69: Blood and family

**Tristan**

There was a place that Jasmine and I always used to fantasise going to when we were younger. It was a restaurant called Blue-Eyed Snoek. We’d spend many days walking passed the restaurant on our trips to the store with our mom or early morning walks with our dad. The decadent aroma of the food that was made there still lingered in my nose, even today. Lucien and I parked outside of the quaint restaurant, and although the exterior of it had changed over time, the delicious scent of food still smelled as it had all those years ago.

“It’s busier than I remember.” Lucien said.

I turned to him curiously and then asked, “You’ve been here before?”

I’d told him where we were going before we left home, but he hadn’t shown any sign of having heard of the restaurant beforehand.

“Yeah, Rose took us here often when we were younger.” As he said this, he sighed and smiled as though he were recollecting a fond memory and playing it out before himself. Then, he shook his head and turned towards me with a soft, sincere look on his face.

“You ready?” He asked softly. I took a deep breath and then nodded slowly.

The moment we stepped through the doors, the delicious scent of food grew stronger. It was warm inside and lit in a soft orangey glow. Wooden tables sat multitudes of people who ate and spoke and smiled and laughed merrily. The atmosphere in this place did a good job of making me relax and calming my raging nervousness. But all of my serenity disappeared the moment I met my sister’s warm blue eyes.

She smiled and waved. I did the same, only my smile was not as bright as hers. Lucien pulled out a chair for me and I sat down next to him. Once he’d taken his own seat, he placed an open hand on the table and then gazed at me expectantly. I gently moved my hand to his and then intertwined our fingers.

Jasmine and Damon’s eyes immediately landed on our held hands, then, they eyed each other momentarily before placing their eyes back on our hands.

“I take it your confession went well?” Jasmine asked. I gulped and then shook my head as a wave of nervousness flooded through me, surging through my stomach and then suffocating my throat.

Lucien saw my nervousness and tried to reassure me by gently stroking his thumb on the skin of the back of my hand. I took a quick look at him, and he smiled before nodding. Although I was still nervous, the fact that Lucien was right by my side gave me some sort of solace and so I began to explain what had happened between Lucien and me. I tried to be as detailed as I possibly could, especially when it came to my transgressions. I expected either of them to stop me when I mentioned Ambrose’s involvement in everything, but they did not. Instead, Damon and Jasmine sat in silence, both with blank faces as they took in and processed everything I had to say. I had tried to keep my composure throughout the duration of my explanation. However, as I reached the conclusion of it, namely my apology, my voice began to break here and there, and I struggled to bite back my tears. Hearing everything that I’d done, out loud, made me realise just how reckless and selfish I’d been. I’d risked the lives of everyone I’d grown to care for, all for something as stupid as being Alpha of a pack I now cared little for. Even I couldn’t find any reason for anyone to forgive me, and that just made me feel even more hopeless.

I felt Lucien’s fingers brush against my cheek as he wiped away the silent tears that fell down my face. I gazed up at him and he offered a reassuring smile as if to say, “It’s all over, you did it!” But instead of relief, I felt shattered and empty. My eyes almost instinctively wandered to the silent couple who now shared a look of confusion and conflict. It was Damon, however, who spoke first, and when he did, he sounded calmer than I expected.

“I don’t know what’s more shocking, the fact that my father is still alive or the fact that you had the ability to bring him back to life.” Damon said.

“You’re forgetting the part where she conspired with your father to destroy our pack.” Jasmine said sternly. I could see that unlike Damon, she was more angered by everything I’d said. I understood and expected her reaction, but it still made my heart ache to see that look of disappointment etched onto her usually cheerful face, only emphasising how badly I’d hurt her.

“Yes, she did conspire with my father to hurt us… but you and her grew up in different circumstances. She was moulded by my father who is essentially a monster. And although he may not have handled Tristan’s upbringing with as much hatred and violence as he did with me and my siblings, I’m sure he left a rather lasting psychological mark on her. What is important is that she decided to come here today and tell us the truth. It’s a sign that she’s made a decision to break free of whatever hold he had on her and make choices out of her own free will. Am I right?” Damon asked as he gazed at me. Still his demeanour was calm and collected and I could sense subtle hints of sympathy and understanding. It was refreshing, to say the least and made me feel a little less tense.

