Chapter 60: Beltane
I shifted under the weight of the heavy black velvet cloak I was forced to wear to such witchy occasions and tried not to make my discomfort obvious to the gathered coven. Namely, to my mother who stood, similarly dressed, beside me. Surrounding me, suffocating me, was the press of the coven, about a hundred odd men, women and children, tied together by magic, chosen allegiance and blood lines.
At least the cloak was warm. It helped I bundled on a turtleneck and wool sweater before I left the house, but the cloak cut the last of the chill. I guess that meant it was actually good for something.
Fueled by my uncommon bout of optimism, I tried, really tried, to focus on my mother's droning voice as she began the evening's incantation, leading up to the power spike that I, Sydlynn Hayle, unhappy witch and demon child, would use to light the Beltane bonfire and welcome spring.
Yipee for me.
Still, I had trouble concentrating with all the extra crap floating around in my head. Crap I had as yet a chance to unload on my unsuspecting mother.
I arrived home, shaken and confused from my encounter with Demitrius Strong, to find the house empty of all but Sassafras. I wasn't about to confide in my cat about my boy troubles, no matter what his origins. I left him snoozing peacefully in a patch of traveling sunlight on the living room carpet and escaped upstairs before he woke up. While Sassy might be a help with someone like Demitrius Strong, matters of my heart were strictly off-limits.
I could only imagine the conversation with him about Brad. I shuddered as I closed my bedroom door and collapsed on my bed. Bad enough Sassy was actually a teenaged demon boy himself trapped in a cat's body. The thought of getting advice from him about my love life just made me nauseated even without magic involved.
I spent the next hour waiting for my mother. By waiting, I meant pacing. And doodling. And pacing some more. And cursing a little. She was still heavily shielded from me and I started to wonder why.
I heard the crunch of tires on pavement without feeling her, but grabbed my sweater and hit the stairs anyway. I was disappointed to enter the kitchen and find Erica waiting for me.
"Where's Mom?" I knew I was being ungracious but didn't really care.
"Nice to see you too, Syd," Erica raised an eyebrow. "Happy Birthday, by the way."
Fine, be that way. "Thanks." I hugged her quickly. "Now, where's Mom?"
Erica laughed a little, blonde bob swinging. She crossed her arms over her chest, striking a pose in her coordinated yoga outfit. I hated it when Erica tried to act cool.
"At the site. With the rest of the family. She sent me to get you."
"Nice of her to let me know," I growled, feeling left out. Especially since I planned to talk to her on the drive. Whatever. I would corner her at the site and fill her in.
I pulled my loose hair back into a ponytail and headed for the door. "Let's go," I said, pushing the door open with my back, hands still wrapping the elastic around my hair.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Erica nodded toward a bag hanging over the back of a kitchen chair. I groaned inwardly and retrieved my ritual robe before leaving her alone in the kitchen to follow or not.
Actually, it was best she followed. I still didn't have my driver's license and it was a long walk to the site.
I briefly considered telling Erica about what happened but held my tongue as she started chatting on and on about stupid, useless crap I knew she used as an attempt to bond or something equally as pathetic. The trouble with Erica was she always tried too hard. She would never lead her own coven, would always be second best because she cared too much about what people thought of her. Mind you, Mom cared, but never enough to let it get in the way of the good of the family.
At the site I realized my plan to corner Mom and spill my guts was highly optimistic at best and nuts at the outside. She was deep in the ritual already and I understood belatedly that was the reason I hadn't been able to reach her all day. Duh, Syd. Mom wasn't just my mother on days like Beltane. She was connected to the entire coven and, for that reason, her own essence was everywhere. I could feel her inside me as the awareness came, and I felt a little better. Maybe I was worried for nothing after all. If she was with me all day, maybe she already knew about Pain, Demitrius and the whole Brad situation.
I pulled the hated cloak from the bag, wrinkling my nose at the heavy scent. Mom obviously sent our robes out to the Vegas again. I loved Louisa and Martin, don't get me wrong, but Louisa was heavy into earth magic and her power flower was lavender.
