Pain and hurt

Chapter sixty-one
Gwen
Ryder didn't come. I waited the whole day for him. I got a dress ready for him.
I knew he would come. I mean he had to be present at the party.
Myra told me how special the party was. And then, he had also promised me.
I got my hair styled as I waited for him. I even brought deodorant. I only wanted to look good for him.
And I promised I would apologize to him. I would beg him for insulting him.
Seriously, I didn't mean to hurt his feeling and I'm terribly sorry.
Myra went out during the afternoon. I stayed back because of Ryder.
I watch the clock ticked until it was finally six in the night.
I stood by the phone and eventually slept off.
I woke up at intervals, checking my phone for any missed calls from Ryder.
But there was none.
Well, I didn't want to lose hope because a tiny part of me reminded me of the fact that Ryder loved me and he would come for me.
But it was all a lie. I don't know if it was really what I said or if Ryder already decided on what to do at the beginning.
I mean he could have lied. Maybe that was what he did. Maybe he was just trying to make my hopes high.
I slept off again. When I woke up, it was ten in the night.
The party was supposed to begin at seven which means they could still be at the party or it's almost over.
I couldn't stop the tears from coming out of my eyes. Ryder's disappointment made me feel more miserable.
I know I shouldn't be because normally, I'm not allowed to go to parties like that but I can't even help it.
I can't stop thinking Ryder did this. I can't believe he abandoned me.
There was no way he would go to the party without a date, right?
He clearly told me that he was instructed to come with a date. It was either that or he wouldn't be allowed in.
If Ryder went, who did he go with?
My heat made a thud as it settles on someone. Heidi.
Ryder must have gone to the party with Heidi.
Gosh! What did I do wrong? Why?
I can't even stop the tears from dropping. I can't stop the flow.
It feels like I got stabbed in the heart. It hurts so much, more than I can tell.
I went inside the shower to get it off my head.
After soaking myself in the water for over an hour, I still felt miserable.
I decided to eat because I didn't eat anything since morning.
My stomach rumble like mad. I sigh and force myself out of the water.
I wear a bra and panties and walk inside the kitchen.
No one is at home anyways. Myra said she would be back by morning and Ryder won't be back anyway.
He's probably somewhere, catching fun with his date.
Not that I care, I don't care again.
I look at the mixed cereal and sob again. I can't believe I'm crying.
Sure, it hurt so much.
Ryder promised me, he promised to take me to the party. Why couldn't he do as he had said?
Even if he was angry, he could have at least come over.
The thought of it makes me angry.
Well, it's not entirely my fault! I only told him the fact!
I don't like older men but I love him now.
How the heck did I hurt him!
I really need to see him and tell it to his face.
Gosh, it's so annoying.
I force the cereal down, cursing and muttering his name.
I don know why but I think I will feel better if I talk out loud.
I walk back inside my room and pick up my phone.
I dial Myra's number immediately.
I won't let this get to me.
It doesn't matter if I won't be seeing Ryder again but I need to talk to him tonight, for the last time.
I need to talk to him for the last time.
He doesn't have the right to use me this way. He doesn't.
Myra picked up immediately, "Hi dear."
I can hear music in the background, "Are you at the party?"
She went silent for a moment as if deciding if she should tell me or not.
"Yes," she says finally, "I am. The party is still ongoing so I won't be back home soon."
"I know. Can you send me the address to the venue of the party?"
"Why? Is something wrong?"
"I need to speak to Ryder tonight."
"Alright, I will send it to you now."
I hang up and move o the dress I had selected. The red dress I have worn severely. And I am sure it will fit me so well.
I was sure Ryder would love it on me.
I throw it over the wardrobe. I take a black grown instead.
Yes, it's just what I needed.