The Distance Between Us

"Hi, is there something I can help you with? all of your warriors are fixed up and back on the training ground " I smile politely waiting for his reply, but he stands like a statue still staring at me. I’ve met this guy a total of 2 times and it’s like he’s possessed.

Getting a little worried I step out from behind my desk my breathing is heavy now I rarely get scared anymore my gift from the goddess won’t allow my emotions to deter past a whisper, however when it does, I lose control and I don’t like myself in that way. I stand in front of him heart beating so fast it might burst out and I stare into his eyes what is wrong with him and why am I worried, his breathing increases and he takes a step towards me his face now so close to mine.

"Sigurd are you okay?" my need to heal takes over and instinctively touch his arm the touch seems to release him, and he stares at me again this time I know he’s present. He looks at me and looks at his arm my hand still resting on it and I pull away, He still has not said a word when his eyes reach mine then like all of this was in my head he turns and walks away.

Cynth, what the hell was that?" Cyrus voice resonates my own feelings.

"I don’t know, but that was weird right it was like he was looking right through me and he didn’t even hear me when I spoke”.

"Did you feel it when we touched him though it felt like pins and needles? "

"Yeah, I don’t know what that was about his skin was oddly cold for a werewolf " I try to shake of the feeling and walk back to my desk.
I’m surrounded by paperwork but all I can think about was that weird encounter, deciding that my brain has worked enough for one night I head down to dinner.

I see Arti and Ryan sat with Calder and Sigi. I’m not really feeling sitting in that awkwardness I opt for takeaway; I fill up 2 places cover them and head up to Sel’s room.

I knock on the door praying she’s awake I hear a muffled voice.

"GO AWAY!"

"Sel it’s me, I bought dinner." I know what she’s like when it comes to food, I wait by the door then I hear the lock click and Sel is stood there her entire body wrapped in her quilt she waddles towards the beanbag and I follow.

"I bought your some of your favourites, Pizza, French fries with melted cheese and one of Sybils famous chocolate Malteser milkshakes " I see her perk up her head poking out of the quilt I usher her to move over on the beanbag so I can sit. We eat the food in comfortable silence staring out the window as the sun goes down. I’m about to speak when Selene speaks first.

"Do you think I’m being silly Cynth, I know Dom isn’t my mate but for the first time I was excited at the thought of having one " I feel the pain in her words, I know the pain in her words better than anyone.

"Sel, I know your hurt right now about Dom but as hard as it is to hear he found the person he was supposed to be with ,the person he was made for .They of them are two halves of the same soul now that they’ve found each other they will feel complete ,I know this is hard for you to hear but you will find that too someday "
She is resting her head on my shoulder and I can feel her shoulders move as small sobs escape her instinctively I wrap by arm around her and pull her close .Like always when I touch my sisters I feel what they feel I try to focus on happy thoughts draining some of the pain away from her and pulling her out of the darkness as I continue .

"One day you will find someone so perfect for you that the world will just make sense, the colours will seem brighter and your happiness will know no bounds, it won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it " She tugs away from me a little staring at me her eyes puffy.

"Is that why you did what you did Cynth?"

I’ve never explained to anyone what happened after Kari died, when I found him it was the most amazing moment of my life we just clicked and then when I lost him my whole world shattered around me. I don’t like to talk about it, but I feel like Sel deserves to know.
I take a deep breath and begin.

"When I first met Kari, the world just made sense he was perfect for me, the way we laughed, the way we danced. When I left that day, I begged him not to go I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong, about 30 minutes later I felt it " I breath in trying to stop the flow of tears.

"I felt the bond break , I felt the distance between us so vast and unforgiving he had gone where I couldn’t follow , it was like someone walked up to my heart and ripped it out with their hands while I stood and watched and then handed it to me .I was helpless to the pain entirely at its mercy .Cyrus was howling inside my head at the loss Arti tried to help me as I feel to the ground I felt her touch but it was too late ,My heart was broken . I laid in the hospital bed for a week in denial hoping that every time the door opened it would be him, but it never was. Eventually I prayed that I would go to sleep and not wake up ".
The tears are streaming down my face now and sell his holding my hands tight her eyes filled with tears too throughout touch I know she can feel it.

"That night I fell into a coma , inside my head I was convinced the mod goddess had given me what I wanted she had finally let me go so I could be with Kari , but it wasn’t too be I walked around my memories reliving every moment with Kari and often without parents too Cyrus in her wolf form always next to me .And then one day I stepped into a memory I didn’t recognise a vast field littered with poppies and a woman sitting in the middle I walked to her and I sat down ,she told me she was the Moon Goddess and that she was here to help me with my heartbreak I was so happy she was finally going to let me be with him and I couldn’t wait " Sel hands my a tissue and I wipe my tears .

"What happened then Cynth?" Her voice was soft ushering me to carry on, it felt good to tell her like I was sharing my pain with another.

" She offered me something else. She told me that he hearts broke for me and that she was sorry my happiness was short, she then gave me a choice, she told me I could go with Kari if that’s what I wanted or I could go and fulfil my destiny. I asked her what she meant, and she only replied "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice " I didn’t know what she meant how could I chose destiny if I didn’t know what it was. She then offered to take my pain away if that’s what I wanted, to choose my destiny but to live without the pain I felt now, in return she would gift me the ability to heal so long as I used to it protect others. My gift is wonderful I can heal someone with a touch but it’s also a curse I’m destined to be alone, but it was my choice. I made the choice to be here, to be strong with arty, to see you grow up, to heal and help those in need. " I finished staring at her, I knew she was feeling overwhelmed, so I pulled my hand away.

"God Cynth, I had no idea, you felt all of that you could have been with him, but you chose not to be”.

I wipe the tears from her face "I didn’t choose to leave him, he is always with me, but I chose to be a part of your life and to stand with you and Arti, a part of me died that day sure but the other half still lives, I still feel pain and emotions, but I will never feel them with that intensity again and I am grateful”.

I take her hand in mine again we have now both calmed down and we stare at the window.

"This pain you feel Sel, its temporary it will pass and when you find your mate, you’ll know the difference”.

After this Sel seems a little happier, we sit together laughing and speaking about our happy memories for the first time in a while I’m remembering the happiness I had with Kari and it feels good.

Out time is interrupted when Arti links us both the silver moon are leaving and we are to go down and say goodbye, sensing Sel doesn’t want to I link her back and let her know we are still eating, truth be told I don’t want to say goodbye to Sigurd I would be content to not see him again.
Sel nods at me as a thank you and carry-on staring at the moon and talking. It was one of the best nights I’ve had for a long time.