CHAPTER 58: NIGHTMARISH REVELATION

Deeply concerned and botheredness was what I currently felt at this very moment. Seeing Penelope submerged in webs of thoughts literally made my mind restless and overthinking. Contemplating what could have been the reason behind her waywardness. I knew this had something to do with what happened to us the night before as well as what had just occurred between her and Nicole at the dining table.


Frankly speaking, I was shocked and was taken aback with what I heard this morning. The tone of Penelope’s voice, and so was Nicole’s rudeness, were evidently out of the ordinary and unusually peculiar. It was as if they were engaged in some heated discussion of some sort, which was heard from a distance.


Never in my wildest dream have I thought Nicole would dare to have the audacity to speak like that in front of her boss’ daughter. Her mind must have crank up a bit to do such a thing, which was terribly disrespectful and somewhat ludicrous.


This was the reason why I am in search of her now. I wished to have a word with her, which I should have done days ago prior to my confession to Penelope. I should have cleared things with her first and made her understand. I should have spoken to her ahead and clarified with her, that it wasn’t her my heart yearns for, but Penelope’s.


I saw her in the back garden, precisely where Penelope had seen us talking previously. She was obviously in deep thoughts as she gazed at the pond. Her mind must have been so preoccupied that she wasn’t aware of my presence, as I stood a few inches in distance from her. I already had in mind what I wish to convey with her in desperate hopes that she would find it in her heart to understand me this time and take heed of what’s the right thing for her to adhere to.


“Can I have a word with you, Nicole?”


Her head swiftly turned towards me. Unexpectancy and bewilderment bore her eyes for a while, then seconds later, they were swimming in a tank filled with somber fluids. “What about, Lewis?” She uttered in a lifeless tone, evidently not in a good spirit, before snatching them away from me.


“This is with regards to the occurrence situated earlier in the dining room. What’s gotten into you? How could you speak like that to our employer’s daughter? That was completely and outrageously disrespectful of you, Nicole. I wasn’t expecting it from you.”


“She was the one who started the haughtiness, not I. She told me to shut up if not spoken at every time her precious daughter was nearby, emphasizing that what I uttered in Beechworth when her good-for-nothing ex hit you was unpleasant to her ears, in which as far as I could remember, I apologized about in an instant. You heard it yourself loud and clear, right? She exclaimed those words like a feisty tigress that was viciously prepared to devour me any minute.”


“I heard about almost everything, Nicole. But nonetheless, you shouldn’t have responded in such a way like what you did. She’s our employer’s daughter, for Christ’s sake! What if she urged her father to relieve you from your job for answering her the way you did back there? What if she told her father to find a replacement for you and dismiss you right away? Do you think Mr. Hunt will think twice of pardoning you and retaining you to your job for being rude to his only offspring?”


“Why does it feel like I was the one at fault here, Lewis? She bitched around at me and do you expect me to simply let her off? Just like that? Well I’m sorry if I disappointed you, but I’m not that kind who will simply accept every mockery and ridiculing just because I was facing a high and mighty one.”


“This was simply a misunderstanding, Nicole. Don’t make a huge fuss about it. We must uphold our status in this household. Although it was her father who paid for our services, the fact remains that Penelope is our boss’ daughter and must be respected at all times. The same respect that we showed and gave to Mr. Hunt for years now.”


“Respect her at all times, huh? Have you? Have you shown her some respect the night before? Do you live up with that principle of yours that we must uphold our status in this household, Lewis?” She grumpily mocked, looking me straight in the eyes and didn’t dare to even blink. Her statement was gravely enveloped with sarcasm and hatred, which partially stupefied me on my ground.


“What are you talking about?”


“Oh, don’t play dumb at me, Lewis!” She shouted before huffing loudly. “I saw what you did to her! My eyes clearly saw and witnessed what happened the night before at the pergola! Was this why you're overprotective of her? This was the sole reason why you spoke to me now, right? So you could castigate me for speaking ill of her this morning, because of the intimacy that befell and cropped up the night before!”


“Stop this nonsense, Nicole.”


“Stop? Why would I stop? She was the one, right? It was her, am I right? You didn’t acknowledge my affection towards you and didn’t even give my love a chance, because it was that bitch whom you were eyeing at. She knew you liked her, that's why she seduced you last night! You were blinded by her innocent facade, where in fact she’s a flirt who knows how to play her cards well. Now she has you spinning at the palm of her hand.”


My patience ran thinned all of a sudden, because of her slandering words about Penelope that none were even close to reality nor true. I could feel every muscle in me flexing with anger as I stared at her with disbelief and ridicule. Assuming she did see us last night, but that didn’t give her the right to talk ill of Penelope and mock her in front of anyone else.


“I said stop it!”


“I will not stop until you tell me the truth! She seduced you, right? She must have let you touch her front or most probably she said some kinky words to hook you on her spell.”


“I said fucking stop, Nicole! You want the truth? I’ll tell you the truth! Yes, it was her! She didn’t seduce me nor flirted with me! I was the one who initiated the kiss, because I love her! I fucking love her! There! Will that make you stop whining now and acting as if you're a jealous girlfriend?”


“Damn you! Damn both of you, Lewis!” She screeched with gritted teeth and eyes scorching in menacing flames.


“Stop acting like a jealous girlfriend, Nicole, because you aren’t. I told you before that I like someone else and it wasn't you” I murmured frustratedly, hurting because I have to reveal to her the truth in a harshful manner. “Don’t insist on winning my heart, because it belongs to somebody else now. I love her and you must accept that, because that will never change. I will continue loving her even if you kill me.”


I was startled by the swiftness of her movements as her hand heavily landed a slap on my cheek. It stung at the intensity, but what pained me more was the anguish I was seeing in her eyes as she was shakingly weeping in rage and indescribable sorrow.


“Fuck you, Lewis! How could you hurt me this much? Of all people, why does it have to be you who would pain me severely?”


“I’m sorry, Nicole, but I can’t force my heart to love someone else. It screams for her alone. I am terribly sorry for causing you these pains.”


***


My heart continued to bleed intently with his nightmarish revelation. I partially knew the truth, since the night before, but hearing it straight from him was utmostly and excruciatingly devastating.


No amount of apology from him would suffice nor alleviate the intense pain I am feeling now. It was as if I was slapped countless times and my heart got stabbed endlessly, leaving it severely hanging on in slow death.


I was bursting out in agonizing tears in front of the man who ripped my heart into shard pieces, shameless and vulnerable as hell. The immense anger inside of me, not just for him, but for Penelope as well, was gravely evident as every vein I have contracted and bulged. I could feel my blood surged up to my brain, causing me to think evilly to avenge my badly wounded heart.


‘I will never accept anything you said, Lewis. I will only willingly receive what I believe in and what my heart says. I didn’t wait for you in years to end up in this miserable state. I didn’t bury my heart loving you just to bear witness of someone gaining your heart in return. I will never accept this crap, Lewis! There’s no way in hell I would adhere to this foolishness you were letting me perceive. I will fight for you over her, if it's the last thing I would have to do.’