Chapter 107: Bryn

Being without the other guys feels like a limb is missing. Thank god they come home today or I would have to hunt them down.

Yesterday I went to bed early and curled up with Henry after seeing the news. Nolan tried to talk me out of caring about what people say, but I don’t think it will ever not hurt. How could it not? This isn’t just about me anymore. All this gossip and bad talk about our family will affect Henry one day too. It’s made me rethink things.

God, I loved the guys so much but I have to think about Henry now. The media will find some way to twist things even more as he gets older. He’s innocent.

“They’re twenty minutes away,” Nolan says from the doorway.

He smiles and walks over to the bed and climbs up behind me. His strong arms wrap around me and he pulls me against his chest making me sigh.

“Are you still thinking about yesterday?” He asks, reading my mind.

“Yeah. I don’t know if I can do this anymore Nolan.”

He tugs on my shoulder to look at me better but I don’t want to see his face. I can’t look at him right now. It’ll hurt too much.

“What are you talking about love?”

“What is our life going to be like the long this goes on? What about Henry? When he starts going to school people are going to think he comes from a weird family. They tell him I’m a whore or something awful like that, and he’ll have to suffer being in the light of the media because of what we’re doing. I can’t do that to him. He didn’t ask for this.” I try to explain.

He’s silent for a long time which feels worse than him fighting with me.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone but maybe it-“

“Okay.” He says.

I’m stunned silent and I turn in his arms to face him.

“What?”

He looks at me and I hate the pain I see in his eyes, and that I’m the one who put it there.

“If that’s what you want then I get it. You want fewer eyes on you and Henry. You want to give him a normal life, and I can understand that. It was selfish of us to expect everything to be fine even here. We all thought you would have a fresh start and could be happy here, but we were selfish. I’ll let the other know, and we can start looking for another place.” He pulls away and panic ripes at my heart.

“Nolan.” I grab his hand to stop him but he gives me a sad smile.

“I love you Bryn, but all I want is for you to be happy. If us being here is only making things harder for you, then we need to go. It isn’t fair to you and Henry to have to suffer like this. We should have known that this might happen, but I guess we hoped no one would care about what we did after a while. It was stupid. I’m so sorry Bryn.” He lifts my hand and kisses it before turning and leaving the room.

What did I just do?

I hear the door open and close and tears pour out of my eyes instantly. My heart is cracking and it’s my own fault. Henry starts to cry like he senses what’s happening and I rush over to pull him into my arms.

“I know sweet boy. Mommy is stupid, but it’s for the best. You deserve to have a normal family.” I tell him but he doesn’t calm down.

There is movement downstairs and all I can imagine is that Nolan is packing his bags. Has he told the others already?

No.

The door to my room opens and three large bodies pour in and my stomach flutters.

“Hey, Angel!” Jaxon says with a big smile on his face.

He’s the first to reach me and he leans down to kiss me. When he pulls away he gives me a confused look.

“What’s wrong Angel?” He asks softly.

Sawyer pulls me away and squeezes me before giving me a breath-stealing kiss. Maddox grabs Henry while Sawyer attacks me, and when he stops I look between Jaxon and me.

“What’s going on?” Sawyer asks.

I look between them and my heart breaks completely apart. “I have to talk to you guys.”

They look nervous, and rightfully so. I give them the same speech I did with Nolan and then there is silence. Jaxon isn’t looking at me anymore, and Maddox is focused on Henry.

“Baby, what brought this on?” Sawyer asks brushing my hair away from my face.

I wish he wouldn’t, it’s protecting me from them seeing everything I’m feeling right now.

“We were on the news again.” All our heads snap to the door where Nolan is now standing.

All of them look at me again and I see realization. “Sweetheart, was it that bad?”

I shake my head. “It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, but when I looked down at Henry…it felt like everything was different. All I could see was how this would affect him. What would he have to deal with because we were selfish?”

They’re silent again, and then Jaxon sighs. “You’re right.”

“Like fuck she is!” Sawyer says before turning me to face him. “This is you being scared again. Shit Bryn, all you do is complain about how this is wrong. What this will do to us, and every single time we tell you we don’t care! None of us has suffered by being with you and you don’t care. All you care about is what people will think about us. You say we’re selfish, but from where I’m sitting you’re the selfish one! You rather ruin our family with your worry than fight to keep us together.” I’m stunned by his outburst.

Sawyer has never yelled at me before, but I can see it’s not coming from a place to hurt me. No, he’s hurting.

“Man, calm down,” Jaxon says putting a hand on Sawyer’s shoulder to calm him down. “She’s right man. We need to think about Henry too.”

Sawyer brushes him off and storms out of the room. I watch him go and I realize I might have lost more than the guys we welcomed into our family. I might just have lost my best friend, first love, and father to my son. Did I just ruin everything?

“I’ll go talk to him,” Maddox says but he takes Henry with him leaving me alone with Jaxon and Nolan.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I fight back tears.

Jaxon sighs and grabs my hand gently. “Don’t be sorry Angel. You’re doing what you think is right, and that’s okay.”

“I got us an Air B&B for the night,” Nolan says before he walks to the bed and leans down to kiss me on the head. “We won’t be far if you need anything. Okay?”

He leaves and Jaxon gives me a tight smile and squeezes my hand. “Anything.”

Then he leaves too.

I let out everything and start crying so hard that my body shakes. The shadows of the afternoon are cast on the floor in my room when I wake up. I must have cried myself to sleep. I just upward and run out of the room to Henry’s room. My heart aches when I see him sleeping peacefully in his crib.

Next, I search the rest of the house but no one is here. I look in the room that’s meant to be Sawyer’s and start crying again when I find his room empty too. My legs want to give out on me but I head for the stairs to see if by chance they are all down there. There are no lights on when I reach the bottom floor, and it doesn’t sound like anyone is around. A sob bursts out of me and I stumble toward the couch to stop myself from collapsing on the floor. It's ridiculous but I feel that weak and broken inside.

I decide that there is no harm in turning the TV on to the news station. Unsurprisingly they’re talking about us again. What more could they have to say? How are we suddenly so newsworthy that we take up two whole days? Then I see the guys. They’re walking into a building with their bags and trying their best to avoid the cameras.

“Sawyer! Sawyer! What are the four of you doing checking into a hotel? Is there trouble in paradise?” Someone yells and my breath hitches.

More people yell out similar things and Sawyer stops suddenly. “Don’t you fucking say that about my wife. Do you hear me? You all have tormented her to the point where she’s terrified. You all did that. Coming after my family is the biggest mistake you all will ever make. So listen to me right now. Anyone who says one more wrong word about my wife or our family will be facing legal ramifications. Do you understand? Now get the hell away from us.” He pushes through the crowd and I catch someone waiting for him inside.

A man in a suit, and I don’t need anyone to tell me that he’s a lawyer. Another man with him is taking pictures of the crowd. Sawyer was serious.