I never had the heart to tell her it always gave me a headache.
By the time I shrugged my robe on and made my way to the center of the circle, marked by a giant pentagram, the sun set completely and the clearing, the coven site, was dark but for a periphery of candles forming a perfectly spaced ring all the way around us. I was assigned the job, once. Once. I suck at perfection.
I almost reached Mom when I was grabbed around the waist from behind. Meira grinned up at me through her cowl, skin its natural red glow, eyes fiery amber.
"Happy Birthday!" She hugged me again and I couldn't help but hug her back. "Did you get the card I made you?"
I flashed to earlier this morning that seemed like a week ago and smiled back.
"Thanks, Meems," I said. "It's wicked."
She glowed even more, reaching for my hand. Her robe hung way too big and made her look so much smaller than she was. In fact, she practically had to push half the length of her sleeves back to expose her hand. But, the magic infused in the cloth wasn't to be wasted, so the young ones were forced to wear robes they would wear as adults. I remembered being Meira's age and feeling like I played dress-up in my mother's clothes.
"Uncle Frank!" Meira left me in a rush, running to hug him and Sunny. The pair just arrived with sundown, a new addition to our ceremony. There had been a time when the vampires were excluded from all things coven, banned for being undead and, to some, unclean because of their need for blood. But, ever since Mom absorbed some vampire magic during the Moromond's attack, she insisted Frank and Sunny were welcome at all coven events and ceremonies. It caused a big stir among the more traditional of the witches, but no one chose to leave the coven over it and, in fact, some of the younger members welcomed the vampires with open arms.
Present company enthusiastically included.
I received a hard, warm hug first from Uncle Frank then from Sunny, who whispered, "Happy Birthday," before shoving something into my front pocket. I realized then I had as yet to open any of my gifts except for the necklace Brad gave me. Just thinking about it made me blush.
"Thanks," I whispered back.
"Not every day you turn seventeen." She smiled at me, ignoring the glares of a few of the coven members who gathered to begin the ceremony.
"I guess." I shrugged inside my robe. "Accidents happen."
Sunny laughed openly and I grinned. "Not to you," Sunny said. "Not tonight."
"If you don't mind," Celeste interrupted, her long brown braid hanging horridly from the side of her cowl like a noose, "it's time to begin and we need you to take your place."
She pointedly ignored the fact Sunny stood right next to me. I made a face at the tall, burly witch and linked arms with Sunny.
"We'll just go confirm with my mother," I said before leading Sunny off.
The vampire made funny choking noises, but when I looked over at her with concern, I laughed openly. She struggled not to laugh herself and finally lost the battle.
"You are so bad," she hissed at me around our giggles.
"Guilty," I said.
"You really shouldn't tease Celeste." Sunny tried for serious as we approached the center of the pentagram and Mom. Celeste reached her already and stood behind her to the left, scowling openly at us. "You will have to lead her one day and you need her respect."
The heavy scowl on the witch's broad, masculine face made me giggle harder. "She can suck it up," I said. I stopped and turned Sunny to face me. She was still smiling, but the old sadness I saw in her all the time showed behind her eyes. "You are a part of this family, Sunny, no matter what she or anyone else may say. Like it or not, you're one of us and she just has to get used to it."
I saw a couple of nods and heard the odd snort of anger from the cowls around us. I ignored them all and started walking again.
Sunny put one arm around my shoulders and hugged me in silent thanks before releasing me next to my mother, falling back into the crowd like the rest of the coven.
This was always the worst part, being in the center of the mass of witches, the focus of attention, all eyes trained on me, some approving, some hostile. I always felt like I was being torn down to what made me up, as though they were trying to decide if what held me together was strong enough or good enough for them.
I forced my shoulders back and met Mom's eyes. Whatever they expected, whatever I did or was in the past, things would be different from now on.
Yeah, right. At least my mom was aware enough to smile.
