Chapter 763: Gabriel
Amazing how such little fingers and toes could hold endless fascination. Perfectly formed. Tiny replicas of my own, miniature flawlessness in a sweet bundle I wanted to hold forever.
His tiny button nose wrinkled in sleep, bow lips working as he sucked his tongue. Gabriel's scent evolved past his father's into summer and freshness with a hint of the most delicious vanilla, his little body warm in my arms. I feared I'd lose the ability to physically feel that part of him, my temperature sensation curtailed by my power. But though my maji magic kicked in after his birth, returning me to my normal lack of sensation to heat and cold, something about Gabriel made things different. I could sense a change from moment to moment as his body adjusted. Warming in sleep, cooling a little as he woke, rising again when he fed.
But it was the warmth of his power and his darling little soul that made me want to hug him and never let him go.
I was forced to release him, set him down from time to time those first few days, much to my irritation. So what if I needed a shower? Gabriel didn't care if I stank. Or needed to eat? I had enough padding on me to last several years, thanks. The worst? They convinced me to give him up, didn't they? Mom and Shenka and Gram. Charlotte. Meira, who arrived with more gifts and a huge grin. All of them. Talked me into letting my son go.
So they could hold him.
Heartless. Selfish.
Jerks.
I don't think he slept in his bassinet once the first two weeks of his life. There was always someone there to cuddle him. Night time brought Sunny and Uncle Frank, even, to take away my precious moments with my son as the vampire queen and her consort mauled him just like the rest of the damned family.
I didn't mean to be grouchy. But seriously.
Mine.
The best thing about Gabriel was his shining personality. My downfall. Maybe if he'd been the kind of baby who cried for no reason. Or at least fussed a little. I found myself wishing he'd upchuck on someone so they'd give him back to me. But no, not my Gabriel. I don't think I knew what his cry sounded like, the only one he uttered gone with his birth.
Gabriel giggled. Gabriel cooed. Gabriel smiled and wriggled.
Gabriel, in a word, was perfect.
Lula admitted she found it astonishing how mature he seemed. "Most babies aren't self-aware this young," she said as I greedily took my child back from my sad-faced mother. "The fact he was able to articulate to you in the womb... he's a remarkable boy."
I looked up, sharp and concerned at the wondering tone in her voice.
"He's fine, though." I rested my cheek against his fuzzy hair, combing his little person with my power as my egos echoed my act, looking for any flaw, any problem.
Lula laughed, patted my shoulder. "Gabriel is more than fine," she said, echoing what I already knew. "He's perfect."
He was, wasn't he?
"I think it's our fault," Sassafras said from his perch next to me. He refused to leave my side. That was, until someone else took the boy from me. Then he refused to leave their side.
Traitor cat.
Lula shrugged. "The power you gave him during the pregnancy could be the issue," she said. "This is my first experience with the birth of a Sidhe soul, though. I daresay it's Cian's influence at work."
Right. The full-grown Sidhe soul inside my son, a part of the Gate creator, had to have an effect.
Sassafras seemed to relax. "I hadn't thought of that."
I felt a momentary pang of empathy for the demon cat. "You didn't hurt him," I said, stroking Sass's fur with one hand, cuddling Gabriel against me with the other. "In fact, you, Mom, Gram. My hitchhikers. The family." Okay, I wasn't grumpy anymore. "You all gave him a massive gift. I agree with Lula." My fingers left Sass and touched my son's soft cheek. "Gabriel is perfect."
Despite my need to just lie there and cuddle, nurse, sing to and generally absorb my son back into me through osmosis, Lula had me up and moving right away. I was a little surprised how fast the bloated body recovered, how quickly my hands returned to mostly normal, ankles and knees no longer aching. My lower back rejoiced and thanked me, though my tummy remained a soft, squishy mess for a while. Not that I had washboard abs or anything, but I despaired at the flab until it, too, began to recede and my waist came back.
So happy to see my waist.
Life settled into a kind of joyful rhythm, surrounding Gabriel's every need and whim. Breast feeding took some getting used to, though his power hummed around us at every meal and encouraged my body to give him what he needed without any help from me. Lula told me I was lucky how easily the two of us fit together and I was again grateful for my son's amazing development.
Especially when some of the family came to visit. Shared horror stories about colic and illness that sent me running, stomach churning, Gabriel protectively tucked against me until Mom or Shenka came to softly soothe us both.
Sassafras's constant companionship at least eased the worst of my fears. I woke one morning, about three weeks after he was born, to find my son talking baby talk to the cat who answered with his own version of Gabrielspeak.
The. Cutest. Thing. Ever.
Ever.
