De javu

Chapter fifty-four
Gwen
I open my eyes suddenly. I look around me and sigh.
I had a dream that Ryder came inside my room. And he covered me with the blanket. And he looked at me with those eyes that he had always had for me.
Gosh, I've missed those eyes, those gazes.
Mrs. Johnson told me he might not even be dating Lizzy. That can be right but what if he wished to.
I'm just so confused. One moment, I'm thinking of coming forward and the other, I'm afraid to do so.
I roll on my bed and wish my dream would come real.
I miss him so much. I want to kiss him. Gosh, I want to date him. If I can marry him, then I will.
But I'm just too scared to move forward. I've been so scared since I was young. I couldn't move out of my father's house or face Heidi because I was just so scared.
I guess I'm still that young girl. I need some time to gather my strength.
I guess we heal slowly. Though, I'm not sure when mine will be.
I roll off the bed and take the key beside me. I look back at the door, then remember I locked it before sleeping off.
How then did I expect Ryder to enter? Is he a ghost or something?
I laugh and walk out of the room to get a cup of water.
Hopefully, I will see Ryder.
I walk back inside the room after some minutes of waiting for Ryder. I thought of going to his room but I disregarded it the moment the thought came in.
Gosh, can I ever be bold to face the man I love?
This was what happened to me in high school. I was supposed to talk to my crush about how I felt. I had started crushing on David the moment I stepped foot inside the school but I couldn't bring myself to tell him.
We were friends then too. He was always talking to me. So, Heidi told me I might have a chance with him.
Actually, Heidi encouraged me too but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
The next thing I heard was that he and Heidi were involved romantically.
That was the first bad thing Heidi did to me. Slowly, it started coming in more.
She later told me David also had a crush on me but he was too scared to approach me.
But then, David later hated me. I wonder what she told him or what he did to him.
What if it turns out to be the same way with Ryder?
It doesn't matter. If it will, then it will.
I need to get ready to leave for school. I think that is the first thing I should do.
I take the black card and hold it close to my heart. I can't forget Ryder's kindness. Or perhaps I'm confusing his kindness for me as love. Perhaps the person he loves is Lizzy.
I walk to the wardrobe and try to arrange some of my clothes into the luggage.
I have more clothes now that my luggage cant even shelter them all. I should buy a big one or come back for my other clothes with this same luggage.
Whichever way will give me more time to think about myself.
After I've arranged and filled the bags up, I look at the time and it's six in the morning.
It's a great time to take my belongings to the next house. It won't be good in broad daylight. Paparazzi might be around.
I wonder what they will cook up if they see a woman packing out of his house.
I open the door and walk into Mrs. Johnson's room. She awakes too and brushed her teeth.
I wonder how she always manages to wake up so early even though she's older now.
"Mrs. Johnson, good morning," I walk close and hug her slightly from behind.
She washes her mouth and turns to look at me, a huge smile on her face, "Good morning darling, how are you."
"I'm fine. I just need to go to the apartment Ryder brought for me and Lizzy."
She raises a confused brow, "But why so early. You can always do it later in the day."
"No, I didn't want to arise suspiciously. Ryder is a public figure. Anything can spark rumors."
She nods thoughtfully, "That's so good of you. Come back earlier, ok?"
I nod and smile at her before walking out of the house with my luggage.
My heart made a sudden thud the moment I arrived at the house.
What if Ryder is in with Lizzy. I mean I still remember what I saw a day before.
Seriously, I don't want to see them in that position again.
But what if Ryder slept here?
I place my ear against the door and listen. Perhaps I will hear a male voice.
My heart skip a beat when I hear soft moans, almost the same as the one I heard the day I met Mimi and Ryder having sex.