Which took me back to focus and my lack thereof. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't bring myself to be completely drawn in to the pull of energy. Something inside me, something I had no control over, fought tooth and nail to keep me apart from what went on around me. The power building, the surge that would light the Beltane fire, was about to be placed in my mostly incompetent and shaking hands and I had a sudden irrational flash of overactive imagination.
My luck, I would puke just before blowing us all up.
I actually sweated under my robe, chill of the first night of May forgotten as the droning grew in volume, the coven adding their voices to Mom's. I tried not to look at anyone and instead stared steadily at the flame of the nearest candle, breathing heavily through my nose to try to keep my fear from those around me.
Mom turned toward me, the power flowing into her, her hands reaching for me. I looked up at her in total and complete panic. I could see her lips moving, knew she intoned the last words of the Beltane spell, but couldn't hear a thing through the roaring in my ears. I froze, completely lost, anxiety cresting as I realized I had no idea what to do with the ball of light she held out to me, face calm and expectant.
I totally blanked.
This wasn't some stupid math test. This was Beltane. I was responsible for the well being of the coven, for the ritual tying us to the four elements and the seasons through the reawakening of the world. Our very connection to the magic feeding us. Without the completion of the ceremony, our coven would be weakened and we'd have to wait six months until Samhain in November to renew the energy with no guarantee the power there would be available ever again.
No pressure or anything.
I seriously thought for one brief heartbeat I was going to pass out. I could feel the coven collectively draw a breath and hold it as they waited for me to screw this up.
A tiny hand slid into mine. Warm fingers pressed life into my freezing ones and broke my cycle of terror. All of a sudden, I could think again. The knowledge of exactly what I had to do came flooding back and I squeezed Meira's hand once, gently, gratefully, before letting her go and learning to breathe all over again.
I reached out to my mother, seeing the surety in her face. She didn't doubt me, not for one second, unlike some of the others, and I took strength from that. No matter our differences, Mom trusted me completely and I really didn't want to let her down.
"Welcome, Beltane," I said, happy my voice came out strong and steady. "Welcome, Spring to our mother the Earth." I drew some power from the glowing sphere, letting it cling to my fingers before flinging it to the ground where it was absorbed instantly. "To our Sister the Wind." I repeated the motion to the sky, watching the flickering blue fire scatter from my fingertips. "To our Brother the Water." I turned a quarter turn and flung the power at the basin of water waiting for me. "And to our Father the Fire." I lifted the ball from Miriam's hands and faced the huge pile of wood and branches specifically laid and spelled for the occasion. "Welcome and fill us with the power of your new life." I threw the ball of power at the bonfire.
Blue flame licked over the wood laid there and I watched, actually fascinated for the first time in my life, as the magical flames engulfed the bespelled wood and lit it alight with supernatural fire.
I sagged for a second when it was done, relief flooding me. I did it without screwing up or throwing up. Amazing.
No time to celebrate. As the flames licked higher, I felt the surge of familiar power as the thing that escaped me the night of the field party made its presence known.
Instantly, the coven, already linked through the ceremony, acted as one to fortify our shields.
I could feel its amusement and despair, licks of emotions coming and going as its magic swelled and faded.
It had been hovering around our weak defenses for quite some time. It let us know without words, only visions from its memory, its vile and disgusting mind filthy in our collective thoughts. Flashes of us from its twisted point of view came and went, tinged with hate. Its presence chuckled as it showed us what it witnessed, that it thought us soft. The final snapshot settled on me. I trembled as the thing passed through me at the same moment, tendrils like slim ribbons of red tinged power feeding the same sucking sensation pulling at my magic. A squeak of fright escaped me and I reached out for support but knew instantly no one else felt the draw I did.
Almost no one. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when Quaid's hand suddenly filled mine and our magic swelled together. It felt different, though, as though something stood between us, a small thing with little energy, but enough I wasn't able to fully break through it.
So why then, still vulnerable and exposed, did I find myself actually reaching for the horrid, leeching creature on the other side of the coven's shield?
***
