Fear and exposure

Chapter twenty-two
Ryder
I look at her with disgust. Seriously, I don't believe she reported me to my mom. Oh, have I forgotten Heidi has lost every single brain she has? All that she's left with is an empty barrel.
"So, I will leave you guys together. There are some things I need to do inside," mom says and smiles before walking out.
I let out a sigh, I'm starting to feel angry but I will take it all easy.
"What do you want?" I ask, my voice as cold as Ice. It was meant to make her discover she's not needed.
She manage a smile, "I wanted to see you. I tried your number but it wasn't going through."
Well, I've blocked her. I don't want to talk with bitches.
I take a seat and look up at her, "What do you want exactly? How much do you want? I will get it transferred to you in cash or cheque or whatever way you want," I continue, each word was meant to inflicted pain, "Because that's what girls like you look for."
She winces at the words, " Ryder," she started but I cut her off with a wave of my hand.
"What do you want to say? That you are not here for that?" I chuckle, " That's what I get from girls like you. Girls that won't even show love to their sister because she's not from their mother's side."
" What more do you want to say? Is there a way you can free yourself from all this?"
She takes a deep breath, " if that makes me a bad girl, what does that make Gwen? Isn't she broke? And isn't she Brook?"
I stare at her for a while in the silence as I try to compare them. No! They are very different!
"That's for me to decide. You are not to interfere."
"At least, allow me," she says desperately, " Allow me to prove my love for you."
"I don't need it, I'm hooked already."
"With Gwen?" She raises a brow and waits, her pretty face curving into a dark frown, "What does she have that I don't?"
"She's definitely prettier," I smirk and watch her hurt expression," You are hurt, right? I feel It's nice to pay back for the pains you've caused Gwen. Well, that will be the last one you will ever cause her," I stand, " Because I won't be giving you any chance to do it again."
" And I'm warning you to stay aside or you will get hurt!" I warm sternly.
She winces and looks away. I watch her for a while before I decide to go and speak with mum.
"I," She stated suddenly, stopping me in my track. I didn't turn to look at her, "I promise to do all my best. You are mine and will always be," she says and walk out before I could say something.
I laugh. Damn! She has lots of audacity.
I think she's merely expressing how hurt she feels.
I knock briefly and walk inside mom's bedroom. She's on the bed, replying to some messages.
She didn't say a word or look up at me.
I walk nearer and sigh, "Did you eavesdrop on our conversation?"
She looks up at me, with an expression very unclear.
I let out a sigh, take my phone and stroll it over to the chat and the agreement I made with a sponsor. I stretch it towards her, "You should read this."
She stares at me for a while, with confusion written all over her face. She read through and look back at me, "Is this true?"
I take my phone from her and nod slowly, " I'm not supposed to get involved in any relationship until after my birthday."
" Then you should keep Heidi close to you. You guys can get married after the expiration of the contract."
I adjust my cap, something I love doing, " I'm in love with someone else."
I turn around and walk out before she would protest.
I don't have the heck time for this. No matter what mom will say will stop me from following my mind.
I drive straight to Derek's house. Derek lives on the same estate as mine. He's the best basketball player after me. But he went out of the state with his wife and just came back not quite long.
Though, I'm still confused as to when I will get my wife. Gosh, I don't believe I will be thirty-six in three months.
And I'm still finding it difficult to confess my feelings to the woman I love. Well, I'm just scared. What if she rejects me because of the gap difference?
"You really have a lot of your mind," Derek teased and sips his wine slowly, " Is it about her?"
I raise my brows, skeptical, " Who?'
Derek smiles, "I heard she's Gwen Brook."
"What the fuck!" I scream at him and he laughs, "How did you even know?"
He becomes sober, "I'm thinking of starting a private investigator around here."
I stare at him, surprised, " What! You want to stop playing basketball?"
