My last decision

Chapter sixty
Ryder
I know I shouldn't have gotten so upset but I couldn't help it.
No matter how much I think about it, Gwen doesn't love me. That's not her fault actually, she just loves younger men.
Gosh, I shouldn't have to keep hoping something good will happen.
I should have accepted the fact that Gwen will never look at me. She will only look at guys like David.
My heartfelt so tight in my chest as I made my way out of Rock and Brew. I've never been so pained in my entire life.
People loved me, ladies want to be mine, notwithstanding the age. Even Heidi who Gwen was much older was ready to accept me. Why is Gwen so different.
Why is she so hard to get.
I think it's the height of it. I don't think I can continue doing this. Seriously, it's annoying and heartbreaking.
I can't stop holding my chest. It hurt so much in here.
I stopped by the bar an hour ago after driving around the city for two hours with no destination. I wanted something that would take my mind off this quickly.
But I couldn't stop. Gwen has taken control of all of me. I don't even know the way out.
The last time I saw Mrs. Johnson call, I decided to switch off my phone.
Right now, I've dropped my phone inside my car.
I don't need it, I want to be alone. I want to be able to think clearly. Maybe it's high time I forget Gwen.
I should start thinking of a way forward. Gwen will never love me.
Even though she accepts me now, what assurance do I have that she won't wake up one day to be against it?
Will I ever be happy in love?
This was my first love after so long of staying away from ladies.
Gosh, I'm the ladies' man, I'm a successful basketball player. I'm handsome and I'm rich. Is there anything I don't have?
Is there anything I ever wanted and I don't get? No, I doubt it.
I've always gotten everything. The fame and all
But I can't even get Gwen. How little she is. She seems so hard for me to get.
Gosh, the thought of it is making me sick and my head hurts so much.
Tomorrow is the party. I promised Gwen that I would take her. But I doubt that now. I don't want to have anything to do with her.
I will prefer not to see her for a while now.
I drink more of the alcoholic wine before me. I want to get drunk and quit all this.
Someone sits beside me suddenly.
I pull down the face cap I'm wearing so he or she wouldn't see my face.
I don't want anyone to recognize me in here. I don't want to be facing another scandal after I'm done with this breakup.
"Excuse me, you look depressed," a feminine voice says.
I manage to look up a little. Her smiling face reminds me a lot about Belle. Actually, it looks like I'm staring at Belle.
She pulls back her head and laughs. Well, it wasn't insulting, I think it was just like she cracked a joke in her head and laughed out loud.
"I knew it was you, Ryder," she says.
Geez, it was really Belle. What the fuck is she doing here?
My eyes went wider on their own. I place a finger on her lip, "Don't let them know."
She kisses my finger and smile, " I won't, trust me. But did you think I wouldn't know it was you? We've had sex a couple of times. I've seen in and out of you. I will recognize you anywhere."
I sigh and take my cup to sip more of the wine. She stops me and gently takes the cup, "You better stop, you have been drinking since you got here."
I give her a skeptical look, " How did you know?"
She smiles, " I've been watching you for a while now. I saw you the moment you walked in."
I sigh again, " Just do as if you didn't see me," I stretch forward to take the cup.
She stops me again, " If you continue drinking and I'm minding my own business, then you will surely risk your appearance. How about we leave here, I can take your pain away."
" Belle, you don't know what is happening to me. You cant do anything for me."
She laughs again and wraps her right hand around mine, "Not if you get hot sex. It will do you more than this alcohol will do."
" And my lips are sealed! Alcohol will expose you."
I stare at her for a while, thinking about her proposal. There's no fucking way I will do that.
But I'm still looking for who to take to tommorow's party? I have no one except Bonnie and the other three females in my house.
"I'm not doing that shit, Belle but there's another way you can help me."
Belle squeezes her face in irritation as she watches me.
It doesn't matter if Gwen rejected me or not. I'm not going to have anything to do with this harlot.
I will heal. It will take time but I will. And I will find someone else. Someone else good for me and not Belle.