“You are right. I am truly sorry for everything… especially for putting you, Jasmine and her baby in harm’s way. I’m sorry for lying and for deceiving all of you. I know that from the beginning, the right thing to do would have been to tell you everything. But I’m afraid who I am right now is not the same person as who I was back then. Back then… I wasn’t too good at making right decisions.” I said as sincerely as I meant it.

Jasmine stayed silent for a moment before sighing and reaching out for my hand. Her voice was soft and steady as she spoke, but I could tell it was only because she was trying to remain calm. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed in you. Damon might not be as upset with you, but that’s because he’s used to family deception. I’m not. We’re sisters Tristan… you could have at least told *me*. I could have helped you.” The more she spoke the tighter her grip got and the louder her voice became. Not once did I say anything though. I was too consumed by the look on her face. It made me want to break into a fit of unending and uncontrollable tears which I so desperately fought to hold back.

“It’s not like you’ve been a saint your whole life either, Jasmine. No one at this table has, so give her a break!” Lucien said rather aggressively. His tone caught Jasmine by surprise, as though she weren’t used to him being this hostile towards her. She let go of my hand and stared at him silently while I retracted my hand and took a moment to compose myself. Although I didn’t like Lucien’s harshness, I was grateful that he’d spoken. If I’d spent a moment longer under Jasmine’s hurt and disappointed gaze, I would have completely broken down. 

“Hey! You don’t have to yell at her you asshole!” Damon yelled, not liking Lucien’s harshness either.

But Lucien was unphased by his brother and continued on. “Yes I do! Hearing about Tristan’s struggles isn’t the same as actually seeing or experiencing them for yourself. That day when she and our father battled, you weren’t there. And you weren’t there afterwards. You didn’t see how sick she was… all because she decided to choose us. All because she decided that she loved us more than the people who raised her when she had nothing and no one. She was taught not to love; she was taught not to *feel*. Despite what I did to you, Jasmine, you were always allowed the freedom to feel what you wanted to feel. She wasn’t. You couldn’t have just expected all of those years of swallowing what she felt, to disappear the second she saw you. Yes, you have the right to be mad at her, but don’t play the family card when it’s clear that you hardly know her enough.”

I should have stopped him somewhere, or at least, that was what I told myself. But I couldn’t find it in myself to say anything to him. Instead, tears began to stream from my eyes and silent soft sobs left my lips. Nothing could excuse the bad choices I made… but the pain that came from making the right choices to fix those bad ones had finally sunken in and all I could do was sit there and be consumed by it.

As expected, Damon attempted to yell at Lucien again, but this time, he was stopped when Jasmine touched at his arm and then hushed him before turning back to Lucien.

“I see that you’ve figured out what real love is. I’m glad. But you’re wrong… despite everything, Tristan is still my family. Perhaps I was a little more reluctant to forgive her because I felt guilty for not knowing her as well as I should have… but now I feel jealous that you seem to know her more than I do. I’m sorry, Tristan. I am mad, but I don’t think I should be disappointed in you, especially after knowing so little about what happened in your life… and I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve gone through. I wish I’d been there to shelter you from it like I aways had when we were younger.” She now spoke gently and soothingly. She reminded me a lot of our mother, especially when she had that sincere, forgiving look in her eyes. Slowly she reached out and wiped the tears from my face before smiling reassuringly. I smiled too and let out a chuckle.

“So everything’s finally fallen into place.” Damon said with a smile.

“Well… not quite,” I said, losing my smile in the process. Jasmine and Damon both shared a look of confusion, and so I explained.

“I may have defeated Ambrose and bought us some time, but that’s all I’ve done. Eventually, he will attack us and unfortunately, I will be of very little help because I won’t know the plan of attack he would have hatched up. My idea is that we attack first. We round up some allies and then attack them on their packgrounds. I know the place like the back of my hand so I’m more than capable of pointing out all of their weak points. It’s going to take some time, but if we plan correctly, we may just succeed at finally putting an end to Ambrose and his madness.” I said.

“You make a valid point… with your expertise and your knowledge, I’d like you to take charge of the planning and implementation alongside your sister and I, if you’d be interested.” Damon said kindly.

