CHAPTER 52: ETHEREAL PEACE

I am in ethereal peace. My mind is in serene stillness and undisturbed by the ripples of turmoil this world has. It felt like the soft rustle of leaves in a tranquil forest and a calm lake at dawn as I gazed up at the quiet comfort of the starry night. The gentle breeze embraced me with bright promises as the vast universe above me seemed to hold its breath in silent reverence.


As I lay alone peacefully at the soft cushion under the pergola, my heart was singing in the essence of harmony, which creates a symphony of tranquility that soothes my spirit. Something that I never literally felt in my entire existence. A new experience that I have never experienced before.


I am in a sanctuary of calmness. No words could express the freedom I am now feeling as a whole. Freedom from the clamor of worry, freedom from the claws of sadness and freedom from past’s animosity, which my soul completely finds solace in the embrace of calm surrender.


I never thought such a thing would ever exist. Both mind and body, together with soul and spirit, colliding in one spectacular rhythm of peace anyone could ever imagine to occur. Even I myself couldn’t grasp the genuineness of this feeling I am now currently at. It felt so unreal yet amazingly great.


Finally after everything that had occurred in my life, all the sufferings and series of hurdles I encountered, which I thought was never ending, it stopped. There’s not an inch of worry now or fear inside my heart that my past would haunt me back. There’s no more anxiety of my former life that would crawl back inside my head while soundly sleeping. Everything was over and done with.


My past is dead and buried in the deepest part of the earth and I owe it all, the totality of it, to a single man whom I never thought existed. I am truly and beyond words grateful to my father who made all my wishes come true. If not for him, I would still be in bondage of pain and suffering. If not for him, I could never look at my surroundings the way I looked at it now.


‘Thank you, Daddy, for everything. Thank you for not just coming into my life, but for making it worthwhile and worth fighting for. I owe everything I acquired now because of you. You made me see the beauty in life, which I thought I would never get to see. You gave me a world I only dreamed of living in. Thank you so much. I promise to do everything, so you will get to be with Michelle until she grows up. I promise, Daddy, I love you beyond words.’


“Would I be a disturbance if I joined you in your seclusion?” My head swiftly turned at the voice that appeared out of nowhere. A genuine smile flashed at the corners of my lips as I saw Lewis standing a few inches away from where I was seated.


“Not at all. I was just marveling at the serenity of the night.”


“It’s such a fine evening indeed” He murmured softly as he meekly sat at the cushion next to me. “Has Michelle fallen asleep already?”


“She is. The trip made her exhausted.”


“Your daughter was truly wonderful, Penelope. I loved her energy and enthusiasm so much. It’s as if she never runs out of it” He said, lacing his words with astonishment and sheer gladness.


“You haven’t seen all of it, Lewis. Believe me, that was just half of her.”


“She’s lovable. A complete darling and a very smart one so to speak. If I were to close my eyes every time I talk with her, I would think I was talking to an adult and not to a six year old child” He happily conveyed, but seconds after, he sighs heavily that made me glance at his way with a questioning look.


“Is something the matter? You just sighed heavily right after praising my daughter. Is something wrong?”


“Nah, it’s nothing.”


“Are you sure? It doesn't sound like it’s nothing” I asked curiously. There was something in his last words that made me certain something made him suddenly somber, as if a wisp of bad air blew his way that abruptly saddened him.


“It's just that, how will I say this, uhm. Maybe, maybe if things didn’t happen in my life the way it did, perhaps I also have a child like Michelle with me now.”


“Speaking of which, pardon my curiosity, but why are you still single as of today? At your age, you should have been married and have children as well.”


He once again heaved deep sighs before uttering. “It’s a long story, Penelope.”


“I don’t mind. But of course, if you don’t wish to disclose it to me for certain private reasons, I would perfectly understand.”


There was a long pause amidst us as complete silence dominated the air once again. I was about to let him be, with thoughts that he must have preferred to keep his life in privacy, and was about to gazed up again at the dark sky when he started a word with a woman’s name.


“Mary Antonette Lopez. That’s the name of the only woman I put on the pedestal of my heart all my life. She was my everything and my world revolved at her alone the minute I fell head over heels for her. I thought she was my forever. All along I thought she would be the one whom I will spend the rest of my life with. But one fateful night, destroyed my every dream about us.”


I can vividly see in his eyes those sacred pains that he must have bore for years. I could literally feel it in my bones those anguish and suffering he endured for whatever was the cause of them.


“What happened?”


“Days before her birthday, I wished to surprise her and make up for those times I couldn’t be by her side, because of my hectic schedule as your father’s personal physician. I did all the preparations necessary to make our evening together extra special, I even brought with me her favorite flower. The surprise I specially intended for her turned out to be the greatest surprise of my life. I found her naked inside her apartment’s bathroom,” He paused, crumpling both his fists as his jaw clenched with a certain kind of rage I never saw him before to engage. My heart was radically thumping hard as I waited for his next words. “With my best friend. They were so engrossed with their carnal activities that they weren’t aware I was there witnessing their treachery to me.”


“Oh my God.”


This was certainly one of those pains that any man would never forget about, not to mention it was his fiance who did this to him and his trusted best friend. I couldn’t imagine what exactly happened that day when he discovered everything. My heart was crushing with him as I saw a spec of liquid fall from his sorrow filled eye. He was in so much pain that I could feel it even if we were inches apart.


“I never thought bad things could happen to kind-hearted people. All along I thought that if you do good to others then good karma will come after you. But I guess I wasn’t that good enough, because that night, I experienced what it was like to be in hell.”


His shoulders began to shake as he grudgingly held onto his hair and cried his heart out in miserable wails. My body immediately moved and cut our distance, sitting beside him before wrapping my arms around his trembling body.


“Cry it all out, Lewis, so somehow those pains will be lessened” I whispered consolingly.


He wept countless times on my shoulder. He was like a child crying with painful tears because of being badly injured. I let him take his time to unburden his heavy loads as I caress his back to ease his sorrows away. Minutes later, he distanced himself from me and brushed his tears away.


“I never told anyone the exact details of what happened that night, because I am afraid that I might completely lose my mind if I recollect what happened to me. I didn’t know why I told them to you.”


“Your secrets are safe with me, Lewis. Be rest assured that I will not tell anyone about it.”


“Thank you, Penelope. And thank you for listening to my sentiments.”


“What are friends for, right? You listened to me before during my downest moment, so it’s only proper that I listen to you this time.”


“I appreciate the sincerity of your words and your genuine acts, Penelope. But there is one thing that I am against with what you mentioned.”


“What was it?”


He stared at me intently. The pain his eyes bore are gone and was replaced with tenderness and infinite sparks. He gently held my hands, putting a light pressure at them as he locked his sight on me.


“I don’t wish for us to be friends.”


“What are you saying, Lewis?” My voice was laced with utmost confusion as my eyes were fixed at his.


“I don’t want us to simply be just friends, Penelope, because I think… I believe I have fallen in love with you.”


And the ethereal peace that I felt earlier suddenly got disturbed and was shaken by a tremendously unpredictable force with his unexpected and unforeseen disclosure.