41: Conflicted

**Oliver**

There was a sense of urgency in me as I climbed the stairs to Tristan's apartment unit. It had already begun earlier on in the week when I'd spoken to Jasmine and slowly it built up, bringing me to the point I was at now. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her about her sister, about the fact that Ambrose was about to launch an attack on the Alpha Conference happening this very day. Fuck, I even wanted to tell her the truth about the man himself. I just needed to get this uneasy feeling off of my chest, and I needed her to know what exactly she was getting herself into by carrying out this mission.

It took about five rounds of knocking and screaming my throat raw for her to finally come to the door. The sight that beheld me was the epitome of waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Tristan's normally neat and tidy hair was in a messy, tangled mesh on her head, almost like a burnt-up bird's nest. Her eyes were narrowed and had dark rings along the lower lids and on the side of her face was a red mark imprinted from her lying against her hand.

"What!" She spat.

"And a good morning to you too Tiger." I said with a nervous chuckle.

She raised a brow, stepped aside and let me inside. "I assume you're here for something important?" She said, moving towards the lounge area and taking a seat on one of her sofas. She gave a yawn and then motioned for me to sit too. But I was too uneasy to sit down, and I instead began pacing about the room.

"There's something I need to tell you, Tiger." I said and slowly began biting my nails. It was an old habit I possessed and one which resurfaced on the occasion of my getting nervous. I was just about to continue when Tristan interrupted me.

"Let me guess, you're here to tell me about my sister being alive?"

"Would you shut up and let me- wait, what?" I stopped my pacing immediately and turned towards her once again. She stretched lazily and then placed her feet on the sofa before motioning for me to sit, once again.

"Goddess I hate it when you pace like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable." She mumbled.

I made slow, steady, and rather confused steps towards the sofa. My nervousness had now completely vanished, only to be transformed into a heavy sense of uneasiness. If she already knew about her sister, what else did she know?

"I met her a few days ago," Tristan began as I settled into the softness of the cushion. It was then that a deep look of nostalgia glistened in her eyes, and she tilted her head back as if to properly recall the encounter. It was the first time I saw her think back on something so intensely.

"She's all grown now. When I saw her for the first time again, I could almost pinpoint her exact features. Beautiful blue eyes like our mother and soft, subtle features like our father. Although she's changed with time, standing there in front of her... it was as though nothing had changed." Her eyes then settled on mine and within her green orbs was something I hadn't seen in a while from her- it was a sense of wonder, and a sense of hope. It was subtle, and yet so overwhelming that I could almost not even bring myself to take another breath, in fear of washing that look away.

"You should have told me." She said. But not once did that look of hope turn into one of anger or resentment. It was almost as though the idea that I did not tell her in the first place was barely significant enough to taint the memory of her meeting her sister again. But it did bring a sense of guilt within me. She was right, I should have told her.

"I'm sorry..." I uttered softly.

"No matter." She said, brushing it off and then getting back to her feet. "Can I get you some coffee?"

Perhaps she didn't know everything.

"I didn't come here just to tell you about your sister though. Today, your fa-"

"I know. The Alpha Conference. You really are terrible at warning me in advance. So, coffee?"

I watched her walk towards the kitchen in absolute astonishment. She was right once again; I was clearly terrible at warning her about... anything really.

I accepted her offer for coffee, thinking that perhaps it would do me well at a time such as this one. She returned promptly with two cups of coffee in her hand and handed me one before taking her place across from me, on her sofa. She warmed her hands against the cup before taking a sip and sighing.

"I assume by your sense of ease that you've somehow managed to keep Ambrose from launching his attack on the Alpha Conference?" This was a question asked deliberately to find out how much she knew about the man she'd come to call "father".

"Oh no. You know father is not one to change his mind too often. Instead, I made him promise to guarantee my sister and her child's safety."

