CHAPTER 37: FAR NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE

The moment Penelope told me about leaving and temporarily had given me sole custody of Michelle for some business matters, which I honestly doubted the authenticity and truthfulness of her words merely because I knew she wasn’t capable enough to any form of business matters, I couldn’t contain the extreme joy I felt inside of me. My heart was filled with utmost content, which I had been conceiving for such a long time.


Right after our divorce, all I ever cared about was to have sole custody of my daughter. I haven't wanted anything to do with Penelope ever since, but the court didn’t grant my wish, so I had no other option but to have joint custody with her. Although I am aware that Michelle needed a mother as she walked through her life, I could fulfill that duty for her and could more sufficiently provide her all of her needs.


Recently, just a couple of days ago, I talked to my legal adviser about the possibility of sole custody. Aside from domestic violence, substance abuse and mental health issues, which were the primary reasons for the court to grant sole custody, he said that geographic distance and the ability to provide for the children and the capability to meet their needs were also some key factors that the court considers.


Knowing for a fact that I couldn’t use the rest of the option, because it wasn’t applicable to Penelope, the only chance I had was the ability to provide for a child, which I perfectly knew Penelope couldn’t manage. For the past six years of our marriage, there was never a time that she was employed. She just stayed at home and took care of the household and my daughter. Everything that was needed, all the basic needs such as food, clothing, healthcare, as well as extracurricular activities and Michelle’s education now, all came out from my pocket. So basically, I was and still is currently, the sole provider for us. Penelope didn’t contribute any amount, not even a single penny, during those years.


So after my lawyer detailed to me everything that I needed to know and what were the course of actions I must take heed, I decided to plead my case of having sole custody of my daughter in court. I am confident that the court will be on my side, because all Penelope has now was herself and her senseless pride.


I haven’t talked about this to Pamela, because she was still in her grieving time for the loss of her beloved father. I am simply waiting for the right opportunity and timing to disclose it to her soon. I wanted to ease her worries as well. She may not say it to me and it may appear as if she wasn’t bothered that her sister and I still see each other because of our daughter, but I am aware that at some point, she also wished that we wouldn’t meet as much as possible.


I love Pamela and would do anything to make her happy. That is why I desired to pursue my plea in court, so I could totally remove Penelope from our path and start a future with the woman I solely love. Although Michelle might be against my plan, knowing how much she was attached and loved by her mother, she was a smart kid and I believe that she would understand everything in the long run.


With these thoughts in mind, I planned to tell Pamela the details later when she arrives for our first indoor dinner together with Michelle. Although they have seen each other several times recently and were relatives, as Pamela was her mother’s sister, I wish my daughter to be even closer to her, because sooner or later, she will be her stepmom. I know that this was a delicate issue and I might have a problem with Michelle about this, but with her smartness and deep understanding, I don’t think I would be having a hard time making her open up to Pamela and see her as her second mother.


With regards to Pamela, we already talked about this. We talked about Michelle a lot of times previously. She cleared it to me that she accepted Michelle as part of my life and would love to be part of her life as well if given a chance, because of her deep affection to me. So the one that I must convince right now and woo was Michelle. I also wanted to ask Pamela to live with us, because I wish to make her legally mine soon, and I am planning to ask her tonight as well.


“What’s the occasion, Daddy? Why is there a lot of food on the table tonight? It isn’t my birthday yet,” Michelle quizzically asked the minute she arrived at the dining table, which made me beam with delight.


“Your Aunt Pamela will join us for dinner tonight, princess. I want both of you to get to know each other more.”


“I already knew Aunt Pamela, Daddy. She was Mommy’s older sister, right?”


“Yes, you do know her, but I want you to know her more. You’ll like her, princess. She’s the kindest person I ever knew and I believe you will like her as well.”


“Why do I need to get to know her more? Will she be part of our lives soon? Will she be my stepmother?”


Her straight to the point inquiries made me stop from what I was doing at the dining table and stared at her intently. I couldn’t grasp the maturity of my daughter’s mind. Michelle was definitely too advanced in thinking that she was already aware of such a delicate issue at her young age. It made me walk towards her and squat in front of her, smiling widely and proudly admiring her smart-mind.


“You needed someone who would look after you while you grow up, princess. Someone like your Aunt Pamela, who I fully believe could nurture you more as you aged.”


Her small face contoured puzzledly as her beautiful and expressive eyes gazed at me with confusion. I could tell merely by looking at her that she wasn’t one hundred percent approving of the idea. Well most children don't, but with the right and proper amount of explanation, I know that she would see it my way and would accept Pamela in time.


“But I already have Mommy, Daddy. I don’t need another mommy, because Mommy was enough for me.”


“I perfectly understand what you’re saying, princess. We are not replacing your mother, all I am saying was you needed someone who would be there for you all the time. Someone who would take you to school and fetch you, someone who would constantly assist you and would be physically available to tend you every time.”


“Mommy does that to me every time I am with her.”


“How about if you weren’t with her? I could do it of course, but Daddy has work too. There are times I am not around to supervise you and that’s where your Aunt Pamela would come in.”


She sighs heavily as if what I said wasn’t reasonable enough for her. “Why can’t you and Mommy live together just like before, Daddy? Why does it have to be a different person who will look after me when Mommy was more than capable of doing all of what you said?”


I didn’t imagine that explaining this issue would be this hard to Michelle. It was as if I was talking to a teenager rather than a toddler. Her reasoning was spot on and unwaveringly determined. I know her too well, she would push her way as much as possible, but I need her to see things my way simply because I know more about what's good for her and for her future.


“Princess, I know that you are aware of what’s happening between your Mom and I. Just like I told you before, we couldn’t be together anymore even if you wanted to. There are reasons why we can’t live together and the only thing we could do is to accept it and move on with our lives normally. You won’t fully understand now why, but time will come when you will comprehend everything. For now, all Daddy is asking you is for you to trust me, because I know what’s best for you and for your future.”


She didn’t answer back and simply eyed me blankly. My mood turned sour while my heart was filled with worries and anxiety. I only want what’s best for her and I am more than willing to give the world to her. But what she was perceiving was far next to impossible. Although I made an oath to myself that I would do everything for her and grant her everything that she wished for, I guess this request of her was the only thing I couldn’t give her the satisfaction of having.


‘I am deeply sorry, Michelle, but I couldn’t give you your heart’s desire of reuniting with your mother. I hope someday you’d understand why and when that time comes, I prayed you would forgive me for not including your mother in our lives. We couldn’t have everything we wished for, princess, that’s how cruel life is.’