Don't ever lose me

Chapter fifty-eight

Gwen

Ryder kiss me so passionately as if he had been preparing for it. He eases his tongue in and I shiver, submitting all to his touch.

Maybe time stopped when his lips met mine, but the flutter only intensified. My heart pounded in my chest as my knees got weaker. I grab hold of him to steady myself on the floor.

Despite all, I can only focus on how soft he feels against my mouth, how addictively he invaded all my senses.

He pulls back suddenly as if he had to stop himself from growing further, from getting where he doesn't want to go.

Ryder has always kissed me but it was never anything like this. It seems way different. Was this the type of kiss that boyfriends do to their girlfriend?

He kissed me previously but it was nothing like this because he saw me as friends then but now he just kissed me as a girlfriend.

I stare back at his eyes, at the affection behind those brown eyes that seems to look deep into my soul. Those eyes that have always watched me all this while like my guardian angel.

"OMG!" David screamed, surprised. I whip my face towards him, "Gwen, you were really saying the truth? Ryder was really your boyfriend? Damn!" He rubs his head anxiously, " At thirty-five, Ryder is still very handsome. I'm not compared to him."

Ryder laughs briefly, " So, you can finally agree to that?"

David feign a cute frown, " No, I didn't. I'm only saying. I didn't say I will be ugly when I click thirty-five."

Ryder's head rests on mine briefly, " sure, you won't get ugly. You got your handsomeness from your grandfather. My father was a beauty to hold."

David laughs anxiously, " But you won't punish me right? Since I was here with your girlfriend?"

" No! That doesn't mean I won't! Come here!" Ryder screams at him. I decide to pull aside from Ryder but his left hand pulls me to himself.

David rushed to my side, "Gwen, please beg him for me. I'm sure he will listen to you!" He pleads softly.

I laugh and look back at Ryder. He smiles and winks at me.

Then he looks past me, at David, "I'm going to let today slip by because of Gwen. The next time you try it, I'm going to ground you!"

" Hurray!" David whoops in delight and walks to the table, " Come and have some uncle."

Ryder finally let me go. I walk to the chair I was in previously.

"Sit here uncle," David gestures to his seat. Ryder complies slowly and sits facing me, "I will go and get another chair," he says and starts walking away.

I look down, unable to face Ryder. I don't know why I had to lie to David the other time. Now, everything looks weird.

I wonder what is going through his mind.

Well, he did kiss me back. He could have said the truth but he didn't. But why?

"Was this where you were going in such a hurry?" He asks, suddenly jerking me out of my thought.

" No, I went somewhere before coming here," I say, my traitorous heart hammer wildly in my chest. I fear he would hear it and see the truth.

"Why did you lie to David?"

I look up at him, "Why didn't you tell the truth? Why did you pretend?"

He watches me for a moment, " Would it have been nice if I disgrace you?"

I scoff, " You are always funny. Are you saying you did that because of me?"

I can't even believe this is happening to me.

He smiles and folds his hands together. He places his chin on them and watches me for another moment, "No, I did it because I feel like I'm already your boyfriend. David is my brother, telling him something like this feels like you are finally mine."

I look away and blush. For no reason, I feel so much happiness in my heart.

Just that I didn't know who David was to him before telling him I was Ryder's girlfriend.

Even so, I could have told him the truth the moment I knew but I still didn't. Didn't that day I really want to be Ryder's girlfriend?

"Why are you here?" I take some cheesecake.

"Well, Steve called me and told me David booked the pool for a whole day. I had to come and talk sense into him."

" How did you even know him?"

I look up at him. I watch him cut the meat neatly and place it in his mouth. Seriously, everything about him looks too perfect.

"He was my friend in high school."

"Really?" He looks at me and caught me staring, " Why did you guys stop contacting each other until today?"

" Heidi. She told him so nasty thing about me and so David had to run away from me. And I only told her," I grab more of the French fries, " I love him but she went ahead to add gibberish of hers. Then she told me afterward that she was now dating David," I look up at him and notice the change on his face.

He's not looking at me now. And he's playing with the cheesecake in front of him.

"So," he looks up at me again, the expression laced across his face scares me, "You do like younger guys, right?"

I stare for a while, unsure of why he was asking. Well, I do like younger guys but it seems I'm going to make exceptions now.

"Yes," I nod briefly.

"I see," he nods briefly and glances at his wristwatch, "I need to be somewhere at this moment," he stands and starts to walk away without another word.

I stand and watch him for a while, skeptical at his attitude.

Have I said something I'm not supposed to say?

Then I remember something he said earlier today. Ryder was scared I would reject him because of the age difference. Well, I do like younger guys but I love Ryder now, even though he's older.

And I seriously want to be with him.

My heart skips a beat as I watch him walk away.

The way he did, it seems like I'm about to lose him forever. As if he's walking away from me forever. Why did I have to let him know I loved David back then?

I didn't even love to date him. Well, I didn't tell Ryder that.

"Ryder!" I scream back at him before I could even think I should call him. He didn't stop and I scream his name over and over again.

I rush after him but the shoe I'm wearing won't let me run faster.

When I walk out of the pool, Ryder was nowhere to be found. I look around me, hoping I would see someone that looks like him. Someone with that dark lock that I love to see on him.

But no! Where the heck did Ryder disappear into?

I take another step forward and David rushes out of nowhere, "Gwen! Are you also leaving? Ryder said there's something he had to do urgently."

" Did you see him? Where did he go?" I ask anxiously. My heart feels like it's going to explode any moment from that time.

"Gone, I guess. He was so fast. Well, uncle can be so fast sometimes whenever he's in a hurry. You know he's a Sportsman, hurry up won't be a thing for him."

I close my eyes and sobs within. What if I have lost Ryder forever? For the little thing, I just said?

He will definitely go home. I should go and meet him at home.

I look back at David, "I need to go now."

"Sure," he says, "I need to let the pool off now. We will catch up later."

" Sure," I nod at him before striding out of the pool.

I take a car straight to Ryder's house.

When I walk in, Mrs. Johnson was on a call.

I sit beside her and made her do her thing.

After some minutes, she finally hang up and looks at me "Gwen, how are you?"

I fake a smile, even though I still can't stop the hard breathing of my heart. I just want to see Ryder.

"I'm fine, is Ryder in?"

She stares for a while, shocked, "No. He went out in the morning and hasn't gotten back."

I nod briefly. If Ryder was really hurt, he wouldn't come home.

"Alright, I've come to pack some clothes. I will get those and go back home."

" Alright," Mrs. Johnson smiles at me. She smoothed my hair, " Are you ok?"

Of course not, I wanted to say but bit it back immediately. I can never be alright unless I see Ryder.

But now, I don't even know what to do. I feel so tired already.

I walk back inside my room and try to grab all the remaining clothes in my wardrobe.

What if I don't ever see Ryder again? What if Ryder avoids me?

The thought of it scares me.

Unconsciously, the tears slip out of my eyes. What does this have to happen like this?

I just want to see Ryder and tell him I'm sorry.

Can't fate just do this for me? For once?