syd," he said, hand reaching for mine, gripping it gently in the warmth of his own, "it's okay. Really." He sighed deeply, as if releasing something, a burden or weight he'd been carrying around for a long time. "This is my choice. Being powerless..." He shrugged. "It's not as bad as I thought. In fact, there's a peace in it I never understood before." Dad released my hand. "This way, Sassafras is able to be in human form again, the threat of coven law is gone and I get to be your father, your mother's husband, a real part of this family for the first time ever." The gentle, loving expression on his face told me everything I needed to know. "I can live with that."
"Well, I can't." I'm not sure where the sudden surge of fury came from or why I was venting it all over him when he just wanted to accept his fate. "You are not a quitter, Dad. You've never given up, on me, on us." My hands clenched around the blanket so tightly I heard a small ripping sound as I tore the old fabric. "How dare you quit on us now?"
Mom's tears were instant, but so was her answering anger. "Don't you speak to your father like that."
But Dad held up his hand to quiet her. "Syd," he said, that empathetic calm still surrounding him. He took my hand again. "Reach for me, Syd."
I did, in a surge of magic, throwing everything I had at him, plunging deep inside him, trying to find something, anything, to latch onto. Tears welled and fell, my heart crumbling as my desperate need was crushed by the truth. There was nothing, not a hint or a trace of the father I grew up with, the demon I loved. I was sure once he rebounded there'd be something. But all I found was a man, empty of power, without even a thread of anything for my energy to latch onto.
My fingers slid from his. He continued to smile at me, sadness there. But not for himself. For me.
"There's nothing we can do," he said. "You must understand, Syd."
"But demon magic." My eyes sought Sassafras. He refused to meet my gaze, scowling at the tabletop. "We haven't tried to use demon power yet."
Dad nodded. "Yes, honey," he said. "We have. You just did."
A sob escaped me. He was right. The slim hope died along with the last of my protest. I realized then he hadn't quit, not really. He'd been forced to stop. Guilt replaced anger. I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around his neck, feeling him scoop me up like I was little again and set me in his lap, while I cried into the collar of his shirt.
Mom's hand settled on my back, her other stroking my hair. "It's going to be okay, honey," she whispered. "We have your father with us. He's alive, safe. Isn't it all that matters?"
I pulled away from both of them. "No," I said. "It's not." I met Mom's eyes, wiping at tears with one hand while I continued to cradle the blanket against me with the other, a simple yet powerful comfort I refused to release. "I want my father back."
As much as I knew it hurt them both, I had to leave the room, running all the way upstairs, slamming my door behind me, the only way I had to express my disappointment and hurt. I collapsed on my bed, face pressed into the fabric of the blanket, feeling like I'd lost something very important to me and would never, ever get it back.
I blamed the blanket for my retreat into girlhood again, the lost and lonely girl I used to be, who hated everything to do with magic. Those feelings surged back as I accused the power my family wielded of ruining everything. Only this time I didn't have Gram's embedded essence to encourage my reaction.
I heard my door open, but ignored it. I couldn't ignore the person who sat down beside me, disturbing the bed a little. Not when he spoke up, at least.
"I'm sorry." There were tears in Sassafras's voice. "You were all right to blame me. This is my fault."
I sat up and hugged him, the furry blanket between us, remembering in a surge of emotion how, no matter how rotten or upset or hurt I was, Sassafras was always there for me when I was growing up. "No," I said, "it's not. You tried to save Dad, Sass." I pulled away a little, for the first time accepting he was who he was now and finally coming back to myself. My demon hummed her unhappiness and reached for him at the same time. "Thank you."
His slumped shoulders straightened a little. "I have an idea," he said, soft and tentative as if he feared speaking it aloud.
I felt a shudder move through me at the very thought of a plan. "Did you tell Mom and Dad?"
Sass shook his head, scowling again. "They are lost in la-la-liar land," he said, his old sarcasm returned. I took it as a good sign. "We'll have to try it on our own."
