Mom

When the darkness had faded, I found myself in the familiarity of the woods, right outside of my packgrounds, disorientated and confused. I knew this would happen, but I just never expected it to be all so... real. The feeling of the wind blowing gently against the skin of my arms, the smell of pine trees through my nostrils, the taste of my sweat on my tongue as I licked my lips. It was quite overwhelming, and I was absolutely certain that at some point, I'd forget this all was not real.
It took a moment, or so, for me to get my bearings around it all. The trees to my left looked the same as the trees on my right. The trees in front of me, where the exact same as the trees behind me, and soon I found myself relying on scent and instinct to get myself to the packgrounds. As I passed the greenery, I began to wonder which exact memory I was reliving. This situation, of me finding my way out of the woods was a normal occurrence for me, and so I found it difficult to place this one in memory.
Once I'd made it to the edge of the woods, right at the foot of the pack grounds, I stared out in shock at the homes on it. They were all small and cottage-like. The place was filled with foliage and there were no signs of roadways for the vehicles of the pack members to drive on, to work. In fact, there were hardly any cars, save for a few old vehicles parked into open driveways along the cottages. How far back in time was I?
"Hey Damie!" I heard a familiar voice shout to the left of me. I froze at the sound of it. Only one person in the world had ever called me that.
As I turned to the person who'd called to me, I was met by soft, gentle golden eyes, contrasting to the sly, darkness the owner of them now possessed. In fact, Lucien's whole face looked so different, and yet so refreshingly familiar. His handsome features were softer, younger, almost still boyish and for a while I just stared at him, overcome by nostalgia and overcome by this strange, immense feeling of sadness. I wanted to hate him, I honestly did, and for a while I tried to make myself remember all of the absolutely twisted things he'd done to Jasmine and me. But no matter what my mind conjured up, no matter how torturous those little scenarios were that played around in my head, I could not bring myself to hate this young man in front of me. How could I when I *knew* this version of him, and when I loved him more than I loved anyone else in my crazy, dysfunctional family. His soft, sweet and angelic aura only made it worse, making it seem as though I were in the presence of pure, infinite goodness right in front of me. And so, without thinking, I grabbed my brother and pulled him into a tight embrace, reminiscing as I held onto him and sniffed deeply. His scent was always spicy and had the subtlest of caramel undertones to it. It was comforting, and I found myself on the brink of tears. After the deaths of my parents, I'd made it a point to compartmentalise my emotions and so, by the time my brother had left London and I, I'd learned to compartmentalise that as well and eventually, I'd begun to forget about him, letting him be a small little afterthought in the back of my mind. However, ever since Jasmine, the shelves of my mind had been dismembered, and much of what had been placed into compartments had ended up disorganised and shoved into the forefront of my head. Which was why right now, as I clutched onto my brother, and began squeezing him tighter, I could not help but come to terms with the fact that I had been missing him dearly to the point where I now wanted to freeze this exact moment in time and hold onto it for a while longer.
"Woah there brother, I know it's been an agonizing half an hour, but you're going to suffocate me to death if you carry on squeezing me so tight."
But I couldn't let go of him, not when I knew that this version of Lucien was the brother I once loved so deeply.
"Come on Damie, we've got to get going. Mom and dad are waiting for us-"
I froze at the mention of my parents and finally let go of Lucien, gazing up at his face, startled. "M-mom and dad?"
He nodded slowly and then gripped me at the shoulders as he stared at me confused. "You haven't forgotten, have you. Today's their anniversary dinner."
Right at that moment, I was sure the colour was beginning to drain from my face and my entire body began to tremble and shake.
"Damie, are you alright?"
I looked up at him, already on the brink of tears as I began to realise exactly where in the timeline I was. Today was the day my father had died... the day I had killed my father.
Out of all the memories I had, this had to have been the saddest, most traumatic, and for a moment, I contemplated getting myself out of this dream-state. I had no desire, none whatsoever, to relive the death of my father. The action alone was enough to completely destroy me and I was sure it would have the same effect on me this time round as well. And, as I gazed up more intently at Lucien who still looked down at me concerned, I found it hard to believe that he'd ever let me relive this moment again.
