67: I love you, Tristan

**Lucien**

Oliver was right, night-time was like hell. Tristan spent most of it hunched over the toilet, vomiting up blood and screaming in agony. It was a night without sleep for the both of us as I spent every second of every minute of every hour right by her side either clutching at her warm hands or holding her hair back or rubbing at her skin. The only one in the house who had found sleep and embraced it fully, was Calista whom Oliver had brought earlier on in the night. She was happy, to say the least, to see me and yet uneasy at the same time. Perhaps she could sense that all wasn’t quite right with Tristan.

“You know, you d-don’t have to do this?” Tristan said weakly. We were an hour away from sunrise and still, wide awake.

I gazed at her confused and then asked, “Do what?”

“Care. You don’t have to feel sorry for me, or guilty. It was my choice. I chose you and I will bear the consequences. I don’t want you to feel obligated to help me. I’m used to dealing with these things on my own.”

I realised then that she still thought I didn’t love her. She thought this was all out of pity more than out of love and it was written in the soft and subtle sadness that swirled in her eyes. My gaze softened and I inched closer to her before tucking the strands of her hair behind her ear. The last thing I wanted was for her to worry that I wasn’t genuine in my actions and that I didn’t truly care about her.

“But I do care, Tristan. I care a lot and I want to stay here by your side just like you promised to be by mine.”

She hesitated a moment before sighing. “That’s what I was talking about. You think you owe me something because I’m choosing to stand by you. You’re here out of obligation Lucien. I don’t want you to act like you care… t-to act like you love me when you’re still uncertain.” She then pulled away from me and ran her fingers through her hair before setting her anguished green eyes back on my golden ones. “Do you know how much I want you right now? Do you know how much my skin craves you because when I feel your touch… the pain feels bearable? When I smell your scent… the nausea falls away. But I can’t lean into that feeling because it would be asking too much of you especially if you’re still confused, Lucien. I don’t want to burden you-”

But I silenced her by grabbing her arm and pulling her against my chest. I didn’t want to see her heart breaking, not when it didn’t need to be broken.

And so, as I held her close to me, I leaned down and whispered the one thing I’d been yearning to tell her the moment I felt it bubbling up inside of me.

“I love you, Tristan.”

She didn’t move for a while. In fact, at some point I wondered if she had heard my words at all and was about to repeat them when she pulled away from me and shook her head violently.

“Fuck… I think my head is starting to mess with me. I just thought I heard you say you love me. What a cruel trick for my mind to play on me.” She said out in a hushed voice.

I, however, heard every word of hers and so I leaned my face closer towards her before saying it again, this time, more gently. “I love you.”

She gazed up at me in shock and then shook her head again. “L-Lucien… don’t play with my feelings like this. It’s not fair.”

I chuckled in response and then placed my lips on her forehead before pulling her even closer towards me. She shuddered and then relaxed.

“I’m not playing with your feelings, *my* love.”

“Really?” It came out in a soft whisper.

“Really.”

Her arms slowly began to wrap around me and although she still shook and her skin felt as warm as fire, she was much calmer than before.

“I love you too.” As these words left her mouth, the morning rays of the sun began to cascade in from the window, shining on my back and warming it up. The night had come to its conclusion.

***

We fell asleep on the bedroom floor and stayed that way for most of the morning. Eventually, Calista joined in and set herself between the both of us. It was the warmest I’d ever been and the most connected I’d ever felt. Everything had changed. I felt certain, decisive and yet incredibly stupid all at the same time. It was all so clear to me now, what everyone had told me before. I never loved Jasmine in the way I thought I did. Not once, had my feelings for Jasmine ever felt like this before. The way I loved Tristan was intense and overwhelming but not obsessive and dangerous. It was gentle and tender, not violent and vengeful. And as I peeked at her through my fluttering eyelids, I realised that I finally understood what Damon and Jasmine felt for each other.

“You’re awake…” she mumbled before gently opening her eyes. “I had the strangest dream last night. You told me you loved me.”

I rolled my eyes at her and was about to tell her that it was not a dream when a little giggle left her lips.

“I’m only teasing you,” she said before continuing her laughter. I gazed at her in shock before joining her. We laughed for a moment or so before her laughter turned into a violent coughing fit. For a second there, we both had forgotten that she was still recovering from a massive withdrawal.

I helped Tristan back into bed, and the second she was under the covers, Calista came running in, adamant on getting onto the bed despite being too small to reach the surface of it.

“You have a visitor,” I said before lifting her up and placing her on the bed. She immediately crawled her way to Tristan who smiled and cuddled the cute little kitten.

“How’d she even get here in the first place?”

“Oliver.”

“He hates cats.”

“He also lied to my face for a really long time.” After I had said this, we both fell silent for a while, uncomfortably so.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s okay. Oliver wasn’t the only one lying. The sooner I tell Damon and Jasmine the truth the better.” She said. I could tell by her voice, that she was worried and so I attempted to reassure her.

“You know, you don’t have to tell them about your involvement in all of this. I’m sure just knowing Ambrose is alive, would be enough.”

She scoffed and then shook her head, saying, “It won’t. Ambrose is not one to keep his word. Although I’ve bought us all some time, he will eventually attack. I need your brother and my sister to know why and how. I can’t keep on lying Lucien. Even if it means them hating me.”

“They won’t hate you,” I said reassuringly. She smiled weakly in response then coughed again before grimacing and then shaking her head.

“Take these sheets off. I need A cold shower.” She muttered out.

I smirked wickedly before saying, “Oh baby, I know I turn you on, but I didn’t expect you to be *that* horny for me.”

She rolled her eyes at me and then reached her hands out so that I could carry her towards the shower. I placed her gently on the side of the tub and began to undress her. First, I tugged at her shirt, carefully lifting it over her head. Then, her pants, softly dragging them down the skin of her legs. Her breath caught in her throat as I leaned into her and reached around her back to unclip her bra. I pulled her bra straps from her shoulders, and she held her arms out as I removed her underwear from her body. Then, her toes curled as I tugged at her panties and slipped them down. Once she was completely naked, I took a moment to admire just how beautiful she was.

“What?” She asked with a nervous blush.

I chuckled then leaned down and placed one hand on her calf and the other under the arch of her foot before placing a kiss at the bridge of it. I didn’t say anything further, hoping that my gesture answered her question. Instead, I stood up, reached for her and then carried her naked body in my arms before stepping into the shower and running the cold water. We stood under the coolness of the water in silence. The cold water drenched my clothing which soon clung to my skin and pressed against hers. I wanted her badly. I wanted to pin her up against the wall, to rip off my clothes and finally have all of my skin touching all of hers. I wanted to be naked and vulnerable with her in a way that was special to just the two of us. But I knew I had to wait. She could barely walk still, and Oliver advised against doing anything strenuous…

“I love you…” She suddenly said, gazing up into my eyes. When it left her lips, warmth filled my chest, and a pleasurable sensation of butterflies filled my stomach. It was perhaps my most favourite phrase of all time and so I said it too.

“I love you.”