"What's the plan?" I almost leaped from the bed, eager to give it an immediate go.
Sass paused for a long moment, fingers twining in the blanket. "Syd," he said, as if I hadn't asked him a question first, "did you like me better when I was a cat?"
Tough question. "I've known you my whole life," I whispered. "I don't care what you look like."
His lips quirked. "Liar," he said. "Thanks." His shoulders twitched as if he were throwing off something he didn't like very much.
"The plan?" I jabbed him in the ribs.
He twisted to the side away from my fingers. "The plan." His eyes glowed amber, the deep brown on fire for a moment. "We contact my father."
"Um, I hate to burst your bubble," I said, "but Dad's been trying to get in touch with Theridialis all along. Hasn't he?"
Sassy nodded. "And I was helping him," he said. "But our power was so divided, we couldn't get through." I remembered Dad asking me to join him in the basement once, just once. He refused to tell me what he wanted or why. He tried to link my power to his. It worked fine, but whatever he was attempting failed and he'd sent me away with a scowl on his face.
"Is that what he's been focused on?" I thought about all the time Dad spent in the basement. "Trying to reach Demonicon? I thought he was looking for a way to get his power back."
"The only way he can do that is to connect with another demon," Sassy said. "But without an effigy for the demon, made with his help, it takes a massive amount of power to summon one who isn't expecting it."
"I opened a gateway," I said, "when we were fighting Cesard."
"With the magic of three very powerful forces at your disposal," Sass said. "Not even the family has that much magic to offer."
"The Wild." I shook my head at my own impulsive outburst. "Wrong kind of power."
Sassy nodded, glum. "If my father is aware we're trying to reach him, he may be able to help us part the veil. But I wasn't connected to him, not since my transformation," there was so much bitterness in his voice when he said it I winced, "and banishment." He hugged himself and met my eyes. "But the moment I returned to human form, I felt it return."
I stared at him in shock and a little anger. "You can feel your father and you didn't tell me? Or them?"
Sassy looked away, a flicker of guilt on his face. "I wasn't sure at first," he whispered. "It's been over a hundred and fifty years, Syd, give or take. Besides, I had no idea what any of this meant, not really. Not until your father and mother decided to give up."
I wasn't the only one who thought so, then. "Sass," I said, "why are you bothering to tell me?" His head snapped around, face full of anger as I went on. "You could have just stayed quiet and kept what you have."
"Thanks a lot, Syd," he snarled. "Nice to know what you really think of me." He lurched to his feet, but I was faster, grasping his arm and pulling him back down beside me.
"Sass," I said. "It's an honest question." I let him go, but instead of leaving he remained, eyes locked on the carpet. "I remember what it felt like to be demonless. I would have done anything to get my power back. I can't imagine it's any different for you and your natural shape."
He shrugged. "I'm used to it," he said. "Being this way... it's almost wrong somehow." Sass looked up again, no longer angry. "You're right, it is an honest question. But I've spent most of my existence protecting and guiding your family, Syd. I've lived with, loved and lost so many Hayle witches, sometimes I wonder if I can stand to go through it again." He turned away, but not before I saw the tears well in his eyes. "I'm bound to you, to all of you, for better or worse. I'm not about to quit on you now." He snuffled and swiped his sleeve over his eyes. "Unlike some demons I know."
I'd known it, his history, the fact he'd been with us so long, was aware of it my whole life. But it only now struck me how terribly sad his life must have been, watching girl after girl be born, grow up and die, only to be replaced by yet another to claim his heart.
"Okay then," I said, a huge lump in my throat. "Theridialis it is. Do you think your dad can help?"
Sassy made a face, wry but with a hint of amusement, the last of his sorrow fading.
"I may not think much of his parenting skills," Sassafras said, "but my father is the most brilliant demon on Demonicon. If he can't help us, no one can."
***
