Questions of the heart

Chapter forty-two
Gwen
Will I? Seriously, can I marry Ryder?
I laugh, "I don't know."
"Let me put it this way," Lizzy burts in again, "Can you marry Ryder?"
I look up at Mrs. Johnson, expecting her to hit Lizzy for calling Ryder by its first name but it seems like she didn't even remember to.
They are all looking at me and expecting my answer. It looks weird to say that.
I look down, on the bed, "Don't compare with him."
"It's just an assumption," Lizzy says and nudge me slightly by the shoulder.
I look up at Mrs. Johnson again.
She smiles, "It's just a question. Let's just assume Ryder asks you out, will you accept?"
I blink once as I imagine myself talking with Ryder as we did earlier. And then, the question pops up. Will I agree to stay with him?
I mean he's older but he's definitely my type. But I don't want to think about it. Ryder will never love me. He would never think of marrying me.
I don't know why I have to make that kind of assumption when there will never be something like that between me and Ryder.
I laugh instead, "If it was someone else, I might accept."
Lizzy's curious eyes watch me, "What if it's Ryder?"
I chuckle, "Maybe or maybe not. I'm not good at assuming. I don't make decisions before time. I prefer to make the decision whenever I'm faced with a problem."
" Yes, that's cool. Unlike Lizzy, she daydreams a lot," Mrs. Johnson supports.
Lizzy looks at her with furiousness, " What are you trying to say?"
"Yes, don't you daydream?"
" What! Just because I told you a few things I wished for doesn't mean I daydream."
Mrs. Johnson inclines her head and watches her, " Seriously? What about when you told me about Barry!"
" What!" Lizzy blows air, " Don't tell me you told Barry about it?"
Mrs. Johnson relaxes, and folds her hands before her, " And so. I'm his mother after all."
"But that was supposed to be a secret!" She feigns sadness.
Mr. Johnson pull her to herself, "No, I was lying. I didn't say anything to her."
I laugh as I watch them exchange words.
Home sweet home! It feels so good to be back.
Then I remember I need to go and see Ryder. He told me about the clothes he brought for me.
"Mrs. Johnson, I need to go and see Ryder now."
She nods several times, " It's ok. Go on now.'
I nod too and walk out of the room. I walk into the living room and admire it for a while. It looks so breathtaking.
Wow! I will love to live in this type of house in the future, maybe with my husband and some kids.
Surprisingly, I have never dreamt of having a husband. I guess my father's case taught me a lot.
I don't want to have a husband like my father. I don't ever want my children to be maltreated.
But after the series of questions we were through earlier, I'm forced to start thinking of a guy.
Well, if I see a man like Ryder, aside from the age difference obviously. I will just marry him.
I want someone that will love me for who I am and be able to take care of me. A man that will never lay his hands on me.
Ryder is also like that. I can't believe he's so sweet.
I stop at his knock and take a deep breath. I knock twice, "Hi, this is Gwen."
No one answered so I knock again, much harder this time. Still, no answer.
I wonder if he's really in. He might not be. He might have gone out. But I didn't hear any sound of the car leaving. Then he must still be around.
Perhaps he's in the compound or maybe we have gardens here too. The compound is spacious. It will fit in a garden of different types of flowers.
But I still want to see his room. I want to see how it looks compared to his previous ones.
I knock again to be sure that no one is in before going in.
I open the door slowly and walk in. I gasp suddenly as I look around the spacious room. It's so beautiful. It's like none I've seen. It looks exactly like the rooms in Rock and Brews.
Wow! Ryder is so rich. Why would he be? He's won so many awards for basketball so far. The ones I heard of is over thirty.
What of the ones I know nothing about?
If I can make him the ambassador for my flower shop, I will really make it in a couple of days.
I walk in, smiling and inhaling the nice fragrance in the air.
I stop suddenly as I see Ryder on the bed, with his eyes closed.
He was sleeping, which is why he didn't answer me the other time. But he doesn't sleep so heavy, is he sick or tired?
I walk closer to him on the bed. I place my hand on his forehead. He's not burning.
Could he just be tired then?
Ryder's eyes suddenly open, startling me.