Chapter 356: Quaid's Loyalties
Charlotte kept her distance as I started walking. Not toward my dorm, not yet. I couldn't sleep yet. Instead, I began a slow circle of the Yard, head down, eyes locked on the path, but mind far away as I struggled with my emotions. Now that Sassafras was on the job with the boys, all of the pain and confusion came rushing back.
We had only gone half way around the circle, tall trees drenching the Yard in deep shadows, when Charlotte's soft hiss pulled me to a halt. I looked up and caught sight of Quaid outside what had to have been his dorm.
With her. The honey-blonde pressed against his arm, a low laugh reaching me through the dark and quiet. He laughed in return, head bent toward her. An intimate moment, one reminding me of the same connection he and I shared.
I wanted to be angry, to be jealous. But as I stood there in the night and forced myself to gulp cool air while I watched the guy I loved with another girl, my heart, already in trouble when it came to Quaid, shrank and cracked in half.
Charlotte's gentle hand on my arm turned me around, forcing me to look away. "He's not worthy," she growled.
I shrugged and glanced their way again. They hadn't kissed or anything, at least not that I'd seen. Was I overreacting? Looking for trouble, just like he said?
I let Charlotte lead me home, slipped into my room, grateful Sashenka was still out. But I didn't sleep, couldn't. Tried a few times to lie down only to toss and turn and leap up again while my mind and what was left of my heart tortured me over Quaid. Was she still with him? Did he love me anymore or had things really changed? I hadn't felt it from him. The connection between us was still there. Surely if he didn't love me, if he wanted to be with her, he'd have severed our magical touch.
Wouldn't he?
I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to see him, talk to him. And not just using magic. I needed to be able to touch him, to look in his eyes when I asked him the hard questions. The ones I didn't want to ask.
But I also couldn't have Charlotte hovering and watching, either. A brief shot of guilt was all I allowed myself as I fetched my sweater and sent out a very subtle, very gentle touch of magic across the hall.
Charlotte wasn't sleeping, not really. Her mind was more in some kind of meditation mode. Did she ever sleep? All it took was a very soft push and she was out like a light.
I still snuck as quietly as I could past her door, just in case, not breathing a sigh of relief until I was out the door of the Hall and in the Yard. Free, a new kind of dread took me over. Was I ready for what Quaid might tell me?
My feet dragged over the grass as I forced myself to cross to his dorm, wrapping myself in a bit of magic to make sure no one saw me. I felt like I was breaking some kind of law, or doing something wrong, but I had to know, had to see him.
No matter what the cost.
I was forced to wait in the shadows while two freshmen, normals from the look of them, passed through the main door before I reached out and felt around for Quaid. His power latched onto mine immediately, but it was clear from his touch he wasn't alone.
I bit back a sob, only to realize there were multiple people with him, not just her. It made things a little easier when his mind touched mine, gentle, tender.
Give me two seconds.
I felt him through the connection as he continued to hold onto me, banishing his friends from his room. His power cradled me like I was something precious until he was alone again.
I didn't bother using the entry, but rode the veil right to his door. Mom could just suck it up. And when she didn't comment or even seem to notice, I forgot about her entirely. My entire body clenched as I stood there for the single heartbeat it took for Quaid to reach his door, turn the knob, wrench it open.
The moment his eyes met mine all of my questions were answered. The love in the deep chocolate of his gaze drew me to him just as much as his strong hands as he reached out with his power and his body to pull me into his arms and kiss me like he'd missed me as much as I missed him.
I'm so afraid. I clung to him, the fire of his lips on mine making me shaky. I don't want to lose you.
Syd, Syd. His mind was wide open, his heart, for the first time completely and I could see and feel, as clearly as if it were my own, just how much he loved me.
Tears welled, spilled over, ran down my cheeks. He kissed them away, holding me even tighter, rocking me slightly as we stood there at the threshold of his room while his love for me filled me up so much I could barely breathe.
Yes. This. This true love, this feeling, the way we were perfect together, how our magic linked and meshed and flowed like we were two parts of the same whole. He was kissing me again, his hands touching me in ways I'd always wanted them to. There had always been something in our way before, some crisis or disaster, but here, now, for the first time, it was just me and Quaid and our love.
He didn't resist when I pushed him back into his room and kicked the door shut behind us.
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