Chapter 53 He Said

Ava's POV
I don't know if people look back on their most pathos and despairing past again and again in their long lives.
But what I can imagine is that everything I have ever seen will once again be completely repeated today.
And there is nothing I can do about it.
I didn't.
If there is a God, I think he must really hate this story with me as the main character, that's why he would make me relive those very exciting scenes of my life over and over again like this, without any patience at all.
Like the knife that was thrust into my shoulder by two people in different roles, like the damn ragged cotton dress on my sister, and the lonely and similar childhood.
I dropped to the floor, blood running down my arm like a criminal waiting to be interrogated.
Footsteps cluttered up before my eyes, far away down the stairs or the secret passage behind me that had so far not succeeded in being entered.
At this time, I remembered the time when I was lying in Bright Moon Pack's own room at a very young age.
Green, I like green, everyone knows that.
Outside the window of my little room with Kate, there were large, large creepers that climbed along the window frame to become a wall of green, and I grew up behind such a wall, and my parents died behind such a wall.
In fact, I can no longer remember what they looked like.
I was too young to remember a pair of skeletal hands beneath the fluttering white corners of my isolated coat, and they held me in a kind of airplane gliding game as I made crisp, joyful giggles on my way up and down.
And then it soaked into the blood.
I was carried out of the house I was living in by something, and outside the house stood my little sister, who was wearing a floral dress and opening her arms towards me.
Who was it that killed them? How did they die?
I don't know.
On the day I grew up hard and not so hard, knowing how to take back what belonged to me from the jerk across the street, the last Alpha of Bright Moon Pack called me to his side.
He was gasping for air and already dying.
He told me that my parents had died in a fight between wolves and that he had issued the wrong instructions, putting everyone in danger and giving the then Antler Pack the opportunity to attack and let my parents die horribly.
And the antler wolf pack had been completely wiped out at his hands three years ago, and the people who killed my parents were bitten off limbs and thrown into the wild forest; at that time, I didn't know who they were, and only felt that they died tragically.
Now, as one of the murderers, he is also going to die.
"Do you want revenge?"
His throat seemed to cackle with countless thick phlegm, unable to swallow or spit out, and his voice sounded like a worn out bellows.
"I ......"
I don't know what to say, how to say it.
"Want to take revenge?"
"I want to."
I should want to, shouldn't I?
I should have resented the fact that we lost our parents because of his mistakes, that Kate stopped developing, and I had every right to!
But I took him as my father, and with him I learned the skills of a doctor and the ability to stop starving, and no one my age at Bright Moon Pack could beat me, and no one didn't know me when I greeted them at the training ground.
After ten years of care and teaching, what am I supposed to hate about him?
That he didn't treat me and Kate exactly like his own daughter? Do I hate him for telling me about the past only today? Or do I hate that my no-good sister fell in love with his goofy, to-be-the-new-alpha son?
"I know." He said with a sigh, "Come here my daughter."
He stroked my head, "I was selfish and foolish and did your parents a disservice, and I loved you enough to let you be the best daughter I could, the Beta of Bright Moon Pack. And I was afraid you would resent me and leave me, so I wouldn't let anyone tell you about your birth. I know your ability, you are too good, and Carson dull and ordinary, so I deliberately cultivate Kate and his feelings, just to keep you."
"I only did it to keep you."
"Tell me, would you like to stay?"
"Stay and be the Bright Moon Pack's beta, will you?"
"I don't want to."
I do.
"You don't want to."
"I don't want to."
"Good. Good." He gasped and slowly smiled at me, "Remember, you don't want to. No one can make you want to. You have to be my daughter before you can be Hagar's daughter. Your healing skills are Hagar's legacy, but your skills were taught by me."
"My daughter." His voice slowly lowered, "Go on."
"Yes." I took one step out and heard my voice tremble as I replied, "Father."
I had no more revenge to take.
I haven't dreamed of him since then; I've only dreamed of Kate's floral dress over and over again. But countless times I woke up anxiously from my dreams thinking of his face reassured me.
Today I didn't see him.
I can't think of his face.
