CHAPTER 61: BEING UNFAIR

From that day on, I dedicated most of my time focusing on Michelle, my father and eventually on my work. I had intentionally preoccupied myself, especially my mind, on things that would divert my attention with regards to what was happening around me.


I rarely see Nicole for the past couple of days every time I was in the mansion, which somewhat relieved me. She must have aloof herself as her way to subdue the pain she had been dealing with and heal. As much as possible, I didn’t wish to bump into her on any occasion so as not to add commotion on what has already occurred.



But that’s not the case with regards to Lewis. I don’t think there would ever be an occasion that I wouldn’t be seeing him nor bumping into him, plainly because of his position as my father’s physician. I frequently see him almost everywhere inside the mansion and sometimes even at the empire.


And I must admit, there was never a time that his presence let my heart be at a stand still. He never fails to make my heart rumble like several drums were rolling inside of it, especially every time I caught him stealing a glance at me. His eyes were as if a magnetic force that made me struggle anxiously and caused me to experience laborious breathing, which was literally hard to escape.


I am aware that he knew how much he was affecting me, but nonetheless, I tried my very best to still maintain my composure every time he was around and nearby. I don’t know what it is with my father, but he seems to be adding more logs with our current situation and he seems to be enjoying my reaction every time I was with them.


There were incidents in which he would intentionally order and summon Lewis to accompany me to places, which I am fully aware that he shouldn’t be as it was no longer in the scope of his job description. Like my father was doing it purposely, so Lewis and I could spend more time together, which really baffled me as to why he was deliberately administering such a thing.


Just like now. My mouth literally dropped open while my eyes unwillingly protruded in bewilderment as I unbelievably stared at him, while he addressed Lewis unashamedly with regards to the event that I would be attending later this evening.


“Lewis, kindly escort my daughter later at the charity ball that she would be attending later this evening. I wouldn’t be able to attend with her, I wish to rest early tonight.”


“But Dad, I could manage going on my own. I don’t need anyone accompanying me. Besides, you needed him here more. You didn’t even ask him if he was available this evening, how could you just order someone to accompany me without even asking them first if they’d be willing to?”


As much as possible and if I will get to decide for myself, I didn’t wish to be alone with Lewis. Being solitary with him could give birth into something that I know I couldn’t control, just like what manifested the previous night at the pergola. I knew what I am capable of handling and what I’m not and being with him, just the two of us, was one of those things I am in no strength of mustering.


Dad stared at me half amused and half skeptical. He was full of knowledge that I was avoiding Lewis as much as possible, and it irritates me that he was still pushing what he desires to accomplish regardless of my contradiction and retaliation.


“Lewis?” He asked nonetheless without removing an eye from me.


“It would be an honor for me to accompany your daughter this evening, Sir.”


A lump barricaded my throat from breathing properly. I didn’t dare to look at Lewis knowing that he was staring at me now. My mind was clogged with worried thoughts of what might occur tonight between the two of us. I am most certain that it would be a night filled with uneasiness and struggle on my part.


“It’s all settled then” Dad finally concluded, which made me exhaustedly sighed.


“Could I come too, Grandpa?”


“You can’t, little munchkin, that’s for grown ups only. You stay here with grandpa and tell me bedtime stories.”


“Alright, Grandpa.”


The whole duration of our luncheon definitely unsettled both my mind and heart. I carried the disturbance feeling all throughout the day. It immensely intensified when the clock striked six, which was the moment where Lewis and I had to leave and be on our way to the charity event. Too cognizant of what could occur the entire evening, I was having second thoughts of attending all of a sudden. If only I could disregard this event and simply not go ahead as scheduled, I would have done it and cancel everything. But I can’t, so I have no other option but to endure the coming of hours with Lewis and hope that none of what I feared would happen.


My eyes behold Lewis the minute I set foot at the sole of the stairs. He was dashingly and handsomely dressed for the occasion in his tailored tuxedo and trousers. His jet-black hair was immaculately styled into perfection, which further makes my heart radically thump from its ribcage. The moment our eyes met, my knees swiftly wobbled. I had to hold the railing of the stairs to steady myself as he slowly walked towards me. His eyes were filled with deep admiration and in awe. Everywhere it landed sent parts of me in a burning state, which made me sweat in bullets with nervousness.


“You look stunningly beautiful tonight, Penelope,” His casual praise was more than enough to make me buckle up with my words as I consecutively grappled for breath.


“We better be going. I don’t wish to be late and be the center of anyone’s attention” I muttered awkwardly before walking ahead of him.


I was expecting to see a driver near the sports car that was at the anterior part of the garage, but sighting none, my eyes literally flipped in total disbelief. My father must have planned for this to give both Lewis and I a much needed privacy, which abruptly sickened me.


Lewis opened the door for me in the front seat. I didn’t argue with him and hastily climbed in. As expected, he settled in the driver’s seat, which makes it even harder for me to compose myself since we are only a few inches away from each other. My body automatically distanced itself when his hand moved to the clutch. My abrupt movement made him gazed at me with confusion, but he didn’t utter a word about it and started to drive.


Silence overruled the duration of our trip. I didn’t utter a single word, but I could heavily feel the tension in the air. I am somewhat relieved of the eerie silence roaming around us, but it was short-lived the minute I heard him speak.


“Why do I have the feeling that you were avoiding me?” I decided to zip my mouth and not to respond. He sighed heavily. My heart almost fell from my lap when he suddenly held my freezing hand. “Penelope, why are you avoiding me?”


“I’m not.”


“You are. I’m not blind-sighted enough to notice it. Why?”


I couldn’t find the right words to say to make him see that our situation was too complicated enough for me to bear. I knew for a fact that there’s nothing wrong about it, but I can’t simply neglect the thought that we are hurting Nicole and that makes it hard for me to stomach everything.


“Lewis…”


“Was this because of her? Were you avoiding me because of Nicole? Because if you do, then you are being unfair not just to me, but to yourself as well.”


“I can’t ignore the thoughts that she was hurting because of us, Lewis. I can’t simply force myself not to think about it, about her” I responded truthfully with hopes that he will do the initiative of stopping what he started, so I could be at peace again just like before when all of these ever commenced.


“But what you are acting now isn’t fair at all, Penelope. I love you and she must accept it regardless of what. Can you please kindly disregard her, because there’s nothing she will do to stop me from loving you. I already told you what my heart contains and I will never back down just because someone’s hurting for loving you.”


My head was starting to ache at what he confessed. I don’t know how long I could withstand the raging of my heart, but as days passes by, it slowly and gradually overrules what my mind was fighting on to.