Chapter 762: Delivery
"Syd, look at me."
Nope, no looking, just breathing. I couldn't breathe, though, that was the problem, wasn't it? Air refused to go in and out of my lungs in a normal manner, my diaphragm contracting and squeezing so hard I could barely pull in air.
Which left me gasping, writhing.
"Syd." Power, usually so kind and soft, sharpened into a jab. My eyes flew open, sweat stinging instantly as I stared up at Lula. She smiled at me, gently, but her magic held me in a grip almost as tight as the pain. "You're doing fine." No panic in her voice. Good, okay then. That was good, wasn't it? So why did I feel panicked and freaked out and like I was going to explode all at the same time? "You have to relax or the baby will fight you."
Eep. Ack. Groan.
No, nugget. No fighting, please, no fighting. Just come out, okay?
Out. His little mind knew that one concept, clearly. Out. Out. Out. Out.
Hell, yeah. Prior concerns about the consequences long gone, I was with him there.
"Out," I panted. "You got it. But you have to actually do something, kiddo."
Fell back onto my pillow with a choking sob as the pain eased and he rumbled his unhappiness.
Holy. Freaking. Forget it. How long had it been? Sixteen days? A month? Forever?
I must have asked out loud because Mom's face appeared, her fingers cool on my cheek. "It's only been a half hour," she said. "So you're doing fine."
Bull. No. Way.
The baby howled once. OUT.
Yeah, no freaking kidding. But this time when the pain subsided, I felt him pouting, sighing, frustrated as I was frustrated. Too soon to quit. Was it really such a short period of time?
Convinced Mom lied to me, I snarled at Lula.
"Just take him out already."
She continued with her evil little smile that was supposed to be all sweet and kind and crap. But I knew better when she said, "Soon, now."
Liar. Such a liar.
My egos crooned to me even as I snapped at them to shut the hell up. This sucked and I wanted it done. Hell, I was done already. No way could I go through this.
"I'm finished, okay?" I rolled on my side, trying to get up. "We can try again tomorrow."
Hands press me down again.
"Syd." Mom's face wavered before me, her familiar magic holding me still as Sassafras's purr hummed its irritating song in my ear. "It's almost over. You have to let go of the baby. That's all. Just let go."
Wait, this was my fault? "Not my fault." The nugget protested, agreed with me.
Loved me, no matter his discomfort, felt bad for hurting me. Wanted me to be happy despite his own need.
Crap, Syd. Think for once.
"No, sweetheart." Mom stroked my forehead, belying what I now understood, her fingers icicles against the flaming heat of my skin. Funny how I could feel heat, cold. My maji power didn't allow me to, did it? What had this kid done to me? "You're fine. Just let him go, now."
Sassafras continued to purr in my ear as I processed my son's need to protect me, to keep me safe, holding him back. "It's okay," he said. "To let him go. Syd, he'll be fine. I promised, remember? I'll take care of him for you, when he's here. But you have to let him be born."
Was it my fault? I gasped as the pain returned, felt my alter egos support me, the ripples of agony passing through me and into them, down to the core of my sorcery. So. Much. Pain.
I wanted him out, didn't I?
Didn't I?
And then, I felt it, what they knew already. There, in the darkest corner of myself. The tie holding him to me, the face I missed so very much, the love I'd lost. And still mourned.
I clung to the peanut as I clung to Liam.
Shaylee wailed, my demon roaring her sadness. The family magic pooled in grief, weeping itself into despair. Even my sorcery closed, the blossom retreating, my vampire shuddering in loss.
How could I let this lovely boy go? How could I let him leave me, knowing what happened to his father, what could happen to him out here in the real world?
How?
Syd, Gram's voice echoed in my head, faint but there. It's time to let go of Liam, girl. The baby is not his father. And your son has his own destiny.
We twisted away from her, all of us, even as the nugget rebelled with a surge of frustration, his worry for me gone in a burst of his own need.
OUT, MOMMA.
For one last moment, I clung to Liam. To his smile, the way he smelled of fresh earth and fabric softener. His deep, steady roots. My oak tree. My sweet, sweet husband.
And then, sobbing for my loss as I hadn't mourned before, I let him go.
Peanut stilled. Sighed. And pushed against me.
This time, I was ready. Helped.
Felt him leave me, my physical body, as Mom cried and Lula smiled and Sass purred. While Gram's thin, remaining magic embraced me.
His first cry was so loud I jerked in response, the sound of Galleytrot howling in the back yard a joyful counterpoint to the boy's lusty cry.
Everything inside me reacted, desperate to know he was okay. Lula's magic severed the cord keeping us together, the last of our physical connection gone.
Even as the magic so much a part of him latched onto me and forged a bond I knew would never part.
Liam was gone. But my baby boy was here. A surge of power from the Kennecott healer and he was sparkling clean, wrapped quickly in a blanket. Lula laid him, now quiet and content, on my chest, and I kissed his soft forehead. He felt soft and warm and smelled of fresh-turned earth, bringing tears to my eyes.
Of joy. Knowing then, through our baby, Liam was always with me.
I whispered my love for our son, wrapping him in my energy.
"Gabriel Liam Hayle," I said over his fuzzy blonde hair tinted with a hint of red. "Welcome to the family."
***
