Chapter 41: Sawyer

I’m going to be a dad. I can’t believe it.

If I’m being honest, I hadn’t thought about being a dad…ever. My mind has been focused on hockey and the NHL. Going pro was all I’ve thought about for years, but when Bryn told me she’s pregnant, it was as if our whole lives flashed in front of me. Bryn pregnant and cooking in the kitchen, smiling like she’s never been happier. Me wrapping my arms around her and resting my hands on her stomach so I can feel the baby kick. Bringing the baby home and seeing Bryn being an amazing mother. A little toddler in hockey gear wobbling on the ice.

It all seemed…perfect. Now I want to tell everyone, but Bryn is right. Now isn’t the best time. I won’t be able to keep it a secret for long, especially because we have a wedding planned too. I’m marrying Bryn before this baby is born, so we’ll be a family in every way. I have to talk to Bryn’s dad. He gave me the go ahead earlier but I want to hear him say the words before I propose.

Shit, I need to get a ring. I’ll have to take Poppy with me to do that. Bryn will most likely want to get married soon, so she isn’t showing, which doesn’t give us a lot of time to plan. I’ll make sure it’s perfect, though, and with all the women in our family to help, I’ll be able to get everything done.

The nurse comes back in about five minutes later and looks nervous at first, but I guess my stupid, happy face was enough to show her everything is fine. She gives Bryn the instructions that the doctor left for her and reminds her to schedule a doctor’s appointment once we get back to school. Shit…school. How is she going to handle the load of work she has when she is going to be carrying a baby? Don’t pregnant women get crazy tired? Zach said Poppy slept a lot when she was ‘incubating’ Milly.

His words, not mine…

I’m going to have to do some research. There has to be a way for her to finish everything for her degree without wearing herself out. No mother of my child is going to be working overtime and growing a life inside her. We need to fix that.

“Ready?” Bryn asks me.

I must have gotten too deep into my list of things to get done and didn’t hear her the first time.

“What?”

“Ready to go? I want to see Milly.” She says.

“Yeah! Of course. Let’s go.”

She turns her body to move off the bed, but I reach out and take her hand to help her.

“Sawyer.”

“Hm?”

“I’m barely pregnant. I don’t need help standing just yet.” She says sweetly.

I chuckle nervously and let her hand go so she can stand on her own. Once she’s standing, she grabs my hand again and threads our fingers together.

“I didn’t say you could let my hand go.” She says with a wink before she leads me toward the door.

I let her because I feel like I’m drunk. So much crazy things have happened since she’s come into my life again that it feels almost like I’m dreaming about it. How didn’t I see before that she was the person I was always supposed to be with? She and I could have been like Zach and Poppy. My brother knew the second he saw Poppy that he was going to marry her. He would talk about her all the time and do small things to get her attention.

Even as kids, he was determined to make sure she knew how much he liked her. I could have learned something from him back then and then I wouldn’t have wasted all this time alone. Bryn and I could have already been married, and she would have had her degree. She would have been watching after me and I would have never gotten injured. If I hadn’t been an ass, everything could have been different.

Bryn walks down the hall toward the room where Milly is resting. All of our family is inside and that urge to tell them about the baby is hard to ignore, but I told Bryn we could wait, so I will respect her wishes.

“Aw, Milly.” Bryn says before she lets my hand go and walks over to the bed where Milly is still asleep. “How is she?”

“A lot better. They gave her some meds so her fever is going down. We’re waiting for a couple of tests to see if she has an infection of some kind, but the doctor thinks it might just be a cold. I asked them to run any possible test they could to be sure though. No way am I risking my baby getting worse because they didn’t catch whatever is making her sick sooner.” Poppy sounds intense and scary right now.

I half expect her to turn into a lion and start mauling people.

“That’s good. Sorry I caused such a scene before.” Bryn says but everyone talks over each other, saying she doesn’t have to apologize.

That’s Bryn though. She never wants to get in the way of others, and she never wants attention on herself. She would carry someone with a small cut on their leg while she has a broken arm and beg for a doctor to treat them before herself. I have never known someone so selfless and giving. She’s too good for this world, and if she can pass even a small bit of that to our kid, this world would be lucky.

“How long can you stay? I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Poppy says.

Bryn looks at me, and I shrug. This is our family, so I’m not going to jet off back to school if they need us. My classes aren’t that important, but I would have to let Coach know I’ll be away for a few extra days.

“Well, it’s Friday, so we can probably stay for the weekend and then catch a flight back home on Sunday,” Bryn offers.

“Yeah, we can make that work.” I say.

“Thanks guys.” Poppy pulls Bryn into a hug and they hold each other for a while.

Poppy starts crying and Bryn talks softly to her as she does.

We’re all heading back to Bryn’s house once Milly is finally discharged, and it’s late already. Bryn decides to cook for everyone, since none of us has eaten yet. We were all too worried about Milly to bother with anything more than coffee. Now that she’s out of the woods, we can all take care of our own needs. Poppy takes Milly upstairs to her old room to sleep while the rest of us pile into the living room. Bryn goes to the kitchen and I hear her moving things around, so I decide to join her.

I walk into the kitchen and stop. She’s already cutting vegetables and has a big pot out, and she looks exactly how she did when I saw our future together. Like a dream come true…

She starts humming and bobbing her head to whatever music is playing inside her head, and I smile at how happy she looks. There are so many little things she does that I’m starting to remember from when we were growing up. Like she does this happy dance when she’s eating food she likes. Or that when she wakes up, she starts singing some random song because it popped into her head the second she opened her eyes.

Sometimes when I’m at practice, she will send me a screen shot of her song of the day. I always search for the song and listen to it while I work out. There have been some crazy ones that I can’t figure out how anyone would know them, and others that were popular over the years. I never know what it will be, but I find myself wondering what song will be next. She also quotes movies all the time. She has a quote for almost any situation and she laughs every time. I don’t know half of what she’s talking about, but it’s her thing, so I like it.

“What are you making?” I ask her.

“I was thinking some soup would be good since it’s so late. Nothing too heavy.” She doesn’t look up from what she’s doing, so I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

I rest my hands on her still flat stomach and put my head on her shoulder. “I guess I’ll supervise then.”

She snorts. “So I get to do all the work and you get to watch? How thoughtful of you.”

“I am giving supportive hugs so you can feel appreciated. So yes, it is very thoughtful of me.” I reply and she laughs.

“I guess I can live with that.” She says happily.

“Good. Because I’m never letting you go.” I tell her and I mean it.

Nothing is going to separate me from her from now on.