I feel so much pain

Chapter sixty-two
Gwen
I walk out of the house quickly. The message entered before I could finish wearing my clothes.
I take a cab straight to the party Venue.
The party is still ongoing. There are cars everywhere and you will know wealthy people are the ones at the party.
I can't believe Ryder came to this party without me.
Should I tell him how angry and jealous that makes me feel? Or should I tell him how remorseful I feel?
I didn't mean to hurt his feeling. Gosh, I only wanted him to know about him.
I lied to David that he was my boyfriend when he wasn't. Can't that tell him something?
Isn't that enough to show him how much I love him? And how much I want to be with him?
Gosh, I don't believe I'm thinking this way.
Gosh, I'm so devastated.
"Hi!" Myra nods at me from afar.
I walk to him quickly, my anger vivid in my features. All I want right now is to see Ryder.
"Hey! What are you really doing here?"
"Ryder, how can I see him?"
Her expression changed, " Does that matter?"
I let out a sigh, " I just want to see him."
" You can't see Ryder like this. And he's busy inside."
I raise a brow, skeptical, " Is that what he told you or what you guessed?"
She sigh, frustrated already, " Gwen, calm down. You need to think it through!"
"If you won't go in and call him out, I will walk in and call him out myself. And you know how that will affect you all," I say strongly.
I watch her for a moment. She looks away and thinks for a while.
She let out a sigh again before looking back at me, "Wait here, I will try my best."
I nod briefly, hoping. My breath ache in my throat at the thought of seeing Ryder.
She walks inside the big building.
I stay still, my eyes fixed on the entrance of the building.
I waited for some minutes or so. I lost count anyways.
I take my phone and dial Ryder's number again. It rings for a while and he didn't pick up.
I retried and retried until I was tired.
Myra didn't come out either.
I close my eyes and place a hand over my chest. Gosh, I feel so hurt here. I don't know why it hurts so much.
I don't believe this is going to happen to me.
It's ok. I am going to go back home. It's all right. I won't think about this again.
It doesn't matter if he's here with a lady or if he thinks he can do as he like it if he was really hurt.
I don't care again and I'm not going to care ever again.
I look up slowly in a bit to turn and walk out of the vicinity.
I stop in my track, my mouth wide open as I watch Ryder pull a lady closer to himself from the entrance.
He's smiling and resting so much on her.
It seems like they were talking. The lady was also smiling and replying to him.
They both walk to the car. The lady open the door and made to walk in but Ryder pull her back and kiss her.
My heart made a thud. I can even hear it shredding into pieces.
Myra said he loved me.
Ryder said he loved me. What? Has he fallen out of love already?
I don't believe this is happening to me. I don't believe Ryder fell out of love with me because of the little thing I did.
I didn't even mean to say it.
I tried to call and apologize. Why can't he just let me out?
Why is he so difficult?
I thought he was perfect, I thought he was the best.
He's not the man I want. He's not who I want to fall in love with.
Why was it so easy for me to fall in love with him?
I close my eyes against the tears that threatened to break loose.
I fail and the tears roll down my cheek.
I can't even stop it. I can't stop the pain I'm feeling in my chest.
It hurt so much.
Gosh, I shouldn't have come here. I should have listened to Myra and not come here.
I take my phone and block his number.
I don't want him! I don't ever want to see him again.
I can't do this anymore. I can't be hurting and he's not one bit worried about me.
I can't be crying in closed doors alone and he's somewhere enjoying his life.
I have my new resolve already.
I'm not going to care about him again. He can get as many girlfriends as he wants. I won't care again.
I'm going to work harder and pay for my fee. I won't even ask him.
I just hope I'm able to forget him quickly. God, I need to.