Chapter 26: Bryn

My mind is a mess. The meeting with my sponsor was not what I’d hoped it would be, then the panic from seeing that picture of Sawyer, and to add to it a creepy doctor making a weird house call. Well, I don’t think he delivered the food himself because there is no way he could have gotten here before us, but still…

I need to clear my head of this day. My clothes feel restricting, so I decide to get out of them and slip some comfy clothes on. My favorite sweatpants (the ones I’ve had since freshman year of high school) are laying on my bed so I grab those. I spot one of Sawyer’s shirts on a chair in the corner of my room so I grab that as well, and head for the bathroom. Since Sawyer has seen me naked plenty of times and we’re dating now I don’t bother closing the door.

It's not like I’m peeing or anything. My eyes are dry and tired so I take my contacts out first and put a few eye drops in before grabbing my face wash and getting rid of the little more than usual make-up I’m wearing. Once that’s done I start to feel a little less stressed and I take a deep breath. For some reason I stop and look at myself for a minute. My hair has started to fall out of the bun I had put it in and my face is slightly pink. Poppy was always so pretty, and she had this beautiful wavy hair that I was always jealous of. Unlike my crazy curly hair that I hated wearing naturally because it looked frizzy and unruly.

I’ve since discovered a routine of hair products that tame the hair but after a long day pulled back it feels good to let it out crazy or not. I’m about to pull the hair tie out when Sawyer steps in behind me and gives me a small smile through the mirror. There’s something in his eyes when he looks at me that reminds me of how my dad looks at my mom, but it has to be my imagination. No way are we at that stage yet. I mean sure I’ve wanted it, but that was so many years ago.

There had been no hope so I had accepted the fact that there would never be a world where Sawyer and I would be friends again. Yet here we are, more than friends. Younger Bryn would be squealing with excitement if she could see us now.

“Let me.” Sawyer says in a low voice that has me rubbing my thighs together.

He has made me permanently horny, and it’s not healthy. I won’t stop him though because he’s looking at me with so much heat in his eyes that makes me want to see him let go. Watching him lose it when we’re together gives me far more pleasure than anything else. He’s a big guy, but when we’re wrapped up in each other he softens. It’s indescribable.
I watch him as he takes the hair tie in his finger and tugs on it. My head jolts back from the force of it but the pull and the warmth from him standing right behind me makes me gasp in unexpected pleasure. We haven’t tried anything like hair pulling but I think I’m open to the idea. As he pulls the tie out my curly hair falls around my face framing it and making my eyes look darker. Or that can be my pupils dilating from pure lust.

Sawyer tosses the tie onto the counter and brushes my hair to one side.

“I think we should consummate our first night as a couple.” He whispers against the skin of my neck before following it with a soft brush of his lips.

I shiver and lean further back into him, but stop myself. There is one thing I need to ask him first. So I turn to look up at him and there is that look again. Stop it!

“Are you sure about this? You might think so because we have good chemistry during sex but that doesn’t mean-“

He cuts me off by cupping my face an leaning down and stealing my breath away with a kiss. This kiss isn’t desperate and hungry like the ones we shared before. This kiss is soft and slow. He pulls far enough away to speak but not so far that I can’t feel his lips brush against mine slightly.

“I have never been surer about anything in my life, except for hockey.” I laugh at that, but it doesn’t last long because Sawyer is kissing me again.

Now he’s kissing with the purpose of getting me worked up and squirmy. He leans down without breaking our kiss and picks me up off my feet. I’m carried over to my bed and laid down gently. Sawyer stands up straight and starts to get undressed. I’m pulling my sweatpants off at the same time but when I move to take my shirt off he stops me.

“Don’t. I want to fuck you while you wear my clothes. You look fucking sexy spread out like that.” He says and I flush all over.

His dirty talk is…hot. The one other time I had sex, it was too quick and there was no talking involved. I’m not sure that guy knew how to talk dirty. He grunted and groaned like an old man and finished like it was a race. Being with Sawyer has open my eyes to what sex can be like, and I’m not sure if anyone would live up to what he’s shown me. Even the idea of sleeping with another guy makes my stomach churn.

I don’t want to sleep with anyone else, but in the back of my head I can’t help thinking that this won’t last. It’s too fast and feels too good to be true. My normal reaction to those kinds of things is to prepare myself for the heart ache right away. I’m on guard and ready so that when things end or don’t work out the disappointment doesn’t hit so hard. Since I already knew it would fail I’m not surprised and I can shake it off and move on. Yeah, it’s not the healthiest way to handle things but it’s worked the many times I’ve tried it.

So I’ll enjoy this for now but I’m ready for it to end. Sawyer will get picked for NHL and be sent to who knows where to play and I’ll be here continuing my degree. Maybe when I graduate, I can end up on a team close to him but he won’t be ablet to pull strings like he did here. They will want a more experienced medical staff not a freshly graduated newbie. So we will end up in different places and everyone knows long distance relationships rarely work.

Sawyer will be surrounded by women who will do anything to get his attention and I won’t be there to kick their butts when they do. He’ll meet a supermodel somehow and they will have insanely attractive kids together. She’ll give birth and bounce back so fast that she’ll be modeling underwear within a week. Yeah, I’m not going to fit into that mold any time soon. I might be vegan, but I don’t enjoy exercising so even though my figure is slim I don’t have any defined muscles.

The curves gifted to me by my Latina mother also makes me look less modelesk as well.

I may not be model material but for now Sawyer seems to like what he sees. He even bends over to slide his t-shirt further up my thigh and starts positioning me in a certain way. Then he takes out his phone and takes a picture.

“Beautiful.” He says almost to himself.

He tosses his phone onto his pile of clothes and crawls over me. I wrap my legs around him and pull him down against me. His weight on me is one of my favorite things, or maybe it’s because it makes me feel like I’m completely surrounded by him.

God, he smells so good.
Is it weird that I want to lick him for smelling amazing? Probably.

“Bryn, fuck I’m addicted to you.” He whispers against my mouth before he kisses me. “I will never let you go.”

Mighty big promises made in the heat of pre-sex sweet talk, but I won’t take them to heart. Actions speak louder than words, and the only way I’ll know he means those words is if he shows me. It’s probably harsh and a little much but when it comes to matters of the heart you can never be too careful. Am I right?

“Just kiss me.” I say before threading my fingers through his hair and then use the position to pull him down for another kiss.

Oh god…I’m addicted to him too. This is going to end with both of us getting hurt, but I won’t regret nights like this.