Chapter 768: Pannera
I half expected to run into resistance at Castle Sthol. Old habits die hard, after all. But instead of the typical animosity of the past, I was instead greeted with awe and more than a little fear by the vampires who stood guard at the front gate.
Yes, I could have landed myself and my vampire friends in the middle of Pannera's throne room. But I was learning diplomacy and figured sugar might get me farther than arrogance and bullying.
Sunny and Uncle Frank took the lead, Sassafras perched in my uncle's arms. Sebastian remained back, with me, his hand brushing mine twice as we entered the large gates at the front of the castle and were ushered inside.
On impulse, I flexed my fingers and felt his slip into mine. Guilt tried to rise, Liam's face. But I pushed it down, tightened my grip on Sebastian's hand.
Liam was gone. Had been for almost a year.
Time to move on, Syd.
I looked up, caught Sebastian's little smile, how his dark blue eyes watched me without pressure, but filled with speculation.
Well, he was alive now, wasn't he? Which opened our little situation to a whole new world of possibilities.
It was the first time I actually allowed myself to think about someone else, at least with a face instead of some vague understanding I had to choose a replacement. To see my life past the loss of Liam. Yes, I knew I had to find someone. A daughter was a requirement if our family was to maintain leadership of my coven. I might be immortal and pretty much invincible, but I had no desire to lead the family forever. Just didn't seem right, somehow.
All of my musings about Sebastian and just how alive he really was-and how willing he would be to show me what his new state could mean for us-came to an abrupt halt as we strode up the central aisle of the throne room and I caught my first glimpse of Pannera.
She looked terrible when I'd left her at the vampire mansion in Sunny's care. I knew she'd been brutalized by the loss of the Brotherhood's taint. Weak and aged, shrunken no matter how much blood she was fed, Pannera seemed to be dissolving that night, cracking and powdering around the edges.
No comparison to the present. I barely recognized her, save for her blazing gray eyes that caught and held mine.
"Sydlynn Hayle," her voice snapped, harsh-edged, as she spoke.
I stopped in my tracks, did my best not to stare like a kid at a freak show. Swallowed my rising gorge and pulled my crap together.
"Queen Pannera," I said in my best Mom voice, not a trace of my sympathy and horror showing. I hoped.
I prayed.
The withered, pale gray creature perched on the throne coughed, a racking sound echoing through the throne room. Where the clan of Castle Wilhelm radiated hope, the Sthol blood clan gathered around their queen shivered in despair and terror. They had every right to be afraid. The only part of Pannera holding life were her gray eyes. The rest of her resembled a piece of paper burned too fast, still intact, but fragile, ready to break apart at the briefest breath of air.
Sebastian had been shrunken, but more mummy-like, his skin leathery and hard. As had mine, from what I was told, when Batsheva drained me into nothing. And that very ex-witch, ex-vampire queen, was currently ensconced in my basement to grow mold on her leathery hide while her spirit lived on in torment.
But Pannera had none of that solidity and, as she moved one hand, claws yellowed and cracked, a soft fall of what looked like spent ash fell from her skin to dust across the lap of her gown.
Still dressed in satin and lace, her once glorious hair thinned to stray strands of sickly brown, Pannera Sthol was clearly on her way out.
The perfect candidate for our little test.
"I welcome you, maji," Pannera said, the blunt grinding of her tone making me wince internally. A wet rattle followed as she drew a breath. Not a real one, no lungs to inflate, nothing to hold it as Sebastian's body now did. Not necessary for vampires, of course, but something they carried with them from their days as humans. She was obviously falling apart on the inside as well as the outside.
"Thank you, Great Queen," I said, bowing to her, willingly. My sympathy made me feel more kindly to the old bat, I guess. Considering how far she'd fallen, and that most of our encounters were flavored by the control of the Brotherhood, I figured a little kindness and respect wouldn't hurt.
She gestured again, losing another layer of herself, the pattering of the bits loud in the quiet throne room.
"I would see you clearly," she said. "Please, approach."
Not a moment's hesitation. I walked directly to her, kneeling beside her throne as the vampires surrounding her stepped back. A quick glance up at the touch of a hand on my shoulder and I reflexively squeezed in return. Anastasia, Sebastian's former lieutenant and the new leader of his old blood clan, bobbed her head to me, sorrow on her beautiful face.
I returned my attention to Pannera as the dying queen offered me her hand.
I expected it to fall apart in mine, took her fingers carefully between my own. She was cold, so cold, and powdery, but the core of her was still solid despite the dusting like baby powder of her deterioration on my skin.
"You have come to say goodbye." Her gray eyes flared once with power before it faded. "I am grateful."
"I'm sorry for what's been done to you." I really was. No one deserved to die this way.
Except Liander Belaisle. Maybe I could arrange that.
Oh, and Ameline.
If this transformation worked for Pannera, I'd think about it.
For now, I could only do my best and try to make things right.
"Your Majesty," I said, "I have another reason for being here. And I hope goodbye has nothing to do with it."
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