I had no idea a three-week-old shouldn't be talking yet. Lula's alarm was well hidden, but I caught it and tensed immediately when she arrived for his weekly checkup.
"He's growing much faster than most children," she said, smile wavering only slightly.
"He's fine," Galleytrot growled. "Leave the boy be."
Was she right? Gabriel did seem quite sizable for an infant. Fitting into six month baby clothes. And how had his face matured so quickly?
"Sidhe babies grow up very fast," Galleytrot informed us from where he lay beside me, earth power a protective presence. "Trust me, Gabriel is completely fine."
Lula accepted his word and I had to. Didn't I? Again, I could have asked Sonja, I supposed. But Liam's mother had been left out of the pregnancy. At this point, I didn't even know if she knew Gabriel existed. She already wasn't exactly my biggest fan, blamed me for her son's death... Since that made two of us, I could hardly hold her animosity against her. And now that my son was here, surely she'd blame me for not knowing about Gabriel-or being kept from him, not putting that past Mom for a second-and chalk it up as yet another reason to hate me.
About two weeks after his early June birth, I finally allowed a large group of guests to come and celebrate. My protectiveness came from my fear and the loss of his father. I knew that as clearly as my own name. But I couldn't release it, not yet. I had to protect him. And exposing him like this was just an open door welcoming in trouble.
Wasn't it?
Shenka almost went into raptures when I finally agreed. "He is going to have the best shower ever." She bounced off, mind churning so loudly I heard it.
Made me smile.
And my stomach clench in fear. I hadn't allowed a before birth shower, as much as Shenka begged. Thinking I might be able to convince her to drop the whole idea once Gabriel was born. Now putting her off seemed like a terrible idea.
When I was pregnant, he was still safe in my belly. Now...
Anyone who came near my son with evil intent better look the hell out.
The day of Gabriel's party dawned clear and warm, passed without issue. By the time the sun started to set, I dressed him in a sweet little blue outfit Charlotte had made for him in the Ukraine, plush corduroy and soft fleece. Meira's booties fit his feet perfectly, and had since he was born. It wasn't until I sat back with a frown I realized she'd magicked them.
To always fit.
So funny.
I descended to the back yard at the touch of Sunny and Uncle Frank's arrival. Felt my heart quiver at the sight of the lights strung in the trees, paused at the door. Grief washed over me, the memory so vivid. The last time we had a party here.
My wedding.
Liam.
Sorrow grabbed me so tightly I had to force a breath. Felt familiar power, caught the scent of summer. Looked down into hazel eyes.
Sparking with green.
And my son smiled at me.
"Momma," he said.
My sadness shattered as I kissed my son.
"Gabriel," I said.
Looked up to the sound of applause. Found the family waiting for me. My friends of many magic races. Clapping like I'd sung an aria or completed some performance to be proud of.
Funny how it felt like I had.
I was forced to relinquish Gabriel, kept my heart tied to his as my happy son made the rounds from witch to werewolf to demon princess. On and on as I tried to smile and nod and small talk even as my gaze was drawn, over and over, to the sweet baby boy giggling and chattering his nonsense to those who held him.
"Syd." Was that Trill? I hugged her on impulse, surprised to see the young Zornov maji. She and her brothers had left shortly after I found out I was pregnant, gone their gypsy way in their rusting caravan. Her smile was kind and full of hope, without a hint of worry. So she was here for Gabriel and not with bad tidings.
"That's a first," I whispered.
Trill must have known where my mind went, because she laughed. "No news is good news," she said. "I'm here to hold the baby and see my friend."
Tears. Hugs. And the feeling that everything was all right in my world.
"Such a lovely boy," Penelope Anders said, patting my hand as she blinked at me through watery eyes behind her round glasses. Her wrinkled face fell a little while her bestie and constant companion, Rodrigua Pernicus, looked on, sipping nosily at a cup of punch. "Too bad he wasn't a girl."
Mom's fury almost buried the woman, only my power holding back her rage. I'd been expecting this, after all. Found a way to smile, to nod.
Hardly a shocker, Mom, I sent as Penelope and Rodrigua trundled off at Shenka's urging while my mother glared hate at the back of the blue-haired witch and her round companion. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
There's no hurry, Mom sent. You did as they asked. You were wed. There is no law to force you to marry again.
But I have to, I sent, softly. With resigned acceptance. And I will. Because the Hayle coven needs daughters.
Mom's arms hugged me almost as tightly as her energy. And made everything all right again.
Until a slamming car door turned me around, the sound of shouting, a woman's voice. I knew without seeing her, dreaded this confrontation as I understood from the rage in Sonja's approaching mind she'd only just found out.
About Gabriel.
I knew this party would mean trouble.