"Damie?" He uttered out again.
I pulled away from him and managed to muster up a smile. If this was my punishment for my betrayal to my brother, then I'd take it, not because I believed that I needed to be punished, but because I knew it was the only way to stop him from punishing the woman I loved as well.
"I'm alright Lucien. I'm alright."
He stared at me for a moment more, trying to decipher what was actually wrong- he was always good at that- and then uttered out again, "You sure? You don't have to go to dinner if you don't want to. I could vouch for you. I know you hate it when mom and dad are together in the same room. If I'm being honest, I hate it too."
I didn't remember Lucien ever saying this to me before. In fact, this conversation was completely different to the one that actually happened the day of my father's death. Perhaps this was part of the realism and manipulation Nancy spoke of.
"I-it's not that. I'm just feeling a little sick."
"It was London's flapjacks this morning. If you ask me, the eggs were definitely rotten." He said as he placed his arm over my shoulder as we began walking forward towards our home. "And you won't believe it, I saw her and Amber together today. I told you the two have a thing. That's ten bucks for me."
I'd forgotten how lighthearted he was, even more lighthearted than I was.
"How about we wager a new bet, one that cancels out our previous one," I said, making small conversation as we reached the gates to our large home which was smaller than it was at present, and much more old fashioned.
Lucien raised an eyebrow and his lips pulled up into a playful smirk, "Okay, go for it Damie. Always such a businessman. What is it now?"
"I bet the two of them have already been found out by mom and dad." It was an almost harmless bet, if I'd not already known the devastating outcome.
Lucien fell silent for a moment, deep in thought as the gears shifted in his mind, and then nodded and held out a hand for me to shake. "Agreed, brother. Besides, you can afford to lose, what with your company rising in popularity."
Lucien chuckled, and I did too, though not as lightheartedly as he did. All laughing stopped, however, when we reached the door and Chester opened it before we even had the opportunity to knock.
"Mr. and Mr. Michaels. Late... again." He uttered. He was not wrong though. Although I liked to be punctual, there were always exceptions. Family dinners were one of them.
"Sorry Chester. I was out looking for Damie and Damie of course, was out looking for himself in the woods, as always."
Chester chuckled and then stepped aside to allow us to enter the door.
"Oh, and Damon, your mother wants to see you. She's in the kitchen."
*My mother...*
My heart tugged at the thought of seeing her again, at laying my eyes upon her beautiful face and calling out to her. I hadn't said "Mom" in such a long time that now, as I hurried my way to the kitchen, it sounded foreign to me as I said it over and over again in my mind.
Once I made it to the doorpost of the considerably small kitchen, I froze as her sweet scent wafted into my nose and I closed my eyes for a second, holding it in my nose and basking in the sweet familiarity.
"Damon honey, what are you doing over there, come in."
And it was the sound of her voice that broke me down completely. Immediately I ran towards her, pushing past Andrea, and then wrapped my arms around her, clutching onto her for dear life.
"Mom..." It left my mouth in a soft whisper, and as I said it, warm, salty tears began flowing from my eyes and the teardrops began falling onto her blonde hair.
"Well, I'm surprised you're so excited to see me... you and your brother didn't do anything wrong... did you?" She whispered lowly in her sweet, melodic voice. I then looked up into her soft brown eyes, which softened as they stared down at my tear-stained face.
"No mom... I-i-it's just... I love you mom." I said softly.
She smiled deeply and ruffled up my hair before saying, "I love you too my beautiful boy. Now, why don't you go and get ready and then come down to the dinner table for some good food. I can't promise that your father will be on his best behaviour, but I can promise you that I'll be on mine."
But unfortunately, I knew for a fact that my father would definitely not be on his best behaviour.
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Merry Christmas to all of my wonderful readers! I hope you had or are having a blessed day!
Stay safe! Stay healthy! Sending you all my love!