He gently places the cup on the table and folds his arms in front of him, "I've stopped basketball a long time, you just didn't bother to notice. Why did you think I had to go out to the state?"
" Obviously because of my wife."
He shrugs slightly, 'Well, I've stopped. I'm starting as a private investigator soon. How do you see in?'
Damn! I'm still surprised. What about the fame and award he has gotten for being a basketball player?
"Why did you stop?"
He thinks for a while, "I want to. Well, because my wife wants me to. And I love her so very much."
I chuckle, "You've gone soft."
He scoffs, " It's just what love will do to you. I was going to reprimand you but seeing that love has eventually found you, I can not help but feel happy for you."
I sigh and sip my wine, " I'm bothered."
"Why?"
"The woman I love is only twenty-three. And she has a lot of hatred for people of my kind."
Derek laughs again and I hiss at him.
" I'm sorry, it's just funny."
"No, it's not. It's how I feel."
Derek shrugs slightly, " Well, I don't know. My wife is only two years younger."
By the time I got home that afternoon, I felt reluctant to give Gwen the clothes I brought for her. Instead, I sneak right into my garden.
I like coming to the garden whenever I'm feeling depressed. I like the view.
"I like the view too," a voice says behind me. I look back at Mimi.
I smile and she walks nearer, "What are you doing here?"
She sighs and looks at me, "I like coming to the garden whenever I'm depressed."
I raise a brow at her, "You are depressed?"
She nod slowly, " I told you about it," she pouts and I laugh, "I told you I had one-sided love."
Mimi truly told me about her one-sided love. She couldn't confess to the guy and it was clear the guy doesn't think of having a relationship with her. Though, she did tell me the guy wasn't in any relationship.
And I told her to give it some time. Mimi is beautiful and has lots of assets. So, I was sure the guy would eventually find out what he was missing.
Now that I think about it, I can't help but share in her pain. Now, I'm also feeling the same. And the pain is unbearable.
"I am too. I have a lot to think about," I tell her and look at her, "but tell me, did you lose the guy?"
She stares into my eyes for a distraught moment, " I'm not really sure. A friend said I should let him know how I feel."
I'm don't encourage females to express their feelings for males but I'm not against it either. Then think about myself and the reason why I'm scared of approaching Gwen. What if Gwen can approach me and tell me how she feels.
I will be so happy. And I will give in immediately
"Yes, you are right. Maybe the guy is scared of approaching you," I say, reminding myself that the same is happening to me.
She raises a brow, confused, "Why will he be?"
I shrug slightly and look away, "Anything can be the reason. You should find out by telling him about how you feel about him."
She let out a sigh and I look at her. She looks bothered, rather than happy.
Damn! I look bothered too. I've been thinking about how to go with Gwen.
What if I tell her about her feelings and she doesn't reciprocate? She might leave the house. I might lose her forever. Seeing her every day like this is enough for me.
But I'm not getting any younger and my mom will soon resume tormenting me. Aside from that, what if she gets a man. What if_
"Ryder!" Mimi calls, louder than she should.
I turn to look at her. Did she just call me by my name?
"Are you even listening?"
I smile, "I'm sorry. What did you say?" I raise a brow and wait.
She looks away and releases some air from her mouth. She comports herself and looks up at me again, "I said you are the person I love."
I stare, eyes gobsmack as I continue to watch her. What! That can't be!
She smiles and I continue to watch her, unable to say a word. Shock kept me motionless and speechless.
Just then, she stretches up until her lips met with me. I'm still dazed to move. I never expected this! How was I supposed to know I was the one Mimi was secretly crushing on and still telling me about it?
"Yes, this is the garden," another soft voice adds to ours and that was when I pull Mimi back and turn slightly to see Lizzy and Gwen looking at us.
My heart shot out, my breath stuck in my throat as I watch the shock on her face.
Mimi holds my hand suddenly, unbothered about the current situation. I bet she doesn't even know how fast my heart is beating.