My eyes widened and I looked at Lucien in surprise. “Oh, and obviously that idiot needs to join too.” Damon added.

“Y-yes. We’d be more than happy to help.” I said, startled that after everything, they’d trust me enough with this. Then again, it wasn’t as though they had a choice. Ambrose was still out there, and Goddess knew how badly he craved bloodshed, more so after I’d humiliated him so badly. 

***

When we had finished eating, Lucien went out for a smoke and dragged Damon along with him. I assumed it was to give Jasmine and I some time alone.

The first thing she said once they’d left was, “So, you really have blue eyes?”

I nodded before leaning in a little closer and then let them shine their bright blue colour. She gasped in amazement and then said, “They’re beautiful! I sort of envy you for them.”

“Please don’t. They’re more of a curse than a blessing. The consequence of using my abilities have begun to outweigh the beauty of them.”

We fell silent and then Jasmine said, more quietly, “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you were sick. Lucien looked so worried when he spoke of it earlier on.”

I sighed before thinking back to how much of torture I’d gone through and then said, “It’s practically hell for my body… but if I had to do it all over again, I would, time and time again. I’d do anything to keep you all safe.”

Her eyes flashed in sadness and then she said, “It shouldn’t have to be that way. You should have never had to go through something as awful as that in the first place… but you did, so thank you.” After she said this, she tried to reach over the table and hug me, but her belly prevented her from getting very far. So, I stood up, walked over to her and then engulfed her into a tight embrace. She was so warm and feeling her arms around me felt comforting and safe. It reminded me so much of when we were younger, and she’d hug me whenever I cried or was upset. Back then, they were the cure to most of my childhood worries and although the problems that I faced now were much bigger than the ones I faced back then, I still felt peaceful wrapped in her arms.

“It’s like I’ve watched you grow up in such a short period of time.” She whispered against my clothing. We then let go of each other and I returned to my seat before a surprisingly mischievous look appeared on her face. “You told me your confession with Lucien didn’t go well,” then she glanced towards the outdoor smoking area where Damon and Lucien were playfully arguing, “but it seems to me it went really well. I’ve never seen him that hostile towards me and that protective over anyone else. It seems you’ve really done the impossible. You’ve stolen the man’s heart.”

I was so focussed on the nervous feelings I had towards my confession to Damon and Jasmine that I had set aside the feelings that still lingered from the confession Lucien had made days ago. It was then that I began to delve into the details of how it was that, even after my own failure of a confession, Lucien and I had ended up on the exact same page.

“…and then” I said, reaching the climax of the great ‘Tristan/Lucien Saga’, “he told me he loved me. At first, I thought he was joking, but eventually I realised that he was actually serious. Ever since then, things have been different between the both of us. I don’t know but… is it possible that I’ve fallen even deeper in love with him?”

Jasmine squealed and then giggled. “Oh God! Look at you, you’re all red just talking about him. It’s adorable to see you this smitten. I don’t think there’s any going back for either of you now.”

I touched my hands to my cheeks. They were warm. Even my heart had begun to thud erratically in my chest. “No… I suppose there is no going back,” and as I said this, Lucien and Damon returned from outside.

Lucien gazed at my face curiously as he sat down and immediately, I felt my cheeks burn up even more.

“Your face is so red, is everything okay?” He asked concernedly, and then touched his cool hands to my warm face. “Oh Goddess, you’re burning up. Y-you aren’t getting a fever again, are you? I thought you were feeling better.”

Immediately I took his hands off of my face and nervously looked away. I was comfortable with being a mess around Lucien, but not in front of others. “I-I am better… it’s nothing.”

He raised a brow and then both of his brows raised in realisation and a small smirk tugged at the side of his mouth.

“Jasmine, Damon.” He uttered out loudly as he turned to the both of them, “It was great having dinner with you. You both will inform us as to when we can get together again to discuss the plan of action regarding operation ‘kill our resurrected dad’. But for now, Tristan and I need to get home, she’s looking a little ill.”

“But I just said-”

He cut me off with a single stern gaze.

“I assume you two aren’t returning to the house on the packgrounds?” Damon asked curiously.

Lucien shook his head. “No. Thank you for offering me a temporary place to stay, but I think it’s time I go back to where I belong.”