Chapter 99: Mia
Somehow I found myself in Chemistry writing a test I knew nothing about and not really caring how I did on it. My usual study partner sat three chairs over, his dark hair falling over his glasses. Simon refused to look at me and when the class finally ended and I handed in the joke that was my exam, he brushed past me like he didn't know me and left without a word.
It didn't hurt, not even a little bit.
Liar. Not like it mattered. My life was spiraling downward on all levels anyway. Might as well throw the last few shovels full of dirt on my coffin and be done with it.
Dad returned the night before with very little to add.
"According to Theridialis, it's perfectly safe." Dad didn't look like he believed his friend at all. "You're not going to implode or anything. But the two of you need to work this out and work together to discover what is really going on."
Mom then took a good hour inside my head to wander around and see what she could find. She finally sighed and sat back from me while I rubbed my temples and tried not to feel too sorry for myself.
"There's definitely something blocking your connection," she said. "I can't believe I didn't sense it before. But whoever put it there... Sydlynn, honey, it's not there to hurt you."
I scowled at her and dropped my hands. "You know what they say about good intentions, Mom."
She smiled a little. "The power itself feels like family power, as though it came from someone inside the coven."
I shuddered, thinking of the Moromonds. But it couldn't have been them. They showed up long after my aversion to magic kicked in. Like, when I was born.
"I've placed some blocks around your demon for now." Mom didn't hear the roar of protest from inside my head, but she saw me wince. "I'm sorry. To both of you. But until we figure this out, it's best if the two of you don't fly apart at the worst possible time."
My demon's sulking was never a pleasant experience.
Why did I go to school the next day? Stupid Chemistry test. Not that I really cared if I passed, which I was almost positive I hadn't, but if I didn't go there would be all kinds of unpleasantness involving my mom and the principal. We didn't need any more disruption.
I spent another unhappy lunch outside, alone. My choice. I couldn't stand to sit in the cafeteria and watch my friends smile and laugh and talk to that weasel, Benjamin.
I was pretty surprised when he sought me out. He caught up with me at my locker before the afternoon bell. I felt him before I spotted him, like a dark oozing shadow settling beside me, leaned against my neighbor's locker like he owned the place.
"Hello, Sydlynn," he said.
A thrill of something that felt like fear traced down my skin. Why did that seem familiar? My mind was still foggy from my misery and I couldn't focus. I finally shook my head and went back to my own business without answering.
"I wish we could just be friends." He was relentless. Didn't he get it?
"Good for you," I said, slamming my locker door and turning to face him. "But we can't always have what we wish for, can we?"
I tried to walk past him like I didn't care, but he stopped me with one hand on my arm. I jerked out of his grip instantly. No way was I letting this guy touch me.
"It's a shame," he said. "I can be a very valuable friend." His smile widened. "The others certainly understand that."
My demon hissed, long and slow and furious. I was totally with her.
"They're idiots," I snapped, "if they can't see you're just a sociopath with an annoying smile."
He leaned in very close, so much I could smell the chocolate pudding on his breath.
"I can also be a very dangerous person to cross." His clear blue eyes tried to suck me in, but I was too mad for his charm.
"Don't threaten me, Benjamin," I said. "You have no idea the hurt I could do you."
He winced, almost like I'd struck a chord. That made no sense. I'd never touched the guy. Not outside my imagination, anyway.
"We'll see." Benjamin took a step back. "Have a nice weekend."
He turned and walked away while I prayed a giant hole would open up and swallow him.
No such luck.
I seethed in that conversation for the rest of the afternoon, playing it over and over in my mind. What could I have said better? Maybe hitting him or using my magic wouldn't have been so bad? My frustration and hurt was so strong I could barely stand it.
Then it hit me. One person was the key to all of this. If I could convince Pain-sorry, Mia-that Benjamin wasn't who she thought he was, maybe the others would finally listen.
Only trouble was I had nothing on the guy. Nothing but how I felt about him
That was it. It struck me like a blessed lightning bolt of joyous brilliance from the sky. All I had to do was let her feel how I felt. She had power. I knew that already. Her blocked off abilities were breaking free bit by bit from whatever held her power in check. If I could access that, let her experience the discomfort I felt, I knew I could convince her.
Trouble was, Mom made me promise not to do anything about Pain's power. But there was a loophole, a gaping one. I wasn't trying to keep my friend from using her power or even helping her uncover it. I was simply going to move close enough to her so I could open up my magic and let her in.
The more I thought about it, the better the idea sounded. Not wanting the time to talk myself out of it, I turned around from my usual route and headed for Pain's house.
I hesitated at the last minute, hovering at the end of her driveway, right next to the perfect replica of her gingerbread house. What if she wasn't home? Or if Benjamin was with her? I hadn't thought this through. It was possible that contact with my magic could make things a whole lot worse for her. She'd only recently gotten out of treatment after the little Cesard worshipping crazy show she put on in front of the whole school, after all. And this sudden turn around, her shift from total Goth Goddess to Miss Prim made me wonder about how stable she actually was.