There were two pieces of vital information that I attained from what she'd said. Firstly, she did not know anything about the truth of Ambrose and what kind of horrid, cruel man he truly was. Secondly, and equally as important, Jasmine was pregnant.

"Did you just say child?" I asked to clarify.

She nodded. “But don’t mention it to her. I kind of sensed it using my annoying, yet helpful unique abilities. It’s our secret.”

"That's amazing news Tiger! First you find your mate, then your sister, and now you've discovered that you're going to be an aunt as well! Finally, things are turning around for you." I said, genuinely happy for both Jasmine and Tristan. Tristan, however, did not seem to reciprocate the feeling of joy. Instead, the expression on her face grew tense and uneasy. It was so subtly worn that if you did not truly know Tristan, you would have missed it.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She sighed deeply, ran her fingers through her hair and said, "I can't be Alpha without hurting Jasmine in the process... and Lucien too."

Her eyes lowered to the floor at the mention of Lucien's name, and I could tell that my little Tiger had clearly begun to take a liking to Lucien.

"You've developed feelings for him, haven't you?"

She let out a frustrated growl and then asked, "What does that even mean Oliver? What feelings have I developed?"

It was typical of Tristan to be so ignorant and unaware of her own feelings, especially considering the fact that she'd had to supress it all these years. And so, I began to explain.

"You care for him, don't you? And you're attracted to him, am I right? Whenever you're with him, you feel somehow connected, and not just because of the mate bond. Any of this sound familiar?"

She tilted her head to the side before nodding slowly. "A little. But having feelings for Lucien... it's too risky. Not only will it interfere with what my father has planned for me, but it also distracts me from my goal of becoming Alpha. Besides, he clearly is still confused regarding his own feelings for Jasmine. There are just so many reasons for me to completely remove him from my life."

I could tell that she was conflicted, not only regarding her feelings, but her duties. She was stuck in the middle, being forced to choose between her adoptive father and the title he promised her, and her sister and mate who promised to bring love and emotion back into her life. I could have, however removed her father completely from the equation by telling her the truth about him like I wanted to when I first arrived. But seeing her so open to emotion and so vulnerable prevented me from uttering a thing. If she found out about Ambrose at this moment in time, she'd be shattered completely. She'd succumb to all of that rage, sadness and pain that she'd kept bottled up, and I feared what that would do to her. And so, I remained silent on the matter of the truth of Ambrose. She'd find out one day just as she had found out about her sister. Hopefully by then she'd be ready to face the cruel reality of Ambrose's true connection not only to Damon, Lucien and London, but Tristan’s mother and her mother's death as well. But for that, she'd need to be stronger emotionally, and the only people clearly capable of getting her there were Lucien and Jasmine.

"You know," I began, "being Alpha isn't everything."

"Yes, it is," she retorted.

I frowned, got up from my sofa and joined her on hers. "It's not. The only reason you became so obsessed with that title was because you thought you had nothing left in the world. But today... you have everything Tiger. Yes, Lucien is still achingly confused regarding his feelings towards Jasmine, but I know that once he figures everything out, he'll realise that the woman he truly has feelings for is you. All you need to do is open up to him and let him open up to you. You have so much more now than you ever did. Are you seriously going to give it all up for a lousy title?"

She hesitated for a moment before shrugging. "I don't know Oliver. That's the million-dollar question, and I still can't seem to answer it."

A genuine flash of confusion glinted in her eyes before she ran her fingers through her hair again and sighed. "Why can't this be easier? Why can't I have both?"

I took a hand of hers in mine. It was warm, soft and familiar. She looked up at me, almost expressionless, but hidden behind that emotionless expression was a subtle sense of fondness.

"Life's all about sacrifices, Tiger. You know that better than anyone else."

In hindsight, perhaps I should have told Tristan the entire truth that day. Perhaps I should have exposed Ambrose for the sick, revenge-hungry murderer that he was. Perhaps then it would have saved Tristan from what was to come in the future.