Chapter 105: Bryn

The next day at the new house the rest of our stuff from our old place finally arrives. We get to work setting everything up and putting things in their correct places. Nolan decided to pick one of the rooms closest to mine. I’m sure one of the other guys is going to try and bribe him out of it, or even bet something to win the spot but whatever.

They will have to battle it out since the other close room to me will be taken by our little man. One condition we could all agree on was that the baby would need his own room. I love my little guy but I don’t think I want him witnessing anything we would be getting up to in my new room. Not that he would know what was going on but being interrupted by a baby in a crib only a few feet away is a little awkward.

So Henry has a beautiful nursery next to my room and we have plenty of room for…us. The special bed we ordered hasn’t arrived yet, so I slept with Nolan last night in his room. I adore spending alone time with each of the guys but we haven’t been apart in so long that it felt empty without everyone else.

“How do waffles sound?” Nolan asks when we stop working in the afternoon.

“For lunch?” I ask with a laugh.

He shrugs. “Why not? They’re your favorite and we could use something filling so we can keep working on all this.”

He had a point. “Sure! I can-“

“Nope. You sit your pretty but down in the living room and I’ll make them.” He points his finger in the direction of our new giant living room.

I sigh. “I’m still very capable of cooking you know. Henry’s bigger now and I've had more energy, I think I can start doing more things.”

The guys have been amazing about taking care of me, but I feel terrible that I don’t do enough for them. Cooking used to be my thing since I knew how to make vegan taste so good that even an athlete who used to eat three pounds of meat a day if not more would enjoy it. Since the accident, even before, and bringing Henry home they don’t let me do much of anything. Even today, the only reason Nolan let me help with getting the house ready was because it was necessary.

We needed to be able to find our stuff. Next week we would be flying to the Solomon Islands for our wedding, and we needed to be prepared for that trip. Not knowing where anything is would make preparing for the trip a little difficult. It’s hard to pack a suitcase when you have ten boxes in a room all labeled clothes and shoes.

Nolan walks around the giant marble island in the kitchen and turns me in my bar stool so that I’m facing him. All of the guys are at least a head taller than me so I have to drop my head back to look at them, and I swear my neck is getting sore because of it. He cups my face in his soft hands and gives me a soft smile before lowering his head and kissing me softly. My eyes close and I melt against him with a sigh.

When he pulls away I chase after him which makes him chuckle and me pout.

“I know you can do anything love, but I want to take care of you. It doesn’t mean you’re not a badass woman who doesn’t need to be taken care of. It means that I want to show you how much I love and care for you by doing small stuff like feeding you.” He says with a straight face.

Okay, so here’s the thing. We all have lived together for months now and even spoken about our futures together, but none of us (besides Saywer and I) have ever said the ‘L’ word to each other. Hard to believe right? Even Maddox has shown me in every other way that he not only loves me but is nearly obsessed with me (his words not mine). So you would think we would be throwing ‘I love you’s around all the time, but we haven’t.

It’s as if there was this unspoken agreement that we didn’t need to. That showing how much we loved each other was enough. Plus if you really think about it, most people don’t say it for a while after that. If you think about it Nolan, Maddox, Jaxon, and I have only been together for a few months. (Maddox being the longest, but still.) I hadn’t expected them to say it soon and never wanted to pressure it by admitting my own feelings so soon.

I think worrying so much about them getting tired of this arrangement and taking off had me fighting to keep my emotions in check and my heart protected. Words mean nothing in the end, it’s actions that tell the truth. So you’re probably wondering when I knew I was in love with the other guys.

With Maddox…if I’m honest…I knew the first week he lived with us. He fit in with us so easily and gave affection easily and without expectation. He was sweet and kind and so easy to get addicted to. So yeah I love him and I’ve known for a while now.

The moment I knew I loved Nolan was when he cried seeing Henry and I together for the first time. I knew I cared a lot about him but seeing him release real emotion like that meant so much to me. He was letting himself be open with me and the rest of us for the first time. As I said…actions…

Jaxon is totally different. He’s strong, selfless, cute, funny, and so much more. He’s like Sawyer in that he makes things feel so calm and free, but at the same time he’s a rock. When the accident happened he stuck by me and was that rock for me when I was scared. I knew I’d fallen for him when he took care of me and smiled at me while he called me his Angel. I also loved how he was with his family…so much like mine.

“Bryn?” Nolan asks softly.

I smile and let out a sniffling laugh. “I love it when you take care of me. I love how you look after me. And I love…you. I just want to do the same.”

He smiles down at me and kisses me again but with a lot more firmness and emotion. When he pulls away I’m so lost in the emotion I felt in his kiss that it takes me a second to recover.

“I adore you, Bryn Beckett. I love everything about you, and I know you want to take care of us too but just let me do this. I need it. Okay?” The look he gives me…It’s as if I would be hurting his happiness if I refused him.

So of course I feel awful for taking that away from him and giving up the fight. “Fine. But can I help?”

Just as he nods and I jump off the stool to help I hear Henry fussing through the baby monitor. Nolan laughs when I groan.
“Go take care of him, I’ll bring food.” He taps me on the butt and I wave him off as I go.

When I reach the stairs though, I stop and turn back around to face Nolan. “Hey.”

He looks at me. “Yeah?”

“I love you, and I think I’ll say it every day now,” I admit.

He smiles wide. “I think I will too love. Everyday.”

“Good,” I say before I turn and job up the stairs.

That lasts about five steps before I get winded. Clearly, I need to work on my endurance. Something I’m sure the guys will love to help with, especially in the home gym they designed. I don’t even want to think about the torture they will put me through in that room if I let them. Although having them message my sore muscles does have its appeal.

God, I’m horny. It’s embarrassing! I’ve never thought about sex so much in my life and that’s saying something since Sawyer is unstable even before the guys. He could barely go a day without being all over me and I was completely okay with that.

This has been going on long enough. I slip into the nursery and carefully lift Henry out of his crib and get comfortable in the rocking chair by the window. I can look at the ocean from the window as I’m feeding him, and I pull out my phone. I open the app for my doctor’s office and open a chat with my doctor. I ask her if it’s okay to have sex again a little early.

**Doc: No.**

I hate her so much right now.