Too late. I was spotted. The front door whooshed open and Mrs. Hammond appeared. She waved at me with her usual enthusiasm, pink cheeks flushed.
"Sydlynn!" I walked up the driveway, dragging my feet but smiling for her sake. "How are you dear?"
"Fine, Mrs. Hammond," I lied. "I was wondering if Pain, um, Mia, was home?"
Mrs. Hammond grabbed my hand and used it to pull me into a very strong hug.
"She is! Come in! I know she'll be thrilled to see you!" If it weren't for the woman's dominating excitement, I probably would have run. But she had me in her firm grasp, pulling me forward into the foyer of the house and closing the door behind me with a finality that felt like I'd been led to the gallows.
I looked up at a flash of movement and saw Pain-okay, she was Mia 100% in that get up-standing on the staircase, watching me.
"Sweetheart," Mrs. Hammond gushed, "Sydlynn came by for a visit! Isn't that lovely?"
"Lovely," Mia said.
I was led, unresisting, into the formal living room I'd only glimpsed the last time I was in the house and seated on a wide leather sofa. Everything in the room looked brand new and unused, polished to a high sheen, including the caramel colored hard wood floors.
Mia took a seat across from me on the matching love seat, the glass coffee table between us while Mrs. Hammond fluttered around smiling like she never had guests.
"I'll go fetch some snacks," she said, off again before I could tell her I wasn't hungry. Not at all. In fact, my stomach was in such a tight knot I could barely breathe.
"What are you doing here?" So much for the preamble. Or anything resembling friendship. Mia's flat look didn't waver. It was clear I wasn't welcome. But I hoped to change all that.
"I wanted to talk," I said. "I don't understand what happened, why everything fell apart." It came across genuine because it was. Yes, I was there to manipulate her with magic, but my intentions were pure.
She softened a bit, not quite so rigid, her eyes no longer empty. "Neither do I," she said. "It doesn't have to be like this, Syd."
I nodded. "I know."
"You can't change me." Her shoulders went back, face stern. When she sat like that, she reminded me of someone suddenly. I couldn't place who, but now that she was free of all that makeup, it was as if I'd met her before her Goth phase.
Weird.
"I know that too," I said. "And I don't want to. I guess I just wish... we had a great thing going. Did you know this was the first time in my life I've ever had real friends?"
Again she softened, shoulders falling forward, a touch of grief on her face. "Me too," she said.
"We move so much," I said, watching her carefully but being honest. Nothing else would do and I knew somehow only honesty would be accepted. She'd see right through me otherwise. "I never had the chance to really get to know anyone. And I've spent my life pretty much a screw up, so I never expected I'd have friends like you."
My eyes welled with real tears and I snuffled a little. Wow, I was really feeling sorry for myself. I heard a rustle of cloth and she was there beside me, her hands gripping mine, blue eyes full of real pain. No wonder she chose that name.
"Us too," she whispered to me like it was a secret. "This is the longest I've lived anywhere. And every time we move, I feel like I've left another part of myself behind." She wiped at a tear on her cheek before smiling a little. "Being your friend means a lot to me."
I squeezed her hands. "You too," I said, meaning it from the bottom of my heart.
She sat back a bit and laughed. "I'm so glad you came," she said. "Now we can be one big happy family again."
My own answering smile faded and I sighed. "I wish we could," I said. "But it's just not the same."
The look of hurt on her face was almost physically painful to me. And for the first time since she touched me I felt the spark of her power rise. I very gently opened myself to it and allowed her to feel it there. Her eyes grew slightly wide, though I'm sure she didn't know what she was feeling, only that we were somehow connecting on another level.
"Syd," she leaned close, "you're like a sister to me. I don't want to lose you. But I love Benjamin. There is something about him... it feels like he fills up all the pieces that I've lost, you know?" She seemed desperate for me to understand, to agree. "For the first time in years I feel like the real me, not some fraud trying to find her identity."
I wished I didn't have to do what I was about to do. And in all honesty, I didn't have to. I could have left well enough alone, tried again with her and Alison and the others. But I knew ultimately the outcome would be the same.
So, with all of that spinning in my mind, I opened up a little further and let her see how Benjamin felt to me.
She recoiled instantly, hands pulling free of mine. She stood beside the couch, shaking and wide-eyed as if I'd just told her there was no Santa Claus.
"Mia, just listen, please."
She shook her head, tears returning to her eyes. "What was that?"
"You know what it was." I kept my voice low and soft, not wanting to scare her. "If you would just look at him, really look, you'll see it too."
Mia hesitated, shivering and hugging herself. I had her. I know I did.
Mrs. Hammond chose that moment to return with a tray of cookies and milk. I would have gotten through to Mia if I'd had another moment, but that moment was lost when her mother bustled into the living room with a huge smile.
"Who's hungry?" She looked back and forth between Mia and I as if sensing at last something wasn't quite right.
"Not now, Mother," Mia said in the saddest voice I'd ever heard. "Syd was just leaving." Mia turned and left, walking upstairs and out of sight.
So much for that plan.
***