I can't feel him smiling at me the way he once always smiled at me doing what I was supposed to be doing. No compliments, no criticism.
I lost him again after the last time I lost him, after I threw away the proudest part of myself.
Don't let hate sway your emotional character and feelings.
That's what he taught me.
On the day he left, he taught me one last lesson.
I covered my bleeding wound but couldn't shed a single tear.
"Bertha!"
A familiar voice came running toward me.
"Why are you here. What happened?!" Adele rushed over to try to help me up who was leaning against the bookshelf, and I saw her shocked gaze turn to my injured shoulder
"Someone hurt you!"
"Yeah little girl." Deborah smiled, fingertips playing with a small knife as she walked over and looked down at us, "What are you going to do about it?"
"It's you." Adele's eyes turned fierce, "Why are you doing this!"
"Get out of here Adele." I don't know if Deborah will do something to her at this time, she was able to do it to Aaron before, and I guess Aaron's sister she doesn't care about now.
But Deborah wasn't as outrageous as I thought, or maybe I was just being stupid.
She gently reached out to touch Adele's head, but unfortunately the little girl was in anger simply did not appreciate it, slapped her hand down, "Stay away from us! You wicked, bad woman!"
"Us?"
Deborah gave a flirtatious look as if she had heard some interesting new news, "Do you know who she is? Just us with her? Didn't your brother teach you not to trust strangers?"
"My brother certainly taught it." Adele is looking more and more mature these days, and while talking she didn't forget to take out something within the gauze from her small backpack to help me with my wounds, "My brother also taught me not to talk to familiar strangers, and especially not to turn my back on her or I would be killed."
If I didn't know this story very well indeed I wouldn't really be able to know what she had said, but unfortunately I do, and know it very well.
So I saw Deborah's smug smile slowly fading from her face.
And to add to my despair and pain, she came up with glowing eyes and crouched down next to Adele.
"You think I'm the one who stabbed him?"
She whispered, "Wasn't it you who stabbed him?"
"Shut up! Deborah!" I reached out to pull Adele away from this Siren-like woman, but just as I did so, I was yanked by the hand.
Deborah grabbed my wrist, looked at me, let go of my hand and slowly helped Adele up to a face-to-face crouch to look at her.
"Wasn't you the one who stabbed him?"
She repeated again, "If you hadn't called out to him, how would he have found me?"
"I just wanted to knock him out and take him away, I would have treated him just as well without you, he wouldn't even have had to know about it all. I'll still help him get his revenge, I'll help him kill everyone in the Pabu pack, and he'll still be the best Alpha he can be."
"Not without you, Adele." She smiled and whispered, "Everything would be better than it is now."
"You're a loser, holding everyone back and keeping everyone from being happy."
"No, it's not like that." I stood up sharply, only to fall back down again without standing firm, "Don't believe her Adele, don't believe her!"
Adele dully turned her head to look at me, her eyes were hollow.
"Look at Adele." She laughed, her voice rising high, "Look at her."
She pointed one finger at me, "This time too, if you hadn't been close to this woman, how would she have found the opportunity to get close to your brother? And how would your brother have trusted her? And finally let Bright Moon Pack obtain all your information?"
"You call her Sister Bertha? Hahahahaha."
"She's not even called that."
"Do you know what her name is? Do you want to know?"
Deborah pulled her up from the ground and said in her gentlest tone, "She ah, her name is Ava, she has a sister oh. She knows more than you, she's cuter than you, she sounds like you, and she likes to draw just like you. Oh, also looks a little like you."
"She used you and used you as a gadget when her sister was away, and cheated your brother, what a pest."
"No Adele." I shook my head, tears dripping without feeling, "I didn't do this to you, I swear, I do have a sister, but you ...... you ......"
I couldn't say anything else.
Deborah smiled at me from a short distance away, her eyes cold.
"Yeah, I did betray your brother once." She cocked her head at me and put her fingers on her neck making a wiping motion, and her mouth was still saying.
"I really regret it very much."
But she laughed mockingly, and I could not see any regret.
"But I never wanted him to die."
"Last time, you were the one who let him get knifed. And this time, you helped him find someone who really wanted to kill him."