I tensed, felt my happiness die, guilt taking its place as Liam's mother pushed past the Lawrence twins, her slippery Sidhe magic allowing her to slide through the blockage the scowling twin witches erected.
So hard to hold my expression calm, to keep breathing. I barely saw Sonja approach me as everything inside me went to Gabriel, felt him held carefully in Charlotte's protective arms. Mom's touch as she came to my side, Trill on the other, Shenka stepping between me and Liam's mother.
"No," I whispered. Touched my second's shoulder. "Please, let her speak."
How had we kept Gabriel from her? How had I dared? I knew I was feeling her outrage, but I agreed with it, all of a sudden. Was so selfish, heartless. She'd lost her husband, and her son. And now I was trying to keep her from her grandson.
Of all the guilt I'd ever felt, this was the most powerful. I never should have listened to Mom.
Shenka must have felt what I was feeling, seen my remorse, understood it. Because she nodded once, abrupt and angry, before turning herself sideways. Still protecting me even as Gram took up her position, Sassafras in her arms, beside Mom.
Their united front almost made me smile.
Almost.
"You can't hide my grandson from me!" Sonja's voice shook, her whole body, too, tears in her eyes, fury behind the moisture. "Yes, I know about him, no matter what you all did to keep him from me." Spittle flew from her lips, her makeup black tracks down her cheeks. "He's my Liam's, too. Not just yours." She waved violently around her. "Your little magical clique."
Were we? Paranormal bullies preventing her from knowing her grandchild?
"I'm sorry," I said, dull and drained. "Of course you can see him."
Mom muttered something, her power trying to intervene, but I shook my head, frowned at her.
"Mom," I said. "If it was you?"
Her stern, angry expression faded, shoulders slumping.
Charlotte came to me, her wolf appearing in her eyes as she reluctantly handed Gabriel over. I smiled down at him, a bit of my guilt fading, absorbing his sweetness. But even he was tense, not himself. As though the push of power coming from Sonja troubled him.
Or maybe it was my remorse. Way to lay blame, Syd.
Especially when I felt Sonja's entire energy change as she drew a loud breath, both hands over her mouth.
"He looks just like Liam." She sobbed once, reached out. "Like he did when he was little, he grew so fast." A pile of questions woke in my mind as our eyes met, smiling at each other, mother and grandmother sharing a moment over this very special boy.
It snapped when she froze, her frown returning. She wiggled her fingers at me as she shook her arms, insistent, demanding. "Give him to me."
I held her eyes, felt again, in my memory, the sting of the slap she delivered, the night we sent Liam to his funeral pyre, all connection to her fading as her desperation turned from joy at seeing her grandchild turned back to hate for me.
Wanted to turn and run, to keep my son from the woman who almost killed her own, who supported the Unseelie lordling who destroyed her family. Murdered her husband. Sent Liam's grandfather, Fergus, to the Sidhe realm.
Mom was right. How could I trust her?
And yet, how could I keep Gabriel from her?
My arms unbent slowly, my body leaning toward Sonja. For an instant, we held him together, and then, he was in her embrace and I leaned back.
Held my breath.
Gabriel looked up into his grandmother's eyes.
And began to cry.
The entire gathering froze, shocked by the sound. I was certain my heart stopped completely, would never beat again. Sonja bounced Gabriel in her arms, trying to soothe him, her agitation growing as my son wailed his unhappiness into the night air.
I didn't snatch him back. Not quite. But his removal from her presence was decidedly fast. He instantly calmed, all smiles and giggles again, as though he'd never been upset. But the look on Sonja's face told me the last shards of her heart were shattered.
And I honestly couldn't bring myself to feel bad for her. Not now.
Gabriel's judgment I trusted absolutely.
"I think it's time you left." Mom gestured, two Enforcers appearing in the air overhead in double flares of blue fire. Sonja coughed a further sob before jabbing a finger in my direction.
"You've ruined everything." She almost sounded like Gabriel, words garbled, voice a scream. "Everything."
I turned my back on her. Felt her spin and stagger away, Sidhe magic flaring as she pushed through the watching, protective circle of magical family and friends. I held still, my smiling baby waving his hands at me, until the sound of her car screeching away faded in the distance.
Mom's hand settled on my shoulder as I turned back. Nodded once to her, as understanding dawned. Sonja had gone back to the Unseelie. The touch of it was all over my son. No wonder, as sweet and innocent as he was, Gabriel rejected her. Because the Unseelie on this plane were nothing like the ones I knew in the realm.
Sonja embraced the darkest part of her race.
And Gabriel knew it.
Realized my time off was over.
"We need to set up a babysitting schedule," I said, knowing I'd have a million volunteers. "I guess it's time I went back to work."
***
