Chapter 173: End In Sight
I found myself congratulating Simon along with the others despite the look on his face. He did his best to be brave, but I knew that expression, had worn it a few times myself. The look of the newbie about to be thrown to the wolves of a new town.
Worse for him was the fact I knew he was only fourteen and going to college. College. I was headed there myself the following year and I still didn't feel ready. I could only imagine how afraid he was.
Before we had much of a chance to go beyond our uncertain kudos, we were interrupted. Angela chose exactly then to prove to her daughter embarrassment was the only love language she knew.
She clattered her way through the door, a drink in one hand, droplets splattering from the rim to paint the floor. Angela was as perfectly made up as usual, but there was a harsh plastic edge to her that always made me cringe. She smiled at us, the tight expression of a woman who was trying too hard.
"Hello, children!" Her high heels slid over the wetness she'd spilled, ruining her poise. Not to mention calling us all children. Classy. "I hope you're enjoying your little party?"
I tensed, about to leap to my feet and cut the woman off at the pass when I glanced at Alison. I'd never seen her so furious in my life.
She lurched forward, one hand grasping Angela's elbow. "Mother," she hissed, "you promised."
Angela jerked herself free, sliding further on the slippery floor, one heel scraping over the wood in a screech as the soft plastic cap came loose. "Where's the music?" She took a sloppy drink, ignoring her daughter. "Can't have a party without music."
My heart broke for Alison all over again. The tension in the room grew and grew as our friends sat frozen, their discomfort poisoning the air until I was sure I'd choke on it.
"Mother." Alison grabbed for her again. "We're not celebrating. Our friend is moving away."
Angela looked us all over. "Oh." She upended her glass and swallowed hard, a thin line of missed liquid running from the corner of her mouth. She dabbed at it with the cuff of her designer blouse, staining the pale pink silk. "Well, have fun." Angela absently patted Alison's cheek before turning toward the door. "Rosetta! My drink is empty."
No one said a word as Alison stood there, trembling and silent. There was nothing to say, really.
The party broke up a heartbeat later when Blood climbed to his feet and saluted us all. "Gotta run," he said. "Thanks for the soirée in honor, Al."
She did her best to recover but I was so afraid for her I wanted to shelter her and hovered at her side while the hugs went around. Everyone embraced her and I was grateful. Everyone but Tim that was, who just stood there and looked awkward.
I loaded Simon into my car after he tried to call his parents for a ride. I wanted a few minutes alone with him but needed to make sure Alison was okay first. I left him sitting in Minnie, gazing with gloom out the windows at nothing while I stood with Alison on the front step while the others drove off. Her smile was tight, and her whole body shook, just a little.
"Al," I grasped her arm, "I'm just going to run Simon home then I'll be back to help you take the deco down, okay?"
She shook her head, fake smile still present. "It's fine," she said, so much false perk in her tone I wanted to shake her. "I'll take care of it."
"But-"
She cut me off with a sharp jerk of her arm, pulling free. Her expression flickered to anger as she looked away. "Just let me deal with it," she whispered. "Please, Syd."
I backed off, sad, wishing there was something I could say or do. "Okay," I said. "Call me later?"
Her smile came back. "Sure." I watched her turn away, go back inside, close the door behind her. She was so frail, her mental state a wreck. I didn't have to have power to feel her insecurity. I just hoped she wouldn't start drinking herself, after witnessing her willingness to turn to alcohol at the lake house. But she made it clear I wasn't welcome at the moment, so I did as she asked and left her there.
Some friend, right?
My mind churned as I slid behind the wheel. Simon didn't say much, but a soft sigh from him pulled my attention back. I drove off, hoping I could at least help one of my friends.
Simon's black shoes swung, feet not reaching the floor, one heel thumping against the side of the door with annoying regularity.
"Want to talk about it?" Not that I really had a whole lot of good advice to offer. My usual response to moving to a new place was fit in and be as normal as possible. Kind of hard for a teen witch who repelled normals like I had the plague. But he had it much worse and we both knew it.
