Chapter 130: Options
Quaid's face shone very white in the low light. "Syd," he said, barely a breath of a word. "No."
I wasn't focused on him. Sunny watched me like I'd offered her something she wasn't sure was a blessing or a curse. "This is a massive request," she said.
"I know." I shook from the thought of it and almost wanted the now silent and hovering Quaid to talk me out of it. "But I'm right and we both know it. The family is going to need all the help they can get. And me on the sidelines isn't serving anyone."
"Syd, how can you ask me?" Crystal tears welled in her eyes. Sunny actually trembled a little. "Your mother would never forgive me."
"You did it before," I said. "And she forgave you for Uncle Frank."
Sunny shook her head, backing up a pace as if putting distance between us would make my words go away. "Not like this. It's not the same at all." She stilled visibly, going into creepy undead sculpture mode. "What if we locate your demon after you've been brought over?" She shook her head. "There are no guarantees in anything, dear Syd, least of all in power. You may end up as blocked as before if not worse, trapped for an eternity in a body that will not produce magic. And because of your undeath, it's likely you would never reconnect with your demon half."
Was I willing to take that chance? "I understand the risks," I said. "I really do. I've lived with this for a month and a half, struggled with every moment. And came to a decision." Okay, so I just came to it. She didn't have to know that. "I can't live like this anymore. I'd rather take the chance than be latent for the rest of my life."
Sunny still hesitated. "This could mean the end of the coalition between your family and the clan," she said so softly I had to lean closer to hear her. "And the end of my relationship with your uncle. And your mother. It may be worth the risk to you, but is it for me?"
She was right. I didn't know what to say. I was asking her to do something that would very likely make my mother turn on her like a rabid animal. Especially if it failed. I'd be not only useless to myself, I'd be useless to all of them in the magical war that would surely follow.
I hung my head. This was my last hope. Sunny stepped forward again and gripped my shoulders.
"I didn't say no," she said. "But I can't make this decision lightly." Sunny's hands dropped away. "I would value you as a member of the clan, Syd. But I think this path is only one of last resort and with full disclosure to all involved."
"Tell Mom, in other words." I hugged myself. "Okay. But if I decide this is what I really want and there's no other way, promise you'll back me up?"
Sunny thought about it another moment before nodding once. "I will," she said. "And gladly. I'm always here for you, no matter the consequences."
I glanced at Quaid. He looked like he was going to be sick. He held so silent aside from his initial protest I figured he wasn't going to say anything else.
Boy, was I wrong.
Quaid's eyes lifted to Sunny. "If you touch her," he said in his usual soft, deep rumble, "I swear to the magic that made me I'll kill you myself."
The beautiful vampire I'd known my whole life held statue still for a long moment. "If it is her will," she said, "I'll do it. But I understand your protective feelings of her, Quaid. I feel the same." So much regret in her. I wondered how much she carried around after who knew how long she'd lived.
I didn't need Quaid's protection. "This has nothing to do with you," I shot at him.
Quaid grabbed me, his hands holding me so tightly it hurt. "This has everything to do with me," he said.
"I would rather," Sunny interrupted, "find Syd's demon half and reinstate her."
I glared at Quaid who finally let me go.
"Me too," he said.
"Well, it's unanimous." I tried to keep the edge from my voice, but it was really hard. "Maybe someone would like to tell me how we're going to manage that."
"I'm starting my search tonight." Sunny's admission stirred another surge of anger inside me that no one had been looking after all. "And I will tell you what I discover as soon as I discover it. I promise. Syd." She hugged me again and this time the awkwardness had gone. She felt like the same old Sunny and it made me feel better. "I won't let you down."
I let her go, watching her shudder into shadow and vanish before spinning on Quaid.
"Way to threaten my uncle's girlfriend, especially when she's the only one who's trying to help me," I said.
"I'm not the one who suggested she make me a vampire." Quaid glared, face blank and cold. "That was the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth, and you've shot off some doozies."
"At least I have a back-up plan." Not much of one. I totally knew that. Still. "I don't see you suggesting anything else to help."
"As a matter of fact," he got in my space, "I was thinking we could work on finding out what this whole block is about. But I guess you're too busy pining over being undead."
Oooh. Jerk.
"Fine," I snapped. "Like it will do any good."
"Whatever," he grated back. "Won't know until you try, will you?"
Did he think I hadn't been trying? What was my torture with the Lawrence twins, a walk in the... never mind.
"Syd," he grabbed me again. This time his touch was intense, but not painful. The cold mask fell away, his fear and pain so clear I wanted to hug him and say I was sorry. "Please, promise me you won't go that far."
"I told Sunny the truth," I said, the edge gone from me as well. I just couldn't sustain it in the presence of his anguish. "I can't live like this. I hate it, Quaid. It's so hard." The tears welled, stupid tears. I felt weak when I cried, especially in front of him.
He pulled me against his chest.
"I get it," he said, the sound rumbling out of his body and into mine. "I really do. I remember what it felt like to be so weak when the Moromonds were draining me. I know it's not the same, but if I had to go back to that, I don't think I'd survive it. But, Syd, I need to know you won't do anything stupid, not before we have a chance to try everything."
I nodded against his T-shirt. "I promise," I said. "But if the time comes... Quaid, you have to let me go." I pulled away from him, swiping at my tears with the cuff of my sweatshirt. "You promise me."
He looked so grim, so alone. But he nodded. "I promise."
I hugged myself and tried to smile. "Trust me," I said, "the idea of becoming a vampire freaks me out so much I'll try just about anything before I resort to it. So if you do have any bright ideas? I'm all ears."
We retreated to a bench in the dark and spent the next hour reaching for each other. There was one brief and shining moment when I was sure Quaid made it through, when I felt the warm comfort of him inside my head. But it was gone as quickly as it came and left me in a state of such depression he finally walked me home.
I closed the back door behind me to the sight of Quaid watching me go.
***
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
