Chapter 34

Leo's POV
Before I finally had the chance to meet Doctor Zara. I had heard that her father had spoken frankly that Zara and Orion were going to be matched. My heart felt sad automatically and instantly. Feeling not okay now. But I tried to show an expression that did not show my true feelings. If I had to be honest I felt hot and very jealous. But I couldn't express all my emotions openly. I would never dare to admit and be honest about my feelings for Zara
After the incident where I had peeked behind the window. I no longer intended to disturb Zara. I had disappeared for a while. Moreover, it coincided with the arrival of another group of aliens. So I had to prepare everything and welcome their arrival on this earth. I was forced to put aside my work at the hospital regarding this research. Moreover, Zara also had not been able to return home from the hospital. So I had to be able to take advantage of this moment so that my movements were not so conspicuous.
The last time I met Zara was when I came back in to approach her after I had previously peeked at her with Orion in the room and was watching a movie.
I was forced to go in to cover up my feelings and there was something important to talk about and tell Zara about work. At that time, after I returned a moment later, I asked permission to go into the room to approach Doctor Zara with reasons related to work. But inside I saw Orion watching a movie with Zara. Actually, I didn't feel good disturbing them. It's just that I saw Zara's expression that wanted to be saved from Orion immediately. I finally dared to join them.
"Excuse me, may I come in?"
"Of course come in!" Zara's voice sounded enthusiastic. It meant that she really needed help to avoid Orion.
She seemed happier with my arrival approaching the two of them. Like getting a lottery she showed such obvious feelings.
"You?" Orion put on a face that didn't like me. As if he was annoyed with my presence here that suddenly disturbed his comfort.
I lowered my head in shame and didn't want to make eye contact with Orion who was looking at me with a look full of hatred. Meanwhile, Zara tried to lighten the mood and seemed to accept my presence very openly and happily.
Earlier, I had indeed left after peeking at them from behind the window. But I only made sure that I could control my emotions and myself for a moment by moving to another place first. After a few moments, I immediately returned to continue my intention to meet Doctor Zara.
"You were here earlier, huh?"
"Huh?"
"Yes, you were here earlier, right?"
“Em, when?"
"Earlier, I saw you from behind the window there. But suddenly you left again. I thought you would come in, but instead, you left. I also thought you wouldn't come back. But my guess was wrong." She said, making me stunned and having difficulty answering because I was caught peeking. I thought that Zara didn't see me when I peeked at her with Orion in the room.
Since then, it has been our last meeting. I didn't have any lingering feelings regarding their closeness. Even though, in fact, I was already jealous of Orion. But this time, I am preparing an agenda to welcome the aliens who came to Earth in the second group.
Hoping that their arrival on earth will make our mission succession smoother. I really hope that something good will happen and side with the aliens. Although I still question my own conscience. About the feelings that are hard for me to avoid for Zara. Is it possible that I will continue this feeling after our mission is over? Or should I really throw away all these feelings and forget many things about Zara?
Is it possible that I can bring her to my planet later? Or should I stay silent and live on earth forever? But if I have to force myself to settle on Earth, there will be many problems because all humans who are the inhabitants of Earth will feel disturbed by my presence. I also haven't found a formula on how I can survive on Earth any longer without ovum reserves.
I really feel broken because I have been caught up in feelings and have started to enter into feelings that are hard for me to control. The feeling of love for a human child makes me feel in a dilemma and a little crazy thinking about the fate of life that is impossible to realize in the future.
Although I intend to focus on preparing to welcome the arrival of aliens in the second batch. But my mind is still on Zara. I don't even know if Zara has fully recovered or is still in the hospital and under intensive care. My mind is chaotic and confused, feeling my soul is uncertain looking for Zara's condition and whereabouts now.
"What's wrong with you Leo?" Hira asked, surprising me.
"Um no, I'm fine. I was just thinking about the preparations we've planned for the welcoming later."
"Oh that, I thought there was something else."
I was forced to lie to my sister and keep it a secret to myself as deeply as possible. I can't be honest with anyone, especially my own alien group. I might be considered a traitor and even add to the chaos on earth. I have to be able to keep my mouth shut and keep everything carefully. The same goes for my own sister.
Even I never thought that I would be able to fall in love with Zara in the end. It was hard for me to digest before that I didn't expect to know the woman and be close to her. That feeling came by itself and made me sick. Sometimes I want to be angry with myself. But will forcing myself to prevent myself from falling in love be possible? I am really at war with myself.
On the one hand, my heart is very heavy for my nation, the alien nation, but on the other hand, I cannot lie to my own feelings. That I have difficulty making Zara lose. Not only Zara but also the people Zara loves, yes, those humans who have become my targets. My conscience is fighting with my logic. I even feel my head hurts thinking about these things over and over again. It is really beyond my expectations that this could happen.
"Damn." Spontaneously, I grumbled to myself, muttering in a rather loud tone.
"Huh, what?" Suddenly making Hira wonder what I meant by talking like that.
"Huh, what?"
"You said damn, what damn did you mean?"
"Ah no, I didn't say that. Maybe you just misheard."
"Is that so?”