Chapter 333: Love Confessions
The bench was cold under my legs as I sat in the back yard under the light of the bulb over the door. It had been almost twenty-four hours since the power transfer was completed and while I'd shared the family magic with Mom before, I didn't realize until I took on my half she'd only shouldered me with a portion of it in the past.
I flinched from the memory of standing in the Council chamber, all those eyes watching and weighing me, as the power flowed out of Mom, happily through Gram and into me.
One question was finally answered without a doubt as the surging Council power, the most I'd ever seen, burst into life the moment Mom was free. Stripped from Batsheva Moromond in that moment, it returned to the chamber in search of a new host.
I wasn't the only one who gasped as sheets of red fire fought it, a battle waging overhead as Batsheva's blood magic fought to contain and control it.
Now we know how she became leader, Gram sent. How she does everything. By force. And she's not ready to let all of that magic go.
Mom reached out both with her hands and her remaining energy. The Council power thrashed in its confines, straining to reach her as if they belonged together. I gathered my control of the elements to help only to have Gram hold me back.
Wait.
I had to learn to be more trusting. Mom's magic wasn't random, not at all, but focused into a razor thin wire slicing through the outer shell of blood energy. The Council power acted on the gap instantly, tearing wide the thin slice and throwing off the pressure of the failing spell.
The sound of a far-off scream of rage chased the blood magic away.
The Council power, now free again, swelled like a raging waterfall. I could feel its fury and its need to connect with someone.
My mother.
When it descended, there was nothing gentle and loving about it. Used and abused by its last pairing, the might of all of that energy lashed out and seized Mom like it owned her.
I clutched at my chest, heart stopping as it plummeted to the floor, crushing Mom under its weight. But my mother didn't falter. In fact, the moment it touched her she welcomed it, wide open to not only the rush of magic, but all of us, exposed for everyone to see.
It was the smartest move she'd ever made. Not only did every single witch understand then she was pure and good, the magic itself felt her strength and love and wound itself inside her, quickly bonding with her and linking them together forever. The two came together as if made for each other.
Mom's smile was radiant and I couldn't bring myself to ruin it for her.
I could do my sulking in private.
At least I had Gram to help me figure everything out. It felt different to have her connected to me like Mom had been, but better in a way. There was no fight, no push and pull. I was so familiar with Gram because of our previous bond we fit together like a pair of fuzzy socks.
Still, I found myself restless at times, like something crawled under my skin, and had yet to sleep.
It was almost as if the family magic understood Mom wasn't coming back and took the opportunity to fully explore me. Not like it hadn't had me to examine my entire life. I found the intense attention disconcerting.
I heard the rumble of his motorcycle pulling up at the same time I felt him, the intensity of Quaid's presence growing as he crossed the family wards and entered the back yard. He sat down next to me without a sound, leather jacket and pants creaking, the scent of him so familiar I had a flashback to the night he tried to warn me about the Moromonds, the night my family was almost destroyed.
"Are you okay?" Quaid's hand found mine, his energy sliding over me. The family magic welcomed him, drew him closer. He responded by pulling his hand away and rubbing his palm on his knee with a frown.
"Sorry." I hugged myself. "It's a little over-enthusiastic at the moment. Give me a few days to get it sorted out."
He nodded quickly, sat back. "So you're not okay."
I thought about it, really allowed myself to consider the question. "No," I said at last. "I am. I miss Mom, but she's alive and well and in control of the Council so there really couldn't be a much better ending there. And Dad's okay too, more than okay." I laughed. "Remind me to ask him how he jumped five planes since he got back."
Quaid's grin was barely there.
"What about you?" I turned to him, reached for him, but hesitated when he didn't reach back.
"I'm okay." He clenched one hand into a fist before letting it go and running his fingers through his curls. "I just feel a little... lost."
I nodded. "Did you talk to Mia?"
"No," he shifted his position as if he were as uncomfortable in his own skin as I was in mine. "She's gone already."
"Maybe..." I swallowed hard, heart sinking. "Maybe you should go with her."
He met my eyes, his expressionless. "Are you asking me to leave?"
"No." I shook my head and looked away, unable to hold his gaze while my heart broke. "But she'll need strong family around her, Quaid. If she's to keep control of the coven. To turn it around as she said she wants to do."
He tapped his fingers on the arm rest of the bench on an off-beat, frowning at them like they hurt his feelings.
"I know," he said. "But I don't want to go."
Exhale. I would not sob in relief.
Quaid sighed a deep breath, looking out over the yard though I knew his mind was further away. "For the first time since I can remember, I'm free." His lips twisted into a half smile. "Now that Dominic is dead... yes, I know Batsheva is still out there, but seeing my parents, releasing the magic they embedded in me, in Mia... Syd, I don't feel the drive to find her and kill her anymore."
Made sense. "So that's why you're lost."
He bobbed his head in a slow nod. "It's like someone's taken away my purpose, you know?" Quaid smiled at me. "Not like it was a good purpose to begin with. But it was all I had for a long time. Even when I didn't know I had it."
"Maybe it's time to come up with your own purpose." I could only hope it included me.
His dark eyes narrowed, teeth chewing his lower lip. "Pender was a good choice for the new leader of the Enforcers, don't you think?"
Where did that abrupt change in conversation come from?
"I guess," I said. "At least he finally found his backbone."
Quaid twitched like he wanted to say something, but fell silent. He was so long before he spoke again I almost jumped.
"He tried to recruit me."
Okay, heartbreak time again.
"Yeah?" I kept my tone light, but knew he could tell I was only holding it together for his benefit. "What did you say?"
"I don't know." Quaid surged to his feet to pace in front of me, boots scuffing through the grass. "Syd, I just don't." He came to a halt in front of me, towering over me.
"If you join them," I said, voice so soft I barely made myself out, "you have to leave the coven." Leave me. No, I was not going to say those last two words out loud.
I didn't have to.
Quaid fell to his knees before me, hands taking mine, so much sadness in his eyes I thought of the poor little boy he'd been when the Moromonds kidnapped him.
"I'll stay," he said, with a hint of desperation in his voice, "if you ask me to."
Damn him, he did not just do that to me. Did not.
It was so hard to pull my hands free when I just wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him into submission and never, ever let him go.
I hated I couldn't do that for him.
"It's your life," I said, stroking his cheek, letting my power out to embrace him further even as he dropped his head, hands resting on my thighs as his shoulders sagged. "I can't ask you to do anything for me, Quaid. Not if it means you're not doing what you want. It's not fair to either of us and you know it."
His head snapped up, tears tracking down his cheeks, chocolate eyes full of pain. "I've loved you since the first day we met on your front step," he said, voice cracking. "And I've spent every day since loving you more and more while I worked so hard to hide it from you."
I laughed then, feeling the tension break between us. "That's why you were such a jerk." His lip twitched in a grin. "I wish I'd known. I would have taken total advantage of the situation."
His tears stopped, the agony leaving his face. "I'm in no hurry to make any decisions," he said.
My heart sighed and healed as I leaned forward, cupping his cheeks in my hands, feeling the warmth of his lips on mine as I kissed him for a long moment.
"We have lots of time," I said.
Quaid retook his seat beside me, lifting me into his lap, holding me close, lips brushing my forehead over and over as he held me tight.
I just wished I didn't feel like he was doing it because he was afraid to let me go.
***
