CHAPTER 133: VERY PAINFUL DECISION

“Have you talked to your lover, Pamela? Regarding this unexpectable hiccup we are facing? You knew well that we have to deal with this matter soon. We can’t simply neglect this turn of events, if we wish to get our money. The longer we prolong things, the more it would be struggling for us to have that wealth.” 

“We partially talked about it, Ivar. But as expected, he wasn’t in favor of what Penelope’s camp was insisting on from us. He will never let go of his daughter, Ivar. He will never agree, if we take heed of their demand. I knew Michael too much, his love for his daughter was beyond anyone could ever measure. It’s impossible for us to persuade him to return Michelle. He will never compromise on this one.” 

“So what now? Because I will never compromise either, Pamela. I want my money. I want my share. And the only way I see fit to have it is if we give what they want, if we comply with their demand and hand over the child. We must return the child to them, there’s no other way, or it’s goodbye one thousand million dollars to us.” He eyed me truthfully, unmasking any pretentiousness and revealing the true him. 

“We can’t let that money slip away, Ivar. As much as you wanted it, I too ache for it myself. I will not allow my money to just simply fly away from me. Not now. Not after all the efforts if risked, no! I didn’t place myself in this situation to simply go home empty handed.” 

“So what are you planning to do then? Because I’ve already made up my mind, Pamela. Regardless if I have to act not in accordance with our agreement and create unwanted circumstances between the two of you and I, I will definitely hand the child to them. I am saying this to you, being transparent to you, because you two are part of this operation. I don’t wish to bypass the two of you. I considered you as part of the team the minute I took this job, that is why I am telling you everything I had in mind.” 

A heavy and very laborious breath escaped from my throat. I couldn’t think clearly. My mind is in total and absolute turmoil. There’s an ongoing battle between my mind and heart. I wanted the money so fucking much, there’s no denying that, just as much as I want Michael in my life. But I could only choose one, and right now, the money was all that I cared most about. That is all I can think of. I had been eaten by this avaricious obsession for power and enormous wealth. It’s running and circulating in almost every inch of me. I will surely lose my mind if I lose my money.

“I have no other choice, but to choose one. Michael is my first true love and we’ve been together through thick or thin. I love him so much, with all honesty, but…” 

“But?” His eyebrow arch as he continues to stare at me. I can see in his eyes that he was studying me, not just my words and the truthfulness of it, but further within.

“But I am sick and tired of living my life with just enough of everything. There were things I desired to acquire, but due to limited resources even if I worked hard enough, I couldn’t afford to purchase them. I crave to be wealthy. Filthy fucking wealthy. That’s one of my ultimate dreams in life. I want to have uncountable money, something that will supply my every need and wants for a lifetime.” 

“So does that mean you are with me? That we are on the same pace? Huh Pamela?” My head immediately nodded without even thinking twice. “Perfect! Truly perfect, my dear! I am definitely right about you. You have the mind of a true genius! What is love when there’s no food on the table, right?” He laughed out loud and his face suddenly brightened up. 

“But how will we do it? Because honestly, I don’t know how this will work without hurting Micheal physically. I am torn, Ivar, I don’t know what to do.” I held my throbbing head, grabbing strands of my hair in bulk and pulling it away in troubled grievance. 

From the time I learned about this crazy demand of Penelope, I could no longer feel any calmness within me. For the past several hours, I was completely drowned with endless thoughts of what I must choose and what course of action that I must adhere to. But as I've told Ivar, I have finally made up my mind as well. I have come to a conclusion and it’s final.

A very painful decision, which I am most certain that Michael will forever hold a grudge on me. He might even kill me if by chance we meet again. Well I have anticipated these outcomes the minute I’ve made a decision to choose the money rather than my love for him. Call me selfish and a self-centered, ambitious bitch, but I needed that money badly. I want to change my life, to really change it three hundred sixty degrees. I want to buy many things, luxurious things that I’ve only dreamed of. I extremely desired to explore the world, to live in lavishness and utmost abundance. I deserve that kind of life, I deserve to be a billionaire, after all the sacrifices and hardship I have been through. 

Perhaps they were right when they said that money changes everything, even the love and respect to people they value changes, when covetousness for money begets a person. I admit that I’ve never been this greedy in my entire existence, only now. Who wouldn’t, right? This money would definitely change anyone’s life. No one wouldn’t be ravenous for five hundred thousand dollars. Anyone would even kill to have a thousand dollars, what more five hundred thousand, right? 

“Let me deal with that, Pamela. You don’t need to worry about anything, I will handle it. Leave it to me, my dear.” I eyed him with suspicion as I felt my body numbing in inevitable chill. 

“You’re not going to kill him, right? I don’t wish him dead, Ivar. Please just not that one.” 

“Of course not, Pamela. He will not die, not physically for that matter. I give you my word, there will be other ways to prevent him from intervening with our plans, but not physical death.” 

I headed outside for a time with myself. Although I have made up my mind, my heart is bleeding with my decision. I felt my tears streaming down involuntarily on my cheeks. Part of me is grieving at the upcoming turn of events. I can feel my heart quenching tightly, it is tearing apart right this very moment. 

‘I’m deeply sorry, Michael. I hope you can forgive me someday, but pity me, because I knew you wouldn’t. I love you so much, Sweetheart, but I need to consider and love myself as well. As much as I wish to have both, I simply can’t.’