Chapter 79

PAULINE'S POV
Calling Jay wasn't supposed to be in my options but as I sat in the conference room of Black Worth industry corps, I knew I had no other choice but to enlist the help of my brother. There's just some things a person can't do by themselves and this was one of them.
The toughest part about having a 7 year old child wasn't even bringing him up, the toughest part was hiding him from your very judgmental family especially your step mother who hates you and your twin more than anything. I couldn't blame Angela though, the feeling was mutual.
'I'm sorry, Pauline. I have to be out of town for a few days, I can't take Clarence with me this time around" Audrey, my only friend had called with the news that changed the course of things for me. Sisters were lifesavers, people usually say and Audrey had proved that statement right.
Two years after we graduated from highschool, everyone started putting in the work to get their life in order and most of us forgot we were still teenagers and young adults. No one wanted to be left behind, no one wanted to be mocked the way we had spent years mocking Amber Swift for giving birth out of wedlock.
No one wanted people to stare at them at the convenience store and whisper in volumes they could obviously hear about things that wasn't just unpleasant but was absolutely none of their business. No one wanted to be taunted at every parent meeting they went to while others laughed in the background.
So, when Peter suggested after graduation, that we head out to Paris to attend a business school for himself and a fashion school for myself, I had no other option than to accept and follow him. Besides, Paris was a land of opportunities and most importantly, love.
There's just this type of love the city of love would give that would come with so much thrill and spice you'd wonder if the city was built with the elixir of love, if such a thing existed, but when the pain comes? It is twice as painful as the excitement and joy. Twice the dose, they say, is better than just one of it.
I had tried to persuade Audrey to stay back, 'Isn't there a way to shift your travels to maybe the weekend so you can go with Clarence?" I had hoped she would reconsider but it seemed her outing was important and she didn't have much of a say in it.
Audrey was a good friend, really, and there are some things you can't do for someone even if you wanted to do them badly. I had been thinking of allowing Clarence to meet other members of the family asides Angela. Maybe this was whole fate wanted to work, after all, we can't beat fate.
'Whats going on, Pauline? You have a child?!" His reaction was expected but I also didn't have the time or the right words to tell him about everything. From the trip to Paris, to meeting the man that had sealed my fate and turned me into the woman I was now.
'Just do this one favor for me, Jay. I'll definitely explain everything to you later. For now, all I can tell you is that Clarence is my son, he's 7 years old and he's a very sweet kid" Even if I wasn't going to give him much information about my son, I felt it was necessary to tell him how wonderful the boy was.
Jay didn't exactly take it well, 'You have a 7 year old son? Pauline, how could you keep something like that from everyone for so long?!" His voice had exploded through the receiver with way more intensity than I had anticipated.
'I had to do the needful, Jay. Not everyone has it as easy like you do, you're in no position to question my actions" I hadn't meant to get angry but Jay Harley was judging me? The man had had everything handed to him ever since we were little, the only thing he had that was his was the company I was sitting in it's conference room as I made the call.
It didn't seem like Jay had been affected by what I had said cause his comeback came not long afterwards, 'I am not judging you, Pauline. I am just wondering what kind of a person you are to do something like that to both your child and your family" there was a pause as I held my breath, 'Send me a picture of your son and I'll help you go get him. You're right, I am in no position to judge you and i won't" the link went off immediately after.
What kind of a person was I? I asked myself over and over again after the call ended. Everything I had done ever since I got pregnant with Clarence, was for my son's benefit, every single thing but yet I was still asked 'what kind of a person I was?" I thought I had proven myself a long time ago by leaving Desmond Flint and moving on with life after the attempted suicide.
What kind of a person was I? Falling for an exotic dancer wasn't part of the plans I had for myself when I left Los Angeles for Paris. Beatrice's Fashion school of France was ranked the best in Paris, getting in was my dream and moving to Paris after my acceptance letter came was a dream come true for me.
'Dreams are are flowers you plant in your garden, when you water them, take care of them and work with them, they grow. When you don't pay attention to their nurturing and care, they wither and die off" was one of Madame Beatrice's most loved quotes, it wasn't the motto of the school but it would have been a great motto altogether.
Did I water, nurture and take care of my dream or did I neglect it's nurturing and watched it wither?