CHAPTER 16: THE LETTER

The entire trip back home was definitely daunting and suffocating. Having another heated encounter with Michael and hearing yet again his adamant words that were laced with disgust and mockery continues to pain and suffer me. He once again had beaten my heart with a series of battering blows that only lengthens and deepens the scars he had inflicted to me for years. The huge crater that he dug inside my heart over the years was scraped further again, thus making it hollower and even more concavely indented.


I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I don’t have a single clue of what to make of my life either. I felt so completely lost and on the verge of finally losing my sanity. Wherever I turn, wherever I go, there will always be someone or something that will never-endingly remind me of the crooked mistake I made. It seems everyone has turned their backs at me, that I had no one to hold on to, even myself. It felt like the whole world was playing tricks on me and manhandling me in every angle. As if it was conniving with fate to intentionally prolong my agony and increase my misery until it drove me from mentally breaking out.


Day by day, my life’s worth and even my respect for oneself seems to decline in rampant speed to an endless hole of darkness. I was striving hard to crawl out of the shit hole I was in with the remaining driving force inside of me, but the people around me were doing their utmost best as well to pull me down and stop me from resurfacing. I wanted to forget the nightmarish remnants of the past, but all of them kept on shackling me to remain in those nightmares.


I am so fed up with everything. The continuous accusations, mockery and haughtiness everyone displays at me was immensely burdensome that I just wanted to killed myself to stop the undying pain from reoccurring. I simply wanted to end my life and get over everything. That would be my ultimate escape from all these shits hovering over me. If not for Michelle, if not for the only person who still brought some light in this endless blackness I was in, I wouldn’t think twice of taking the life God has given me.


I am at the lowest and gravest point of my life. I can’t even see myself anymore surpassing this painful phase. It was eating the life in me. I felt like I was living in vain, worthless and inefficacious. I am in a stage at which it is no longer possible to stop what others are doing and when its effects cannot be avoided or prevented. I am at a point of no return and it desperately sickened me.


“Mom? Aren’t you coming inside?”


My thoughts were constricted as I heard my daughter’s angelic voice that made me look back at her from the backseat. Her puzzled stares gazed at me with concern and deep love that somehow temporarily erased my wayward thoughts as I gingerly smiled back at her.


“Of course I’ll go inside, baby. You go ahead with Carol and prepare for sleep, Mommy will be right behind you.”


“Alright,” She was about to alight the car and take Carol’s extended hand when she glanced back at me. “Mommy?”


“Yes, baby.”


“I love you so much, Mommy. Just wait for me to grow up and I promise, I will personally take care of you.”


Her loving words and the sincerity that was laced with it melted my heart away. Every syllable that came out from her lips were like soothing melodies orchestrated by the angels from heaven above that put a smile at the corners of my lips and patches every wounded bit inside of me.


“I love you so much, baby. Mommy's love for you is endless and beyond anything else” She beamed widely in contrast to the sleepy eyes her face bores. “Head inside now and prepare to go to bed. It’s way past your bedtime.”


“Don’t stay out long, Mommy. You also need a lot of sleep, tomorrow is Grandpa Angel’s burial and we must be there early” I simply nodded at her reminders and watched her alight the car.


These are the reasons why I am still sane even amidst all the ruckus I am at now. She was the sole reason why I kept on fighting and kept on believing that someday I will surpass this heavily burdened turmoil. Michelle was the only one who kept me from living. And I am thankful for having her in my life. I am so grateful to God that He had given me a priceless gem that I could call mine forever.


After tucking Michelle to bed and sending her off to sleep, I freshened myself and was about to lie down beside her when my mind reminded me of the corporate lawyer who called earlier this evening and the letter she instructed me to take a look at. With slightly groggy eyes and heavy feet, I dragged myself out of the room and headed towards the living room.


There were additional mails from the previous ones on top of the center table that needed my attention, but I only took the one I specifically had in mind, which according to the caller was of great importance and requires urgency. The outer part of the white mailing envelope stated the sender’s name in bold striking letters and its main office address.


HUNT GLOBAL CORPORATION. Wall Street, New York City.


Still haven’t got an inch of a clue of what the company was and how big it is, but with the mere sight of its location for which I am mostly aware of as one of the busiest cities in the world and where most of the prominent and prestigious people in the business industry could be found, I could already tell that this company was indeed at the top-notch on its field.


Without further ado, I slid open the envelope and was slightly taken aback of what’s inside. Although the letter was also made of paper, it was not an ordinary paper of white that I normally encountered. The paper inside was creamy in color and very fragrantful, obviously coming from a wealthy establishment that screams sophistication and elegance. Never in my entire existence have I received such a letter that speaks highly of itself. This was certainly the first of its kind.


I took the folded content with regards and care. My eyebrows slightly arched with amazement and astonishment at how the paper seemed to glide through my fingers, because of how smooth and refined it was. The paper alone must have cost hundreds of bucks that could supply days of food on a middle class table.


The minute I opened it, the premier page contained a greeting of salutations and reverence with my name written on it at the top left side. I swiftly flipped the page after I was done reading it and the following page revealed the sole purpose of the letter. I ran my eyes through the lines and I was in the middle of reading it when my eyes immediately popped open and drowsiness from exhaustion hastily left me.


“What the fuck! Are these for real?” I slapped my cheek hard enough to shake myself and confirm that I was still consciously awake and not an inch inside a dream world.


I couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t barely give credence to what I was seeing that made me blink several times. I couldn’t be convinced by what I’ve read, it was way too far from what I had been expecting. What I partially read didn’t only awaken my sleepy and groggy mind, which made my hands tremble involuntarily, it created a highly intensified earthquake in my entire system. Its rattling intensity caused me to totally be in an awestruckly mystified state and profoundly to be at a stand.