Let me go

Chapter sixteen
Gwen
I should have known better than accept Ryder's offer. But I didn't know Hattie would also be at the party.
I'm a fool for not thinking to that extent. Hattie has been in love with Ryder since we were both in high school.
Did I really imagine she wouldn't be in this type of gathering?
I look at her again before running out the hall. While rushing out, I hear Ryder call out to me. And I know he made to follow me.
Maybe something or someone stops him. But I soon hear his steps towards me. I run into the suite, faster than my legs could carry.
I just want to be alone. I never sign for this. I never wanted all this to begin with.
Why do I have to hate my life for something I don't even want?
I walk to his door and decide against it. I want to stay somewhere far from Ryder.
I rush past the room towards the store. If there's anywhere I would be comfortable, then that will be the store.
I couldn't hear anything as I made my way towards the store, where I'd stayed for a month and some days.
I walk inside and look at the ruined dress. I don't believe I destroyed this beautiful dress.
I slid down and pull myself together, so my chin would be ok my knees. I feel so miserable as usual.
Heidi would stop at nothing to make me feel worst. There's absolutely nothing I can do or have done to make her change the way she looks at me, the way she sees me.
All she ever does was bully me. I can imagine the photographer would have taken pictures of me. And by this time tomorrow, pictures of today will explode on the internet.
I just want to vanish.
I close my eyes and stifle the tears. I just can't help it, I just can't stop crying.
I can't stop thinking about the pains I've gone through and more that is yet to come only because I'm of the Brook.
Was it my fault that I was born of the Brook? Why can't I just have a piece of mind?
I cry for a while, reminiscing on my previous life.
I should leave Rock and Brew. That's the only way I will survive all this shame. That's the only way Heidi will let me be.
I look around for my belongings and remember I left them in Ryder's room.
Ryder will be back at the party. So, it will be easy for me to sneak out unseen by anyone.
Then, I can relocate somewhere and start a new life. Maybe I can also work at a restaurant.
No, that would risk revealing my identity. As far as I'm concerned, Heidi can always get me because she loves going to restaurants.
If only I can get employed as an attendant, Heidi wouldn't be able to find me.
Or if I can leave this city. Neither Ryder nor Heidi would be able to find me. Then, I will leave a peaceful life.
And fortunately for me, the manager gave me triple my money. The money is big enough to cater for my needs. For me to start a new life.
I can even take up another name. I will do whatever I can to stay away from Heidi.
It's just that I am going to miss Ryder.
I stand and look around the store again. I am going to miss Rocks and Brew.
I walk into Ryder's room quickly. I didn't even lock it the other time. My bag is on the sofa.
I take it and hurry out, glad that there are no attendants around to see me.
I wonder where they all went to. Maybe sleeping, it's almost eleven now.
There will be nowhere for me to stay for tonight. Well, I can find any shabble place to stay, then I will pick up tomorrow morning.
I will explore the city nearby. And I will live my life as I have always wanted, away from the Brooks and well, Ryder too, obviously.
Walking out into the street, I felt a shiver. Maybe it's because of the breeze or the fact that I'm not really feeling good.
I've been having headaches since morning which I brushed away because I didn't want to be seen as been lazy.
Aside from that, I feel weak and I had to force myself to work. Maybe that was why I didn't even notice when the clothes on me were changed.
Actually, for once in my life, I slept peacefully and for so long. I didn't worry about getting late to work or getting scolded for not cooking breakfast for the Brook.
I slept so well, all thanks to Ryder.
The street looks dry as I take a turn towards another street, out from Rock and Brew. I stop and take a long stare at the huge building.
In it are people that are affecting my life either the good or the bad way. I don't know why but it hurt to leave like this.
But I have no choice. I have to choose between surviving and dying.
I've lived my whole life in fear and deep pain. I'm not ready to continue on the path. I will do whatever I can to survive.
I will survive and be someone worthwhile in society. Maybe then I can return and be someone who can stay beside Ryder.
I blink away the tears and hurry along the street.
I walk into the darkness and look around me for where I can stay for the night.
Suddenly, someone was walking towards me.
I veer away, walking faster in fear. And I realize that I was been tailed.
Or are they just taking my route?
I turn to another street and I realize the man also did.
I pick up my race, running as far as my legs could carry me.
I bump into a hard wall suddenly. Somehow, my heart almost stopped breathing. It actually seemed like the wall grew out of nowhere.
I look into the semi-darkness, as the moon is now high up in the sky, showering its light to all and sundry.
I look at the hefty man before I and fear gripped me. The man that was after me the other time also meet up with me.
Now, they are two.
"Who are you!" I scream at them. I try my best to sound tough but I failed, fear was vivid in my voice.
I step back slowly, my heartbeat increases drastically. I hit into the other man behind me.
I lose my footing and find myself sitting on the floor.
I look up at the men before me. Who are they? And what do they want from me?
The headache has suddenly set in. And beads of perspiration have broken out of my forehead.
Lots of things are happening to me.
Even my eyes feel sticky.
"Your bag!" A deep voice says. One of them must have talked but it seems so difficult to know who did.
My head is banging seriously now and it feels like I will die as a result of it, rather than these people doing the worst to me.
"She looks sweet," I hear one commend briskly.
"Yes, we should take an advantage of her," added thickly, a hint of pleasure in his voice.
I try to get up, perhaps to start running but I suddenly can't even do anything.
I watch one of the men move to my head and pull me down on my back. The headache came huge at the movement and it felt like my head would eventually be ripped off.
I'm sweating on my palm and the weakness I feel in me has suddenly increased.
Hands held my hands in place beside my head. I couldn't move and I made no attempt to.
I'm forced to lay exposed to the second man.
The tears force themselves out of my eye. Even though I'm not even aware of it.
The man kneels in the middle of my legs and pull down his trousers. I close my eyes and expect the worst.
All I hear are groans and kicks. I suddenly realize I can freely move my hands.
What happened?
"Gwen!" A cool baritone voice calls out. That voice sounds so familiar. I open my eyes and stare wide into Ryder's face.
How did he find me?
He smiles at me and I made a move to reciprocate it but the headache came again dangerously.
I close my eyes and mentally stifle the pain.
My body feels so weak now.
Ryder pulls my head up.
"We should go," I hear some whisper as I stare into Ryder's handsome face.
I let him place his hand on my forehead. His eyes widen as he watches me, "You are running a high temperature."
Am I?
" I'm taking you to the hospital," it wasn't a request. Ryder scoop me up in one move and starts walking away.
My eyes feel so sticky now and the headache seems like it's eating my brain up.
I manage to smile, "Don't," I say, following my head, "Don't take me to the hospital. I will rather die."
Somehow it doesn't feel so bad for me to say. I'm tired of the world already. The world has no good things for me. I've been in the darkness for so long. I will like to stop the suffering.
I heard screams as I close my eyes.
My body shudder uncontrollably and my name was being pronounced more than once as I seep away into the darkness.
Finally, I will be able to live freely away from Heidi and my family.