"It'll be okay." His voice still shook a little. Simon fiddled with his glasses, a sure sign he was upset. "Mom and Dad thought it was a good idea."
His parents needed a swift kick in their sense of reality. "Do you want to go?"
He shrugged, looking so tiny and forlorn next to me I would have hugged him if I wasn't driving. "I guess. It's a great opportunity."
Parrot. I sighed. I'd always known Simon was smart, but I had no idea he was that smart. So how then could he be such an idiot?
"Scared?" I whispered it.
It was a long time before he nodded.
"What school?"
"Harvard."
I let out a breath and actually smiled. "Perfect," I said.
He frowned a little, but there was hope in his eyes. "Why's that?"
"Because," I said, "you might be a year ahead of me now, but I'll be joining you after I graduate." Small comfort really, seeing as he'd be alone a whole year, but it really seemed to perk him up. He actually sat a little straighter, the horrible paleness leaving him.
"Really?" Simon's ready smile returned, his gums tinted by the purple juice he'd drunk at the party. "You already know you're getting into Harvard? That's awesome, Syd. Are you sure?"
Boy, was I ever. Founded by witches, their school hidden inside the same vaunted halls as the normals, Harvard University was the one and only place I could attend if I wanted to continue my magical studies. Either that or go to Europe and I wasn't really interested in that.
"Yup." I winked at him before smiling as gently as I could. "You'll be okay, Si."
He waved when I dropped him off, standing there for a long time while I drove away, a small figure in black in my rearview mirror. It broke my heart to see him standing there and me just driving off.
It made me want to do something nasty to his folks.
As I rounded the last corner toward home, I felt sadness creep in. Simon was leaving, Blood moving away. Even Beth seemed to be drifting off on her own with Tom. John? Jim? Whoever. And with Alison so fragile and Pain bound to be a mess for the next little while, my life and its circle of fun was rapidly shrinking to nothing.
When I'd first moved to Wilding Springs, all I wanted was to be normal. And to have friends. Nothing was more important, because I'd never had any before. But now I understood what losing them felt like, I kind of wished I'd let Alison keep pushing me around. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so lonely.
Now that I really knew what lonely meant.
I was a little surprised to find Pain standing in my driveway when I pulled up. She must have come right to my place after the party, though I wondered where Blood was and why she'd chosen me over him. I climbed out of Minnie and went right to her. She'd cleaned herself up some, though the faded tracks of black makeup still marked her skin like a disease.
"Hi." She breathed it, held her arms out to me. I hugged her and stroked her hair while she cried on my shoulder. This was Mom's job, really. But her car was gone and I couldn't feel her around so I guessed I'd have to do.
Pain finally pulled away, snuffling and wiping her nose on the cuff of her shirt. "Want to walk?"
I followed her down the street, strolling really, her heavy black boots thudding against the sidewalk, joined by the jingle of chains as her belt and many piercings collided musically. I hugged myself as we walked, wishing there was more I could do to help her.
"I'm afraid." Her voice hitched a little.
"Of what?" I was pretty sure I knew the answer, but maybe it would help her to say it out loud. Maybe that was what I was there for.
"Being alone." She looked off into the distance, feet scuffing the ground, hands jammed in the pockets of her black jeans. "Seems like I've been alone my whole life. Don't get me wrong," she grabbed my hand suddenly. "I'm so grateful to you and your mom and Ethpeal and everyone." Pain sighed. "It's just... I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere. But Blood, he understands me, you know? No one else does."
"He's pretty cool." Lame. So lame. But it did the trick. She smiled through her tears and nodded.
"He really is." This time when she sighed it was as if she tried to push all of her sadness out in one breath. "Oh Syd," she said, "what am I going to do?"
I stopped her, turned her around to face me. "Go spend as much time with him as you can before he leaves."
She shook her head. "He told me I had to go," she said. "That it would be better if I did." Pain sobbed once, face buried in her hands. "I can't stand it."
I hugged her again, there on the street, rocking her a little as she emptied her hurt out onto my shoulder. I fought off my own grief for her sake, refusing to dissolve into a blubbering idiot when she needed me to be strong.
It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, but I did it for her.
***
