Love like poison

When I regained consciousness, I found myself lying on the floor of a moving van, still paralysed and with Macy sitting to the side of me, watching me intently. She smiled as she watched my eyes flutter open and then said, "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty! We're almost there."
Surprisingly I found that I was now able to speak with my face being able to finally move. And so, I asked with a raspy voice, "Where's there? Where are you taking me, Macy... and why are you doing this."
Macy grinned and then began leaning back as she stared out at the opposite side of the van.
"Where we are going... well we're taking you on a trip, a blast from the past, so as to speak. Why am I doing this? Well, it's because he loves you, and not me."
I frowned at her, still confused at it all. "A blast from the past? What do you mean by that, and who loves me? In case you haven't noticed, I've had many people loving me in my life."
And with this answer she raised her hand and sent a hard slap across my face, leaving my cheek red and stinging and my eyes slightly teary. I was going to slaughter this bitch once she let me go.
"Wow, such a bragger. Honestly, Jasmine, who else could I be talking about. There is only one man that I love, one man that you stole from me. I deserved to be his lover, especially after everything we had been through."
And it was then that I realised exactly who she was talking about. Damon.
"So," I began, trying really hard not to just blow my gasket, "you're telling me that you are helping Lucien because I am Damon's mate... no, because Damon doesn't love you? What the fuck is wrong with you. Are you insane?"
She then turned towards me and I could see the pure uncapped insanity roaring in her eyes as she uttered, "Insane? I guess you could say that. Why do you think I killed your friend Loren? And person who gets too close to Damon, I will destroy!"
My blood began to boil at the mention of Loren's name and I finally snapped.
"You bitch. I will kill you for everything you've done, and I'll enjoy it too." I seethed out. But Macy just shrugged and began humming a familiar tune as she returned her gaze to the opposite section of the van. It was only when she had completed the song that she began speaking again.
"Oh and, by the way, Damon will not be excluded from this stage of our little game. I know that all day you've been trying to keep him away but... Lucien and I can't let that happen. This game is based on pure, unending suffering, and what better way to suffer than watch the one you love, suffer. And boy oh boy, are you going to suffer, Jasmine. You managed to save one person, Jade, because we wanted you too. But now, you will no longer be free of bloodshed. You are going to have to let people die today, or risk losing the people you love."
My heartrate quickened at this and, although I had no clue what she was talking about, I began to have a sudden nauseating feeling that perhaps I did not want to know what she meant at all. Perhaps it would be best to turn my emotions numb, as numb as my body was at the moment.
It took a while for us to get to our destination and all the while Macy attempted to make small talk, eventually describing how exactly she wound up becoming a backstabbing pain in the ass.
"... After high school my parents split, mom took up drinking and dad decided he didn't give a damn. I had no money for college, a part-time job which paid close to nothing and a younger sister I had to support. And that's when he approached me with a contract. It was a grand contract. I'd become a Vixen for a few years, just until I had enough to stand on my feet, and eventually pay him back. I guess I have made enough to stand on my own feet, but paying him back... well that seems like an impossible concept. The only person who seemed to have wanted to pay Lucien back for everything was you. The rest of us, we'd die for him if we had to. That is how loyal Vixens are. You disgrace us, Jasmine."
I spat out at her, especially at the mention of 'disgrace'.
"The only person disgraceful is you-"
"You know I didn't really even know your name until Damon accidentally let it slip one day in the diner. Lucien refused to tell anyone who his treasured little trophy was. We were only tasked with looking for you. A young woman with short, black hair and icy blue eyes. But when I finally met you, your hair was long and blonde and for a moment, you looked so innocent. So incapable of wrong. And then suddenly Damon showed up, well that was my fault. Apparently he was looking for you as well and, because Lucien had put all his Vixens-turned-wolves on suppressants, I really could not even tell that the two of you were mates, not until I saw you together. And that's when I decided to increase my debt with Lucien. I wanted to make you suffer as well, and I wanted his brother to suffer too. And that's when I finally became a pawn on Lucien's chessboard as well, taking my place as your friend, the woman you trusted, protected and cared for. It gave me enough emotional influence over you. Poor Jasmine, always wanting to play the hero. In a way, you're quite similar to Lucien don't you think? You both think you're the lesser of two evils. You're both guided by emotion, not reason. And you both have been reliant on and dare I even say in love with each other."
I looked up at her and grunted. "I was never in love with Lucien."
Macy scoffed and kicked my face sending blood splattering all over the floor. "Please. You can lie to yourself, everyone does, but don't you dare lie to me. Because if you didn't love him, you and I both know you would have killed him a long time ago. You are a killer, Jasmine, born and bred. That is who you are. You kill because it's instinctive. You kill because that's how you are wired. It's unlike people like Loren and I, we kill because we consciously do it for fun. But you, you kill because it's how you were designed. You seek vengeance, justice and balance. And Lucien upset that balance the moment he started killing the people who hurt you, and the people you got close to. The only thing stopping you from killing him in return, or at least attempting to kill him must be your love for him."
I remained silent for a while, unable to say anything to defend myself or make any excuses. She had me all figured out, perhaps better than anyone else, not even Damon or Lucien himself. Perhaps she was me, a crazier, love deprived version. And it had me wondering if I would have ended up like her if Lucien hadn't found me when he did. For her, it was too late for any saving. She had discarded the sane image of love and taken on the twisted version, something Lucien had been careful to protect me from, until now. Perhaps I was turning Lucien into Macy, slowly rotting him from inside out with insanity. Turning his once pure and innocent love into love like poison.
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If you want to have a refresher on Damon's slip up, then revisit the chapter titled 'Secrets'.
Also, I have a question, do you agree with Macy? Do you think Jasmine loves Lucien? Your opinions and answers are greatly encouraged, I love reading your thoughts and points of view so please, don't be shy! I don't bite!
Stay safe! Stay healthy! Sending you all my love!