Chapter 21: Bryn

**Bryn**


God I’m fuming. So much so that I need to angry eat right freaking now! I storm into the kitchen and throw one of the cabinets open only to be hit with the enormity of Sawyer's thoughtfulness. God, I hate him! Even still I’m not about to on hunger strike in spite of him, so I drop my bag on the ground pull myself up on the counter (short girl problems) and grab a bag of chickpea chips. I’m shoving chips in my mouth by the handful when Sawyer walks in.

He stops just inside the door and stares at me before slowly smiling. “What are you doing up there B?”

I hate the teasing tone in his voice. I hate him!

“You put the snacks too high for me to reach.” I snap at him but there’s no weight behind it.

Let’s be real, being angry is exhausting and these chips are helping a lot. My body deflates and I drop my eyes from Sawyer’s annoyingly handsome face and grumble to myself.

“Letting it go, are we?” He asks.

He knows me too well still. I guess as much as we hope to change most of us stay the same.

“Whatever.”

When I glance up at him, he’s standing closer and smiling at me in this weird way that makes my stomach roll. Or are these chips expired? I turn the bag and check to be sure, but nope they’re still fresh. Darn it! Stupid stomach and its stupid fluttering!

Sawyer reaches out and softly separates my legs so he can stand between them. He’s tall enough that this puts us eye to eye, so when I lift my head to look at him, we’re too close. It would be so easy for me to close the distance between us and kiss him like I’ve been dying to do. It’s hard having sex and not kissing, no wonder Vivian (aka Julia Roberts in her icon role) was against it. There’s this closeness missing no matter how good the sex is.

“B, I’m sorry. I know I’ve said it a lot already and I will probably say it a thousand times later, but I mean it. I’m a mess and I guess I’m not great at sharing you yet. When we were younger it was just you and me.” He sets his hands on either side of my legs and drops his head on my shoulder.

I shouldn’t encourage his bad behavior by giving in to his apology so quickly but I’m weak and crumble like a tower of cards.

“I hate you.” I grumble making him laugh at me.

He wraps his arms around my waist and squeezes me hard enough to make me grunt. When he lifts his head and releases his tight hold on me our faces are too close again. Uh!!! Why is he like this?

“B-“ He starts to say something but I’m moving before he can say another word to spoil this for me.

This is such a bad idea, but I’ve already done it. My lips are on his and a relieved chill runs down my spine. He doesn’t hesitate to reciprocate the kiss. I didn’t mean for it to get too heated, I just wanted to see how it would feel to kiss him, but when I try to pull away, he wraps one of his large hands around the back of my neck and holds me close. He won’t let me go and I don’t want him to.

We’re breaking the rules! I’m breaking the rule I made…I am pathetic. I’m supposed to be a strong determined unbreakable force of a woman except apparently when it comes to Sawyer. He breaks all my walls down with his dumb handsome face and smile and his smell. Uh, I hate him so much.

I whimper and melt against him as he parts my lips with his tongue. Our simple kiss turns heated and hungry like a flip of a switch. My hands are grabbing onto his shirt to anker myself while his hand moves from my neck to thread through my hair making me shiver.

To my surprise he’s the one who breaks the kiss first and I embarrassingly chase after him.

“Bryn.” His voice is soft but powerful enough to make me ache to have him kiss me again.

This is why we weren’t meant to kiss! I knew it would become my new addiction and I can’t have that.

“Hm?” I grumble as I blink my eyes open to look at him.

He isn’t giving me a teasing smile or smirking confidently at me. No, this look is something entirely new.

“You broke your rule?” He whispers.

I’m still drunk on that kiss so all I can manage is a nod.

“Why was that a rule again?” He asks.

“Because…it’s makes things complicated.” I mumble.

He hums. “I think I like complicated.”

Then he kisses me again and I think I black out because the next thing I know I’m waking up in a different bed without a stitch of clothes on. Well, I guess that’s a normal college experience, but I think usually you get drunk before this part. I seemed to have skipped a step. When I look to my left, I see a sleeping Sawyer and I smile at the memories slowly trickling back in. It wasn’t a dream. We kissed last night followed by a whole lot more, but we kissed!

What does this mean? Nothing right? I’ve already broken the rule, so I might as well throw the rule book out. Not wise since the rules keep you from making the wrong moves and getting thrown out of the game before you get a chance to shine.

Stupid sports metaphors.

I glance past Sawyer’s shoulder and gasp. “Oh my god I’m late!” I squeak making Sawyer jolt awake and scramble to his feet as if he’s expecting someone to jump out and attack him.

Meanwhile I’m grabbing my clothes and quickly pulling my underwear and bra on. No point in getting fully dressed since I need to change anyway, and it would cut out a step this way.

“What’s wrong?” Sawyer asks as I dash for the door and down the stairs.

“I’m late!” I yell over my shoulder.

“Late for what?” He asks.

I can hear him jogging down the stairs behind me but I have no time to wait. Of course, it seems like my closet has doubled in size and I can’t find the one shirt I need for this interview. Crap!

“My interview with my sponsor!” I finally say answering Sawyer.

“Your what?” He sounds sleepy and confused.

Can’t blame him since my mind has yet to catch up with the frantic movements of my body.

“My sponsor! Crap where is it? Ah!” I finally find the soft pink button up blouse I was looking for and grab a pair of black jeans and my ankle boots.

It’s about as fancy as I can get in such short notice.

“Like an AA sponsor?” He asks and that has me stopping to look at him like he’s freaking idiot.

“Are you serious? I’m not an alcoholic you boob.” I shake my head and continue my struggle of pulling my skinny jeans over my legs.

It’s a real struggle when you are in a rush let me tell you.

“I’m not exactly awake yet, that’s the first thing that came to mind.” Sawyer says defensively.

I snort a laugh and finally get my pants up. I’m pulling my shirt on and running into my bathroom a second later. My hair looks a mess, so I quickly run some water through it and brush it back into a tight bun. A bit of product to hide the stray hairs, and I’m rushing out of the bathroom. Oh make-up! I glance at my clock and decide make-up is not an option today. All natural it is then!

My bag is thankfully sitting on my desk…how did it get there? Oh well! I grab it and rush toward the door to my room. Sawyer is leaning against the wall next to it but I’m in too much of a rush to pay much attention to him. I run past him and basically sprint to the front door, but I stop short and jog back to my room. Sawyer is standing in the doorway now, so I quickly lift myself up to kiss him.

“See you later!” I call out and finally leave.

Of course, Louis isn’t happy with me for not giving him a chance to warm up so he struggles to get going making me even more late. I would be mad at him, but then he might really give out and I’d be screwed. I’m stopped at a red light when my phone chimes. I grab it and pray it’s not from my sponsor telling me they had to cancel my appointment because I didn’t make it in time. It’s not…thank God.

It’s from Sawyer and there’s a picture attached. A picture of a naked Sawyer on my bed.

Holy hell…I’m in over my head…