Chapter 115: Bryn

We’re on a plane right now, and Henry is fast asleep on my chest as I look out the window. It’s completely dark outside, but I think I can still see some lights from whatever city we’re currently flying over.

After Jaxon spoke to some of his coworkers and they promised to keep looking into who was stalking me recently, we packed our bags and jumped on the next flight. We were going to be leaving soon anyway, but the guys didn’t want to wait. They wanted us out of the house so that some modifications could be made to give me and Henry more privacy.

They didn’t want to tell or show me the pictures they found but I told them that none of them would touch me again if they didn’t stop treating me like I’m breakable. It worked because I saw exactly the kind of sick person I’m dealing with. They even took pictures of me in my underwear. It had only been a second that I stopped in my steps to see the sun rising over the ocean, and yet it was long enough for someone to snap a photo.

Were finally off to the Soloman Islands to be married…well Jaxon, Maddox, Nolan and I. Sawyer is going to take care of Henry while we finish the ceremony. It feels unreal that there are places where this is okay, but I’m glad. To be able to marry all these guys feels like an honor, and they seem just as excited as me.

They hadn’t stopped talking about it until today. I’m worried that the whole thing might ruin the specialness of the ceremony but the guys seem determined to make me forget about what happened.

“How are you doing sweetheart? Need anything?” Maddox asks against my ear.

The feel of his breath against my ear and neck makes me shiver. “I could use some water,” I say.

Breastfeeding makes me very thirsty sometimes, and hungry. My stomach starts to growl the second Maddox gets the flight attendant's attention.

“Hi, can we get some water and a menu?” He asks the woman.

She smiles brightly and flutters her lashes at him making me narrow my eyes on her. I want to knock that smile off her face, but as soon as she walks away Maddox grabs my hand and lifts it to his lips. He kisses it gently and rests our joined hands on his leg. It’s like he knows that I wasn’t liking that woman eyeing him. Upgrading to first-class means that we get more attention from the flight attendants but that means this same woman keeps trying to flirt with my guys. Honestly, I could see her not being sure about the other guys because they aren’t sitting next to me, but Maddox? He’s freaking right there holding my hand with a baby on my chest. How can she not know?

God, I feel stupid for being jealous like this…maybe it’s hormones…

“Don't worry sweetheart. We only have eyes for you.” Maddox whispers to me as the attendant comes back with my water and a menu.

“How did you know?” I grumble making him chuckle.

“You get this look on your face like you're ready to pounce. It’s cute as hell.” Another chuckle that only gets louder when I smack him in the chest.

“Shut it or I’m not marrying you,” I say.

“Is that so? Maybe the att-“ he grunts when I elbow him in the stomach.

“Watch it Mr,” I warn him.

He smiles wide at me wraps his hand around my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. I expect it to be quick but he tightens his hold on me to stop me from breaking the kiss. He only releases me when I’m out of breath.

“Have you decided what you would like to order?” The sound of the woman’s voice makes me jump a little and I look up to see the attendant looking at us.

She gives me a tight practiced smile but I see a tightness in her jaw.

“Uh yeah, can I have the chicken please?” I say quickly and a little awkwardly.

“And you?” She looks at Maddox with a friendlier smile but I ignore it.

Maddox made his feelings clear, so I shouldn’t worry. Still times like these I wonder if I’m being too selfish. It’s a stupid insecurity that I’m not sure will ever really go away. Henry starts to whine and Maddox immediately grabs my breath-feeding cover and slips it over my head. I lower my top and Henry latches on without any trouble. He’s been doing really well, but the guys have still convinced me to continue pumping so that they can take night shifts so I can sleep. At first, I felt guilty for keeping him from me, but they told me it helped them bond with Henry.

I couldn’t say no after that argument.

“I’ll burp him when you’re done, Angel,” Jaxon says over my shoulder.

He and Sawyer are set up in the seats behind me and Nolan sits across the aisle from us. Poor thing isn’t great with flying and has been passed out since we took off thanks to some meds that are supposed to help with anxiety. We’ve checked him a couple of times and he’s still breathing so we’ve left him to rest for now. I just hope he isn’t too out of it to enjoy our trip. From what he’s told me, he’s never been on a trip like this before. He spent so much time on his career that there is a lot he missed out on over the years.

My brilliant man deserves a vacation more than any of us, and I want to make sure he enjoys it. The guys planned the ceremony but I made a few plans of my own. A few calls allowed me to arrange a boat ride to a private island where we get to stay in a beautiful house that sits just offshore. It was a long shot that we would be able to get the place, but there was a cancelation and I was able to get the place at half the price.

It was a stroke of luck but I’m counting my stars that everything will go well and a storm doesn’t roll in and mess up my plans. We’ll be able to scuba dive right off our deck, and a personal chef will prepare our meals. It’s the most money I have ever spent but according to Sawyer’s agent who called when he heard about our trip, there is enough of it to set us for life. Apparently, Sawyer had been promised a substantial amount of money to sign with this team because he was highly sought after.

I knew he was an amazing player but he didn’t tell me how much they offered to have him in LA. Hockey isn’t the highest paying sport, but in special cases, a team is willing to shell out an obscene amount of money for a player. Which is Sawyer, my amazing talented husband.
“Did you pack some tiny bikinis for our trip baby?” Speaking of the stud player...

“You’ll have to wait and see,” I say giving him a playful smile, but my heart is racing like crazy.

My body isn’t the same as it used to be. Not that I had a special kind of shape, it was average. Average chest size, average waist, average hips…you get the point. Since having Henry everything seems a little more accentuated. Breastfeeding has helped me lose the baby weight, but my hips are a little more prominent and my chest size is definitely different. There is also the matter of stretch marks. They aren’t too obvious but they are there and I notice them.

The guys have been so sweet about it and tell me constantly how beautiful I am but they don’t understand how hard it is to accept that. If I don’t feel beautiful then no amount of people saying it will work. It’s a horrible cycle but it’s true. So why did I indeed buy a couple of bikinis and a sort of sexy one-piece with pieces cut out of it?

Well according to the new mom forums, to feel beautiful you have to do yourself up like before you had a baby. Wake up and get dressed and do your make-up just like before is supposed to help you feel normal, like your old self. So I’ve been trying. So far it has helped but wearing a bikini is far from doing my makeup in the morning.

God, I hope it won’t be a mistake that I bought those suits.

“I vote that she doesn’t wear anything at all,” Jaxon mumbles only loud enough for us to hear…thank god.

“I second that motion,” Sawyer says with a chuckle.

“Third,” Maddox adds.

“No way in heck will I be going nude,” I say firmly. “But, I’m open to you guys doing it. Especially when you see my surprise.”

They give me a questioning look but I just smile. Yeah, I’m going to be hiding their suits once we get to the island because I'll be the only one to see them in all their naked glory. Yes, please!